I couldn’t help myself and I ran into his arms. I knocked him down with me on top of him. “I can’t believe that I haven’t done this before. I’ve let my fears hold me hostage and I’m not going to do that anymore. You’re going to see a new woman. I always thought that I was fearless, but this was something that I didn’t want to share with anybody.” My body was pressed up against him with his hands around my waist and my eyes alight with a fire that could only be extinguished one way.
The big hose between his legs was the only thing that I had on my mind. I could feel him quite engorged and ready to take this to whatever venue we might have found to express ourselves physically.
He moved my hair behind my ears. He grazed my cheek with his fingertips which was only compounding the issue. He touched me so delicately that it was like he was dealing with a fragile doll that would break with too much force.
“I know exactly what you’re feeling. Normally, I would take advantage of that. For some reason, I can’t do that with you. I won’t be able to look at myself in the mirror and respect myself in the morning. It’s not you. I’m fighting my natural instinct to kiss you with a passion that will cause you nothing but heartache. I want something different from this. I can’t play by the same rules when you have thrown the rule book out the window.” I could see that it was taking a lot for him to push me away.
I lie there looking up at him with his back towards me. He was obviously struggling and fighting the urge to be the man that I thought that he was. I would’ve taken one for the team just so that I could hold this over him and give him a reason to think that I was better than all the rest. I could seal the deal like I did with any transaction by using my sexuality. Getting him emotionally attached could only be accomplished by throwing caution to the wind. I tried to convince myself that I was only doing this as part of the job, but I knew deep down that there was more to it than that.
“You are a damn fool, but I think that it would be best not to take things too far. Just so you know; I would have done just about anything to please you. I don’t care what kind of act or depraved thought that you might have in your head. I would gladly strap on a pair of cuffs, put on a blindfold and let you ride me around the room like the pony express. You could put me into any position, treat me like I’m just a piece of ass and I would come back for more. Are you sure that you want to take this stand?” He looked over his shoulder and he shook his head like he couldn’t quite believe that he didn’t just grab the bull by the horns.
“It’s not fair and I’ve never felt this way before. I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t sleep the entire time that I was waiting for you to call. I know that I’m in deep. I’ve put on a brave face, but I’m powerless against you. I could just have my way with you and be done with it. It’s a pattern that I have to break. I don’t know why this is so hard. It’s always been easy and those girls that have come before you were merely misadventures.”
My heart was pumping with my palms sweaty and my eyes as big as saucers. I had to find a way to get rid of this pent-up energy and he was doing everything he could to push me away. I had only one other card to play.
“Make sure that you are doing the right thing. This could be all yours.” I proved to him that I was naughty by unzipping that dive suit and showing that I was wearing very little underneath. This was not my average underwear. This was something that I had pulled out as my big guns. I saw the way that he seductively lusted after me. The bra that I was wearing was the peek-a-boo variety with a gloss of strawberry to make me more of a sumptuous feast. The panties were made of some sort of gelatin.
“You can’t do this to me and you don’t know what you’re asking.” His words only fueled me into taking a hold of those rip away panties and tearing very slowly with his eyes never leaving my body the entire time. He paid particular attention to the landing strip that I had left. I began to think about how I had prepared for this evening. I loved his reaction and wanted him to show me the good soldier at full attention.
I don’t know how he did it, but he turned away and walked back to the hangar. I got into a sitting position. I looked after him and I couldn’t believe that he had the fortitude to step away from a sure thing. It was then that I knew that I was in trouble. This was not the same man that those girls had sent me after. I had gotten caught in a trap of my own making. I had no idea what love felt like, but I didn’t want to be away from him. I could only think about the next time that I would see him. I was hurting bad and I couldn’t do what I normally did. I wanted to, but I felt that sleeping with another would be cheating.
I got up and this time I tried to kiss him and he was the one to put his hands out to prevent me from doing so. “I need some time to think. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you are the devil’s spawn.” He got into his car and he drove away with me standing there while he looked at me in the side view mirror. This wasn’t a position that I was accustomed to. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to commit the cardinal sin of falling for one of my subjects.
BOOK 1 : LUST (PART 2)
Betrayal of the heart
Gillian West was a woman that knew how to play with a man’s feelings like a cat does with a mouse. She was confident in her abilities and had translated that talent into a lucrative career in sales. Being approached by three women to take down a suave and sophisticated man with no scruples was going to be her crowning achievement. She thought that she had all the answers, but Marshall had a way to change the questions. This was supposed to be an easy job, but being close to Marshall made her realize that she had been missing out on what love really was. She didn’t want to admit it and now she was in the inevitable task of trying to keep your feelings in check and doing what she was required to do by her clients. Can she really hurt him this way, or will she fall on her sword looking for redemption?
