“So, what really happened?”
I’m not sure what she’s talking about, and I give her a blank look.
“Between you and Vanessa? It can’t be the story that Josh and Stan told me. It sounded like something straight out of a movie,” she says.
“Can’t people in this family keep a secret?” I grumble.
“Not when it comes to one of us,” Janice says. “I don’t understand you, Logan. How can you let Vanessa walk out of your life so easily? Why won’t you fight for her?”
“Fight for her? We’re not living in the dark ages, sis. No wonder you don’t have a boyfriend if you walk around with such old-fashioned ideas.” I know what she means but I pretend to take it literally.
Janice blushes and my stare turns to one of astonishment. “You do have someone, don’t you?”
Her face turns a darker shade of pink. “Maybe but this is not about me. It’s about you. Why don’t you talk to her? Tell her how you feel.”
“And make myself look even more pathetic? Not happening.” I’ve replayed that evening more times than I can count. That had to be my lowest moment involving a woman.
“I used to think you were so strong,” Janice says.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“To me, you were the true example of a man’s man. Not Josh or Stan. You. Because you were in touch with your feelings, and you weren’t afraid to show your emotions.”
“See where that’s gotten me?” I say moodily. “What do you want me to do?”
“Go and tell her how you feel,” Janice says. “It can’t be worse than how you’ve been living. Nothing makes you happy anymore. Not even Emma and don’t deny it because I’ve been watching you.”
I don’t say anything because she’s right. Every day has been worse than the last. When I walked out of Vanessa’s cottage, I walked out of her future as well. In the time we were together, I had started to envision a future together. We would become one of those blended families that worked so well, like a well-oiled machine.
“She told me that she was dating her ex. Ivy’s father.”
“Then let her tell you again. I saw how you two were together. There has to be another explanation. Vanessa looked at you like a woman in love,” Janice says.
I had thought so too. Could we both have been wrong?
“What is the alternative, bro?” Janice continues. “A life of regrets? Asking yourself what might have happened if you’d opened your heart to her?”
The future seems so bleak without Vanessa in it. I’d been so sure that I would spend the rest of my life alone. And then Vanessa had blasted her way into my heart and brought a little girl along who had taught me what love was.
No. Janice was right. I was not going to give up my family without a fight. I stand up abruptly. “Can you stay with her until Fiona comes?”
“Yes of course. All the best, bro,” Janice says.
I kiss her forehead, stare at Emma for a few seconds and then I hurry out of the house. I’m hoping that Vanessa is at Lexi’s house. If not, I’ll hang around and wait for her. These days, she spends a lot of time at her sister’s place I suspect.
I sprint to Ace and Lexi’s house and I’m relieved when I see Vanessa’s car. I kill the engine and head to the front door. I ring the bell and seconds later, Lexi opens it.
She smiles at me. “I’ve never been so happy to see someone. Come on in, she’s in the kitchen,” Lexi says.
I find my way to the kitchen. Vanessa has her back to me. “Who was it?”
“It was me,” I say, and her shoulders stiffen and she slowly turns around.
In the old days, before this terrible rift came between us, I’d have gone to stand between her legs. Now, I stand a respectful distance away.
“Logan,” she says.
“Please don’t tell me to leave before I have my say,” I tell her quickly. I move closer so I can look into her beautiful chocolate brown eyes.
“I love you, Vanessa Allen and I can’t live without you and Ivy. I don’t know what’s going on, but I know and trust you. I know you cannot compromise your values and integrity to be with a cheater. Tell me that I’m right, Vanessa.” I hate that my voice has a pleading tone but being so close to her, looking at her, smelling her…it hits me hard how very much I love her.
She covers her mouth as if stifling a scream. “After all that you still love me?”
“I’ll always love you, Vanessa, no matter what.”
“I don’t deserve this,” she says and breaks down.
In one step, I’m next to her pulling her into my arms. “Don’t cry, babe. Please don’t cry.”
She fists my shirt and cries as if her heart is breaking. I don’t know how long we stay in the position but when she stops crying, she tells me everything. I want to march to Gabriel’s house and teach him a lesson with my fists.