Now I’m not only having one baby. I’m having two.
“Shit, fucking hell.” I press my palms into my eyes, trying to work out what I’m going to do next. Now that it’s twins I definitely should step up, I should be a dad no matter what I think about it. I can’t leave Serena to do this by herself, what sort of man would that make me? Just because I grew up without a father, doesn’t mean my children need to do the same. My dad didn’t mean to leave me, I would be doing it on purpose, that’s the difference.
I need to go home, I have to sober up, then tomorrow it’s time to do the right thing.
So why the hell are my feet headed back into the bar?
“Fucking shots!” I yell to Kyle and the bar maid as soon as I get back inside. People turn to stare at me but I don’t care. “I need shots and lots of them. Keep them coming.”
“Oh if we’re getting shots we should go to CeeLow,” Kyle says excitedly. “Then we can have those sexy shot girls all around us, teasing us all night long.”
Maybe Serena doesn’t work there anymore, maybe after finding out about the baby she quit her job, but I can’t risk it. I don’t want to go anywhere that she might be. I don’t want to see her, and especially not now. I couldn’t face her, it’s all too much.
“No,” I growl angrily. “Let’s have shots here. It’s nice here and there are plenty of gorgeous chicks to keep us going.” I grab some faceless blonde girl next to me and plant a wet sloppy kiss on her lips. She squeals but with glee. She probably wants me. To prove what sort of man I am I also grab her friend and do the same. I don’t want anyone to get any funny ideas. “See, we can have all the fun right here. You want that, right?”
As Kyle agrees a little begrudgingly, I scan my eyes around. I need to find some chick worth burying myself in tonight – protected, of course, I will never make that mistake again! I need someone to help me forget...
“Ah, you are here,” a voice purrs. “What a surprise, it seems that the loved up Ben is gone and my Ben is back.”
Marie. Perfect. Just fucking perfect.
***
“Urgh, fucking hell,” I groan as my eyes slowly slide open. My head pounds, my stomach churns, I feel incredibly sensitive to everything. “What happened last night?”
“Don’t you remember?” A giggling voice replies, shocking me. I guess I’m not as alone in my bed as I thought I was which instantly spells trouble. “It was a whole lot of fun.”
Flashes come back to me, a lot of them involving Marie which isn’t good news. Going back to her would ensure that Serena never looked at me again. Not that I want her to, I just don’t want the possibility completely ruled out. Just in case. I don’t want Marie any more anyway, I decided that. I hope I haven’t gone back on my idea instantly. She’ll never damn well leave me alone ever again. I’ll create an even worse stalker than before.
“Yeah, it was amazing.”
Huh. Another voice. As I finally brave looking down into my bed I see a blonde and a girl with light brown hair lying there next to me, both very naked and both sexy as hell. It’s clear we had a threesome last night, which would normally be very awesome, I love a good threesome, but today leaves my brain foggy and my body a bit disgusted in myself.
At least it isn’t Marie, that’s the one god thing. Maybe it’s the girls from the bar.
“Maybe we should do something to respark his memory.” The blonde hops up onto her hands and knees and starts crawling towards me. I wait for something to ignite in my downstairs area, but nothing happens. I don’t want this, and not just because I feel ill. Not now. “What do you think we can do to make him remember?”
“Oh well I particularly like sucking on him,” the other girl suggests with a cheeky smile and a wink. “Maybe that should happen again, that was a lot of fun last night...”
I need to stop this now, before it spirals out of control. Last night I wanted to be surrounded by people but now I just need to be alone.
“I’m going to be a dad,” I blurt out in sheer desperation. Anything to make these girls vanish. “To twins, so no I can’t do this again.”
The blonde’s expression hardens. “Last night you told us that you can’t have kids. That you never have and you never will, was that a lie, or is this?”
?
??Er, that was. I don’t know what I was saying I was drunk... I need to go in the shower so if you two can just... you know...” I can’t say go, it sounds too harsh. “Go.” Oh, oops it’s out there.
I run away from my two brand new enemies, I’m sure that’s what they’ll become, hating myself the entire time. I really need to decide how I’m going to act before I do anything else. Am I going to be a man and start acting like a decent human being or am I going to continue down this spiralling path of self destruction? I need to know because whatever I do next is utterly vital to my future.
Who am I going to be?
Chapter Twenty Two – Serena
I can’t believe I’m here, I just... I cannot believe it. It’s horrible.
I’ve resorted to the one thing I never thought I would do, the one thing I tried my hardest to avoid... I’ve come back home. My home town still looks exactly the same; remote, run down, shabby. It’s almost as if it wants to remind everyone all the time that it’s the sort of place that’s going nowhere and that no one ever wants to visit. That’s why I haven’t wanted to come back since I left. The sleek lights of the modern city are so much better than this.