Broken

“Oh my God!” he exclaims, maybe a bit too loudly. He disturbs Rose and she gets a little fussy. Luckily it doesn’t take long to get her resettled. “Oh my God,” he says again only a lot quieter. “Are you serious? You’re really willing to give this a try?”

“I am,” I confirm feeling happy and confident about my decision. “I really am. I mean, we’ll have to discuss things at some point to work out how this will work exactly, but yeah I think we should give it a go. Don’t you? I mean, our children definitely deserve for us to give it a try.”

“Yeah,” he grins at me. “I think you’re right, and of course. We do need to ensure that we’re both on the same page, and I promise I’ll be better this time.”

“How are things with your business?” I ask curiously. “Just in case that comes up again.”

“Oh, well I’ve scaled back and I now have some awesome staff to delegate too. I can see now that the company doesn’t need me, it just needs some solid management. That’s something that Mom made me see.”

Thank goodness. I don’t think I could be with someone who works all the time. I didn’t really see it last time I was with Ben because he kept avoiding work for me, but once I got out and I saw how much he gave of himself to it, I knew. It’s good that he has ambition and that makes something of himself, but giving his company everything isn’t any good for me. Especially not now.

“Good, well I’m glad to hear that you have more of a balance now. That’s awesome. You must be really happy.”

“I will be.” He leans across and kisses me on the forehead. “When you guys are with me.”

Knock, knock,

“Hmm, I wonder who that is,” Ben says questioningly. “Mom wouldn’t knock again. Not now.”

“Come in!” I call.

The door swings open and Jenny is on the other side looking weary as al hell. “I’m so sorry,” she croaks. “I fell asleep in the waiting room. Have the babies been born yet?” She opens her eyes wider and shock fills her face. “Oh my God, you’ve only got one, what happened to the other one?”

“My mom is here and she has him.” Ben smiles and takes Rose from me. “I better go and find her actually, and Rose probably needs a walk too.”

“Can you find her?” I ask as he walks towards the door. “Thank you.”

Me and Jenny smile at each other as Ben goes, tactfully leaving us alone to have a much needed conversation. If I’m going to move out then she really needs to know. It’s only right that I’m honest with her.

“So, you gave birth,” she says happily. “That must have been...”

“Well, it wasn’t fun,” I confess. “I can tell you that much, but it’s over now.”

Jenny sits by my bed and she takes my hands. “So what happens now? I know we haven’t discussed it much, but have you thought about it? It won’t be easy in our apartment with two babies.”

“I know, and I hope you don’t mind, but I really don’t think it’s possible.” My face flames, I feel terrible. “I think it might be best if I move out.”

“Where will you go?”

“Well, Ben just asked me to move back in with him...”

“Oh thank goodness.” Jenny’s head falls forward with relief. “I mean, I would have helped you, you know that much, but I don’t know if our friendship would have survived it. This isn’t just one crying, pooping baby, this is two. That’s too much to ask of anyone. I’m not a saint!”

Thank goodness. I’m so happy she isn’t upset that I’m moving out. The last thing I want is to lose Jenny right now. She’s been such an awesome friend to me, I don’t know what I’d do without her.

“So you aren’t mad?”

“Mad? Pfft no. With these music video gigs and I can easily afford the place on my own and I think you and the babies both need Ben as well.”

“Yeah, I think you might be right about that one.” I smile to myself. “It seems that he really is different now. I think he might actually have changed.”

“Well that’s good, but I will keep your room open just in case. I don’t want you to stay with him just because you don’t have any other options, okay?”

“Thank you, Jenny.”

“And if it helps, I’ll help Ben move your stuff out of ours and into his before you get out of the hospital, make sure you have nothing to do.”

To stop myself from weeping with emotion, I make