I’m working, I can’t afford the travel, I have to look after Jenny... there have been many excuses that I’ve used over the past few years to avoid coming back home for the holidays, and now I’m here again, as a surprise. With a surprise or two. This is going to go really well.
“Hello there, Serena,” Old Men Ted calls out to me in a tone that suggests he only saw me yesterday rather than five years ago. “How are you?”
“Erm, yeah fine.” This place must be a time trap, people just get stuck in the same moment and nothing ever changes. “How are you?”
“Oh good, you know how it is. It hasn’t been easy since my wife died...” Oh God, that’s something I didn’t know about. I don’t know what to say. “But I’m getting there.”
“That’s erm, yeah good. I think I better go. My parents are waiting for me.”
He nods and lets me leave, but as I go the fact that I’m in a time warp doesn’t leave me. It’s almost as if everything that happened out of this town was a dream; the jobs, Jenny, Ben... all of it. If it wasn’t for the reminder in my belly I might truly forget about it all. It’s almost as if I haven’t left school yet, I’m still with Luke, I haven’t done any growing up.
As I stand outside my childhood home, I feel odd, like I don’t belong. All I need to do is take a few steps forward and I’ll be there. But those few steps feel like climbing a mountain. I don’t know if I can do them. I’m aware that I need to, that I can’t move on with my life without making those steps, but I just can’t do it. What am I going to say? Hi guys, I’m back! Oh and I’m pregnant with twins and the father doesn’t want to know. Yeah, that’s going to go really well.
With a deep sigh I take those steps with heavy feet. I don’t think I ever intended to come back, not really. I certainly didn’t ever intend to return here. When I lift my hand to knock on the door, it’s trembling like crazy, but still I make myself do it. When my fist hits the door, the sound reverberates right through me. It makes my head ache and my chest feel weird. I’m filled with utter regret about everything that I’ve done so far.
“Oh.” The door swings open and my dad stands on the other side, looking at me like I’m a ghost from his past. I suppose in a way I am. “Serena. We weren’t expecting you...”
“No, I know. This is a surprise.” I try to smile but it definitely doesn’t reach my eyes. “I just thought I would come home because.” I shrug. There isn’t a reasonable explanation for this. “Because I haven’t in a very long time.”
“No, of course not. Come inside.”
As I step in, I’m in yet another time warp. It’s almost as if I’ve never left. I’m sure if I head upstairs I’ll see my old bedroom looking exactly the same as it always did.
“Hey, sis.” I turn to see a tall boy who’s grown skinner but more manly since the last time I saw him. His presence actually shocks me and reminds me that while nothing looks like it’s changed, absolutely everything has. “How are you? Long time no see.”
He wraps his arms around me and has me gasping in shock. “Ethan, you’re actually taller than me now. I can’t believe it.”
“Well, I am seventeen years old now. I have grown quite a bit.”
“Yeah that’s...” I look at him with shining eyes. “You look good, bro. I’m glad to see you again. It’s been too long, I will make more effort to come back again.”
“Oh my goodness, Serena, Is that really you?” Mom joins us then, with a shocked expression on her face. “I can’t believe that you’ve finally come back home. Have you decided to come back now? You know we want you home.”
“Erm, not exactly.” Urgh, if only it was that simple. Now I kinda wish that was it. “Can we talk? Do you mind? Can we all go in the living room?”
Mom and Dad share a look, but they follow me into the front room. At first, Ethan makes us all tea, during which time we do some pointless small talk. I fill my parents in on the very basics of what I’ve been doing in the city over the last five years. I give the scantest details, even though I know they want more. They also tell me a couple of things too, not that I pay much attention. My buzzing ears can’t hear anything.
Then Ethan comes back in and it’s time to tell all. As he hands me a mug, I have to instantly put it down for fear of making a mess. My shaking hands can barely hold anything right now. I’m a mess.
“So.” I rub my hands up and down my trousers. “The reason I’m here actually is because I’m... I’m...” I breathe in and out a couple of times, trying desperately to steady myself. Mom and Dad are staring at me like I’ve grown an alien head, but Ethan is more focused on the TV. Thank God, I don’t know how I’d get this out with his eyes on me as well. “I’m pregnant.” An intense hush fills the room so I feel the need to continue, to get it all out. “With twins, actually.”
Mom and Dad look at each other again and I’m sure I see both their faces pale. Even Ethan shoots me a little glance but there isn’t any judgement there. He’s just giving me a look, almost as if he’s trying to tell me that he’s there. For a seventeen year old, he sure seems mature.
“You’re having a baby?” Dad finally pants out. “With who? Why isn’t the father here with you? Are you married? Did you get married and not tell us?”
Of course he would ask that. He comes from a time period and a small town that expects such behaviour. People from here don’t have babies unless they’re married. Of course that leads to lots of shot gun weddings, but that’s preferable to doing it alone. I knew this was a bad idea.
“No, I’m not married,” I say quietly. “I’m not with the father either. He... well he freaked out when I told him about the baby and now he doesn’t want to know.”
“Oh my God.” Mom stands up and she paces the room. “Oh my goodness. I cant believe this. I cannot believe this happened.” She runs her hands through her hair looking incredibly stressed by my news. I knew she wouldn’t take it well, but I don’t know if I thought it would be this bad. “This is why we didn’t want you to go to the city, we knew this would happen. You should have just stayed here and continued dating that nice Luke boy. You know what he does now? He’s the manager of the supermarket.”
Urgh, I can’t even entertain that notion. It’s too painful for words. Mom clearly doesn’t know what an asshole Luke is. I can’t even start going down that road with her... at least now I know to avoid the supermarket.
“Mom, this is serious,” I tell her. “This didn’t happen because I went to the city, this happened because I fell in love with someone who didn’t deserve it.”
That stops her in her tracks. Maybe she thinks it’s better because I’m in love with Ben, I don’t know. Either way, she stops ranting which is good.
“What do you intend to do?” Dad jumps in, unfortunately taking over that role. “Have you come home to live here? Because I