“I’m glad that you’re feeling better. You’re not the only one that has to deal with their love life. I haven’t been in this position in a long time. I don’t even want to mention his name and I promised myself that his memory would be expunged. All photographs have been destroyed and yet I find myself repeating old habits. I thought that part of me was dead, completely numb and that no man could ever break through the wall that I built.” One good turn deserved another. If he was going to cry in his beer for Stephanie, then I had every right to see how he felt about what was going on with me.
“I know that you’re only dangling the bait because you want me to take it. I’ll play along; even though I think that you’re being a bit more dramatic than necessary. Tell me what’s going on that has you in your own little world.” Since he had broached the topic, I figured that it was best to let the chips fall where they may.
“I’m not over exaggerating anything. I was hired to do a job. There is a secret that I have been hiding from you.” I turned to my laptop on the counter. I brought up the anonymous blog with the indiscriminate photos that I had taken of men in various states of undress. They did not show them in a good light unless you were looking for a cheap thrill at their expense. The captions were quite scalding. “I write this blog and my reputation for shaming men have got me in over my head.”
Jeremy was staring at the screen, pushing his glasses down, so that he could make out every single disgusting act that was being perpetrated. His eyes darted from me and then back to the screen again like he couldn’t quite believe that I was the woman responsible for destroying marriages.
“I don’t even want to begin to tell you how wrong this is. Butting into other people’s business will never end well. With that being said, I can see that something is bothering you and I would really like you to tell me what it is.” He was the most compassionate and caring man that I had ever met. I thought that he was above reproach and yet I knew that he was still a man and capable of being seduced by the opposite sex.
“I usually go after those that are married or involved, but this one is different. He’s none of those things, but he sleeps with just about anybody. He doesn’t care if they are married, but now I have been tasked to make him fall in love with me. Unfortunately, it backfired and I have feelings for him. I thought that I could overcome that obstacle by sleeping with him, but he…he…denied me.” Jeremy’s mouth was wide open in shock.
“You have to stop seeing this man. I’m not telling you anything that you don’t already know yourself. He has turned you into the very woman that you swore that you would never be again. I can only give you sound advice and it’s up to you to take it. I know that this is short and sweet, but I really do need to get to work. My boss is on a tirade and even though I do most of the work, he expects me to bend over backward to please him and the board of directors. Do yourself a favor, get some distance, find some perspective and give this man his walking papers. You’ve already said that you don’t do this for the money, so what exactly is stopping you from kicking him to the curb?” He didn’t give me a chance to answer and grabbed his brown suede coat. He put it on and went to the door.
I didn’t like the way that he spoke to me harshly and that only made me want him to sweat a little. I purposely bent over at the sink, my breasts announcing their presence and then I had what most would call a wardrobe malfunction.
His eyes bugged out of his skull as my breasts popped clear of the negligee. He turned and left almost tripping over his own feet and tongue. It made me smile to think that I still had that power to make a man feel like a little boy all over again.
I figured that I would take some of what Jeremy said and take it to heart. I did need to break free of the monotony of thinking about him every second of the day. He hadn’t tried to call me and I was not going to be the one to reach out first. I took myself shopping, doing some window browsing and seeing some interesting things that caught my eye.
I stopped on the sidewalk for a moment. I felt like somebody was watching me. I took off my sunglasses very slowly and turned quickly to catch who it was that was playing spy. I didn’t see anybody that was making a spectacle of themselves or standing out from the crowd. It really did feel like somebody was walking over my grave and the little hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end.
I started to use some of the training that I had gotten the courtesy of an online course in private investigation. For something that only cost me a few hundred dollars, it was entertaining and had a lot of good techniques to use in the field. The one that I had instituted was using the reflection of the glass of the shops to see if anything caught my attention.
I stood in front of this lingerie shop that I knew too well. I admired the mannequins and how delectable they looked in various pieces that would have most men standing at attention. I thought that I saw someone duck down an alleyway. I was letting my imagination run wild and it was getting the best of me. I was jittery and feeling like the only thing that was going to make me feel better was to give Marshall my body on a silver platter. I’d tried that already and he was purposely keeping me at arm’s length.
I went into the shop, fingered the merchandise and found myself gravitating to the dressing room with a few pieces that was going to make me feel like a supermodel in front of the mirror.
“It’s been a long time since you’ve come to see me. I was beginning to think that you forgot about me. Those pieces that you have are from a very private collection. They are one of a kind. I’m just saying that I’m giving you first right to buy them. You have the kind of body that would be perfect. Any guy in their right mind would feel weak at the knees. If you want to make an interesting impression and have them at your mercy, then I would go with the red one.” Tonya was the proprietor and she really did have a good eye for detail.
