“I thought you always wanted to be in the military,” I said.
“I did. I still do. But I still had other reasons. Like getting out of this shitty place. It made me feel trapped. I wanted adventure and a life outside of Williston.”
“I know. Trust me, I know. And now you want to know how my adventure turned out.”
“I do,” he said.
“I guess me being back six months later tells you all about that,” I said bitterly.
“Don’t make me drag this out of you. Tell me what happened, Michelle.”
“Andy was an asshole. You know, the guy that asked me to go home with him after he lost his job. In the back of my mind, I kind of always knew he was an asshole. But I was willing to overlook it for the thrill of it all. But once we got to Stillsville, Illinois, Andy stayed unemployed and found plenty of time to nitpick me and sleep around with other women.”
“What a pathetic little fucker,” my brother said.
“Eventually, he kicked me out.”
“He what now?”
“Yeah. It was a massive fight after he came home drunk one night from the bar. The sickening thing is, I went back to him after that. But during that time where I didn’t know what to do with my world, an older man in town hired me to help take care of his property.”
“Hold up. What older man?”
“His name was Anton Volk. He died a few weeks ago.”
A healthy dose of sadness settled in my gut and forced tears to my eyes.
“I’m sorry, Michelle. Were the two of you—?”
“No, no, no,” I said, as I wiped at my eyes. “Nothing like that. I guess he took pity on my situation or something and let me stay with him. He had this massive piece of property on the outskirts of town and needed help with the upkeep, so he paid me a decent wage to work for him. My gosh, that man was so nice. And so caring. He always talked to me with the kindest words and was always willing to cook and listen to me jabber on about my pathetic life.”
My jaw quivered as my brother wrapped his arm around my waist. He pulled me close to him and my head fell onto his shoulder.
“I know it’s not easy losing someone,” Nick said.
“That’s not even the worst part,” I said with a sniffle. “When I went back to Andy and tried to fix things, he practically tried to force himself on me one night after coming home drunk. I packed up my stuff and left, and went to Anton’s place. I met his godson, Grayson. And we just—”
I sighed and closed my eyes, no longer knowing how the hell to continue with my story.
“Where is this Grayson guy now?” Nick asked.
His hand fell onto my stomach, intuiting so much about my story without me having to say a word. But I couldn’t tell him anymore. I couldn’t tell him what Gray had done. That I was pregnant. That, yet again, I’d been left behind by some asshole that didn’t think anything of me. But more than that, I couldn’t admit to my brother that I couldn’t get Gray off my mind. That every night since he’d left me in Anton’s house, I’d dreamed of him. That I was wishing him to appear so we could fix things. I couldn’t stop missing him, and it made me feel terrible.
It made me look pathetic against the war hero I now supported myself on.
“I’m sorry,” I said breathlessly. “I’m being selfish.”
But Nick tightened his grip on me the second I tried to move away.
“You’re staying here until you get it all out,” he said.
And as he kissed the top of my head, I unleashed all of my tears. My shoulders shook with my sobs and tears flooded his shirt as we sat there in the middle of the lake. My heart bled all over the floor of the boat as my body quaked against my brother’s.
As much as I wanted to smack Gray across the face, anything was better than not having him around at all.
I hated that I felt that way after everything he had accused me of.
Chapter 7