“No, I crawled in because they spooked you.”
“I’ve always loved the storms,” I said with a giggle. “You were the one who couldn’t handle the thunder.”
“I’ve launched rocket launchers, Michelle. I can handle a bit of thunder.”
“Now maybe, but not when you were a teenager,” I said with a grin.
The two of us sat there with our fishing rods and fell into a comfortable silence. Nick caught a couple and helped me reel in one, causing the boat to rock with a bit of excitement. I knew he’d scale and debone the fish for dinner that night. And there was nothing like the fish my brother fried up in my mother’s kitchen. My mouth watered at the thought of it as he caught yet another fish, tossing it into our water bucket to take back with us.
“How was it, being in the military?” I asked.
I could tell something was on my brother’s mind, and I wanted him to know he could talk with me.
“At first, I thrived,” he said. “The structured environment was exactly what I needed. And because of it, I excelled in everything I did. I enjoyed learning new skills and seeing so many place I could’ve never dreamed of.”
“But—?” I asked.
“But combat. It’s—”
I reached out and took his hand as he drew in a deep breath.
“Covert Ops isn’t glamorous. It’s not like what you see on television, Michelle. So many lines of my moral code blurred in that job. And there were missions we ran where I couldn’t see the point. Or the end. Like this last one.”
I squeezed his hand and tried to keep my tears at bay.
“I no longer felt like I was making a difference. I feel like the same person, but I see the world differently. And slowly, I started to feel like I didn’t belong in it.”
“Nick,” I said.
“Not like that. Not like, you know, suicidal or anything. But the world became unrecognizable.”
“Well, maybe you are a little different. And that’s fine. No one would ever blame you for that. People change, especially when they’re thrown into the kind of situations you’ve been in. You can’t be so hard on yourself, Nick.”
I watched him nod as his eyes panned over to me, but then he pinned me with his gaze. That icy blue stare that made him look like a madman with his buzzed blonde hair. He did that whenever he didn’t want to talk anymore. And I knew what was coming. He was about to flip this entire conversation back over to me, which meant answering some very hard questions.
“Now, I want to hear about this little adventure you had after high school,” Nick said.
“So, Mom filled you in on me running off,” I said.
“I may or may not have done some digging on my own.”
“I was wondering why you didn’t flinch at some of the details I already gave you.”
“You’re my little sister. And I have a very particular set of skills that make me a very dangerous man. You don’t get anywhere without my knowing it, and you don’t interact with anyone without me digging into who they are.”
“Uh huh. Well, you can drop the intimidation act. I won’t hide from your questions,” I said with a grin.
But something in his stare told me he was telling me the truth.
“Then start from the beginning. What happened, Michelle?”
His eyes fell to my stomach again, and this time he didn’t try to hide the movement.
“I mean, I told you a bit of it already. I wanted a change of pace. A way out of this stupid town.”
Nick chuckled and the sound blanketed me in a great deal of comfort.
“I felt the same way after high school. It’s why I enlisted.”