“I don’t know if I’m in the mood to buy, but I’m a sucker for something that makes me feel sexy. Every girl needs to feel like this. Give me a few minutes.” I saw her high heeled shoes underneath the door. I took off my clothes, stood naked and looked at myself from every angle to see any imperfections that I would have to work on. I had a bit more hip than most girls, but I saw no man pushing me out of bed because of it.
“Take all the time that you need, Gillian. You are one of my best customers. Don’t think for a second that I don’t know that you have been talking me up to the neighborhood. I’ve had some interesting customers as of late. They come in looking so shy, but they leave knowing that their husbands or significant other are going to rise to the occasion. I like giving women that empowerment and I think that is the main reason why I decided t
o open up the shop. I want to cater to women that want to feel sexy and know quality when they see it. I’ll be out front and I see that a few customers have come in. By all means, take your time and when you’re ready I’ll be more than happy to take your money.” I had several different play outfits, but I knew that I could never have enough.
I had on this black mesh teddy that would’ve made it so easy for Marshall to rip it off my nubile body with just his fingers. The mirror in the dressing room was biased and I needed to see myself without being tricked by the light or how the mirror perceived me. I could see my nipples as plain as day and the mesh was perfect for that teasing gesture, but also quite blatant in its simplicity.
I opened up the door and I came face to face with the man that had caused me all of this angst. Marshall was slapping his forehead. He was looking at me and then turning away. What I was wearing was making it difficult for him to contain his excitement.
“I hope to god that you haven’t been following me. I know that we haven’t seen each other in a few days, but that doesn’t mean that you can go around stalking me.” I remembered the way that I felt out on the street and now seeing him here seemed like a huge coincidence. I didn’t believe in coincidences.
“I’m not stalking you. I just happened to be in the area and I saw you go in here. I was going to wait for you to come out, but I need to get to a meeting in 20 minutes.” I did nothing to cover up and he was doing everything that he could not to stare directly into the sun. I had a feeling that he probably thought that he was going to burn alive if he were to give me any kind of attention.
“I thought that you made yourself very clear the other night. You don’t want me. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? I was throwing myself at you and you did nothing. I was contemplating getting elective cosmetic surgery.” It was a fleeting thought about using collagen in my lips and eyebrows to give me a more youthful look.
“I can’t believe that you would be so dense to think that I didn’t want you. It’s precisely the reason why I had to keep you away. I feel like there’s no escape from reality. I see you everywhere I go and even had an awkward moment with a girl that I pursued down the street only to realize that it wasn’t you. I’m lucky that she didn’t take any offense and call the authorities on me.” He still looked damn good and I had to do something to give myself that fighting edge. The only thing that I could think about was grabbing him by the hand, seeing that stunned look on his face and dragging him into the enclosure of the dressing room.
I closed it behind him, letting him smell the fragrance of my Chanel perfume. He was my captive audience. I could see that he was thinking that I was a sexual carnivore about to devour him whole.
“This is highly inappropriate, Gillian. I have a public image that I need to keep. If anybody were to get wind of what I’m doing here, then I might lose some lucrative contracts worth millions. Some of those companies are family friendly.” He had his hands to his side and most likely feeling like he didn’t know what to do with them without getting into trouble. He had no earthly idea about how far I was willing to go.
He tried to reach for the lock, but I used my high heel to stop him. My long and supple leg was now stretching the material of the mesh and giving him something more to look at than he bargained for.
“I have been aching for you ever since that night. I hunger for the taste of your lips and for the feel of your body pressed up against me. Nothing even matters anymore. The only thing that I can think about is that moment where you hover above me. To see you riding the wave of your own desire and letting the mattress take the blunt end of our bodies slamming up and down on top of it. You can’t tell me that what you see doesn’t give you ideas. Don’t you want to take a chance and be with a woman that knows you inside and out?” My high heeled shoe was against his hand and I ran my fingers lightly down that starched white shirt.
“This is not what I came in here for. I just wanted to apologize for the way that I acted. It felt like my chest was tightening and I thought for a moment that I was having some sort of attack.” His words were rushed and I could tell that his lip was quivering. My fingers were dancing along his body through his clothing.
“I find that it’s a very interesting predicament that we’re here together at this time. I know the owner personally. She wouldn’t even give us a raised eyebrow if we were to do something. I know that you can feel the temperature in this room rise dramatically.” I pulled on his power red tie and made him lean forward despite his misgivings.