I’d given my word to give Marshall a dose of his own medicine, but now I was rethinking my situation. I thought of the way that we had left things a few days ago and I still couldn’t believe that he walked away without doing anything. I underplayed that significance with the girls. I told them that it was the other way around and that I wanted him to want me so badly that he wouldn’t be able to stand it any longer.
“I don’t know where you’re at, but you’re certainly not here with me. I’m sure that you have a lot on your plate, but don’t you think that for just this once that you can give me your undivided attention?” My best friend Jeremy was the one that gave me the insight into the male mind. I was sure that he was regretting it right about now. He was the one that helped me to learn how to navigate those choppy waters.
“I don’t know what has gotten into me. You came here looking for some advice and I haven’t even listened to what you have to say.” I wasn’t sure if I should tell him the truth, but he was the only one that I had never lied to in my life. I knew that he had a crush on me, but he really wasn’t my type. He had that intellectual look and I was looking for something more masculine with the very idea of getting them out of their clothes to be a presentation in itself.
“I thought that we were friends. I tell you that my girlfriend is seeing an ex-boyfriend that she hasn’t even thought about since high school and you don’t even say anything.” He was wearing his heart on his sleeve and I’d done nothing to encourage him or give him any kind of direction
He showed up quite unexpectedly. Seeing him with that downtrodden expression was a dead giveaway that things weren’t going exactly as planned with Stephanie. I thought that they were a mismatch. She was this gorgeous fashion runway model that flew around the globe jet setting with the rich and famous on the red carpet. He was a fairly good-looking guy, maybe 140 pounds, 5’7 and I had to admit that his eyes were the dictionary meaning of the windows to the soul.
“You know as well as I do that Stephanie can do better than you. I don’t mean that to be a slight against your manhood. I’m just saying that your jealousy has manifested into a paranoia that is going to get old quick for Stephanie. Don?
??t you think that she has had men fawning over her most of her life? She thought that you were different, less intimidated by her good looks and fame and here you are acting like a little bitch.” The one thing that we could count on from each other was that we would always shoot from the hip.
We were sitting in my kitchen and I was touching my lips wondering how I was going to think about the job. I had told the girls that I was going to let him stew for a few days, but that was not entirely true. I needed that time to give myself breathing room. I could barely sleep and I woke in a cold sweat with my hands running down over my body. I had visions of him dancing in front of me and fantasies so vivid that they almost felt like they were alive.
“The one thing that I don’t need you to tell me is that she can do better. I know that I’m just being stupid, but I can’t help to feel that I’m losing her. I’m just lucky that I don’t speak about this in front of her. She has already told me that it was refreshing that I was secure about myself.” He did put on a good façade, but underneath, he was still that insecure little boy that I had taken a liking to in high school.
“I implore you not to do anything that is going to ruin this. I just got you to stop sniffing around my door and I really don’t want to continue to metaphorically slap you with a newspaper like a scalded dog. It’s so much better that you are in a committed relationship.” I had my cup of coffee in both hands and I could see Marshall’s reflection in the swirl of the creamer that I had used to make it more palatable.
“I hated those days. We would go shopping and you would put on this display in frilly little things. I would pine like a lovesick teenager.” He had on his glasses making him look like Clark Kent, but there was really no superman underneath the exterior. I did notice since he had gotten with Stephanie that he was filling out.
“Stephanie won’t leave you and you have nothing to worry about. The only reason why you came over here is for me to pat you on the back and tell you that everything’s going to be OK.” I reached over and did that very thing. I could see the distaste in his eyes and it almost made me burst out laughing.
My fluffy white robe was wide open and the only thing that I was wearing was a sheer negligee that really didn’t leave much to the imagination. I was quite impressed that he wasn’t ogling me like a piece of meat. He had more on his mind than seeing me in my unmentionables. It was a bit of a slap in the face. I could always count on him to show me that my beauty had not waned and that my sexuality was still as hot as ever. It was kinda nice to have him stroking my ego, even though he was never going to get any further than watching me.
“I’m really glad that you’re here for me. I had no place to go. I couldn’t stay in that mansion all alone knowing that she was spending time with her ex-boyfriend. I made it sound like I was perfectly fine and that she didn’t have to worry about me going off half-cocked.” I needed somebody to ground me and make me realize how lucky I am.” I was slightly stunned by what I didn’t recognize upon him entering into my home. He was making an effort to be that pretty package for Stephanie. His body was becoming something that I might take an interest in.
She was that statuesque blonde with the kind of curves that had guys wanting to walk over hot coals to be with her. I knew the day that she took a shine to Jeremy that there had to be something wrong with her. It finally dawned on me that she saw him as the genuine article without being fake or trying desperately to get into her pants.