“I need to speak to you as next of kin to Jane Tyler…”
I don’t know what the next words are. Not really. Only a few of them stand out, and they make my blood run ice cold. The rug is swept from under my feet, and I don’t even know if I’m standing anymore. My whole body wobbles, I want to throw up, I want to scream and shout, but I can’t. I’m stuck, frozen.
Jane… Cardiac Arrest… Time of death…
“She’s… she’s dead?” I howl. “No, she can’t be. You’re lying. I was just there with her. I’m supposed to be meeting her later on. This isn’t… It can’t be… No, no, no…” I rake my fingers through my hair. “Please, tell me that this is some kind of a sick joke or something, because… she was doing so well earlier. She looked good. How can she just go? The doctor didn’t tell me that was going to happen. Someone should have warned me.”
“I’m sorry, Miss Tyler,” the voice confirms, making everything die around me.
My phone falls to the floor with a loud clatter with me not far behind it. I hit my head hard, causing my vision to blur and a blackness to come for me. I give myself to the blackness. I want it to take me. I want to wake up from this, and it all be a nightmare. Jane can’t be gone. Not like this. It isn’t right, I can’t accept it. There’s just no way … She’s my sister. I need her. She’s supposed to be here forever. To meet my baby, to be with me in life. I can’t be alone, I can’t do it. I don’t think I can go on any longer…
My life is over. Without Jane, I don’t know who I am, what I can do, what will happen…
Chapter Thirty-Six
Isaac
Jane: Hi Isaac, I know it’s been a while because you and Lexi have been having your issues, but I know that she loves you and she wants to sort it out. I’m just about to go into treatment but I would love it if you came to the hospital later on to see her. It would make my day if you two could make up once more x
Isaac: Of course I will. I want to make things up with Lexi as well. I have missed her like crazy. I will come in later on and see you both, see what we can do for you. I hope everything goes well xx
I smile to myself as I stare at the messages on my phone, knowing that finally I can see the girls again. It’s been killing me to keep away, but I knew that it was the right thing to do. Lexi needed space and I had to give it to her. But if Jane thinks that she is ready to see me again, then I will be there.
It’s been torture to get through the rest of the day, but at least I have been busy. It’s going to be so exciting to tell Lexi and Jane about my company. I bet they’re going to love it.
I walk the usual route towards Jane’s room, knowing the way now, and I step into her room… but immediately I’m struck by the sense that everything is different. It’s empty, which means that she might still be in treatment, but it isn’t just that. It’s not quite what it was before. I don’t understand…
“Excuse me,” I say to the first staff member that I come across. “Where is Jane Tyler?”
I point to the room behind me and immediately her face falls. I can already tell that this is going to be bad before she opens her mouth, but I’m not expecting what she actually says. That stuns me to the core.
“I’m sorry, Miss Tyler passed away this afternoon, she had some complications with her heart…”
Shit. The world falls out from underneath me. I don’t even know what I’m doing, I barely hear the next words that she says, I just fall into a state of sheer terror. I can’t understand how that’s happened, it doesn’t make any sense. I know that she didn’t look great, the treatment wasn’t making her look healthy, but I didn’t know it was that bad. I thought she was good, I didn’t know that she was anywhere near dying…
“Lexi,” I pant out, knowing this will be killing her. “Oh my God, where’s Lexi?”
I take off, running around panicking like a fucking headless chicken. I don’t know where she is, but I’m assuming she must be in the hospital somewhere. Falling apart probably, dying inside too.
I don’t even realize that I’m crying over the loss of Jane until I notice the wetness of my cheeks. She was a wonderful person. Even though I only knew her personally since she has been sick, but she has such a strong will, a funny personality, a feisty fun loving attitude that would inspire everyone.
Now, she’s been put out like a candle and it’s horrible. The world is worse off without her. Of all the people that could have been taken from this planet, the ones who deserve to go, and Jane is gone.
I gulp down, swallowing down the thick ball of emotion that lodges in my throat. I honestly don’t know if I will ever be able to breathe again. I might not have known Jane for long, but she’s impacted me deeply. I was so looking forward to seeing her again. I’m so sorry to not have one last visit with her. It hurts.
“Lexi!” I see her bundled on the floor, a collapsed heap, and I know that it’s her. “Lexi, oh my God.”
I hope that she doesn’t push me away as I slide down onto the ground and I scoop her up in my arms. She rests against me, leaning her soaking wet face against me and we cry together. With Lexi in my arms, I feel the loss even more intensely. This was the only person left that Lexi had and now… well I don’t know if she will ever be able to recover. I haven’t experienced grief this intense, so there is only so much I can do.
I move both of us slightly towards the wall so that we aren’t in people’s way, and we just remain there in our own little bubble. I have no idea how much time has passed, what we’re going to do next, and to be honest that doesn’t really matter. All I care about is holding this woman. Comforting her. As much as I can anyway.
“She… she’s gone,” she finally bursts out. “This… this treatment was supposed to make her better. Not kill her. It isn’t fair.” She grips hard on to my soaking wet top. “It’s not right. Jane didn’t deserve to die.”
“I know, I know.” I stroke Lexi’s hair, treating her a little like a child. “I’m sorry.”
“She was good, Isaac. Why didn’t I die? She didn’t deserve to go. I didn’t think… I didn’t think that it would be her. And I wasn’t even here when it happened. I wasn’t even with her.”
I don’t think that Jane would have wanted her to be there because she knew how much this was going to tear her sister apart anyway, but that isn’t what Lexi needs to hear right now, I can just sense it.