* * * *
Jessy was frustrated by her slow recovery. Most of all, she was sick of being stuck in a hospital room. It had been four days and she wanted to go home. They allowed her to walk for short periods of time with a nurse by her side. She was used to being active. The room was filled with flowers and balloons and she had visitors often. Martin had stopped by once while Royce was there, and Royce had been cold and unfriendly with him. Martin seemed amused and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “I think someone has a secret admirer.” Jessy asked Royce to give her a moment alone with Martin. Royce looked like he was going to argue but he turned and left the room. Martin let out an exaggerated sigh of relief. “That man has feelings for you, Jessy, and I see the same emotions in your eyes.”
“It’s complicated,” she whispered.
“If you need a friend to talk to call me but I think my being around may complicate things for you. Don’t let love slip through your hands, Jessy, for whatever reason.” He looked sad and she knew he was still thinking of his wife. She grabbed his hand. “Thank you, Martin. You are a wonderful man who will meet the right woman.” He smiled and kissed her lips lightly. “Bye, Jessy. Take care of yourself.”
Even Gabe and his mom had come by a few times with her dad. Lucia was very nice and had brought her a lot of fashion magazines.
She noticed an attraction between Lucia Martinez and her dad. He looked at Lucia with longing when she wasn’t paying attention, then he would cover it when she looked his way. A few times she had seen the soft way Lucia looked at her father and thanked him for taking Gabe in at the gym.
Jessy liked Lucia and if she had to lay in bed bored, she would have to do some matchmaking, she told herself with a smile. It was time her dad did something besides devote himself to work.
“What’s that mischievous smile about?” A voice startled her out of her daydream.
She turned to see Royce in the doorway. He came by every afternoon during his lunch break, even though she told him it wasn’t necessary. She hated being responsible for delaying Blake’s promotional tour, even though her dad assured her over and over that they were following her schedule to the very letter. Everyone was pitching in, so she wouldn’t worry. She felt blessed with her odd family.
“Nothing, why?” she asked, trying to look innocent. His presence unnerved her. He never spent this much time with her before and it confused her.
“You look like you’re up to something,” he observed, throwing himself down on the chair next to her bed. “It’s a scary thought.”
She would have laughed but she knew laughing made her chest hurt. Breathing made her chest hurt. The doctor assured her she was well on the way to recovery, but she felt every little move she made. She tried to sit up more and winced when it hurt.
“Let me help you, Jessy,” Royce offered right away. He lifted up her pillows and fixed them so she was sitting up.
“Thanks,” she whispered. She could smell his cologne when he leaned down, and she closed her eyes, wishing she had the right to hook her arms around his neck and kiss him until
they both couldn’t breathe.
She still ached for him so much and wondered when it would ever go away. “So how are things at work? Everything okay?”
He nodded and sat down in the chair. “I don’t want you to worry about work, Jessy. Your only job is to get better. Sam and Blake said they will be by later on tonight. Tom is working them to the bone. The gym hasn’t fallen to the ground.”
“I miss being at the gym every day. Sitting here is boring. Then I have to go home and be bored for God knows how long.” She knew she sounded like a whiny little girl, but she wasn’t used to being so still with nothing to do.
Royce grabbed her hand and immediately she felt herself calm down. Why him? Out of all the men in the world, she had to fall for the playboy.
He cleared his throat and looked into her eyes. “What happened that day, Jessy? I told you to stay inside because I wanted you safe.”
“I know, Royce, but when I saw him pull a gun out of his jacket and point it at your back I didn’t think, I reacted. You were busy fighting with the guy in front of you. My only thought was to warn you. I never thought he would turn the gun towards me,” she explained and closed her eyes, remembering that moment. She could not bear to lose Royce. Even if they always remained just friends, she needed him. “Thanks for saving my life, Jessy. I hate that you got hurt, though. Every time I close my eyes I see you falling to the ground. I’m not sure I’ll ever forget that.” She could hear the agony in his voice and she had to blink back tears.
“I’m okay, Royce, as you can tell by my whining.” She gave him a small smile to reassure him.
“I have been doing a lot of thinking about us.” His voice was hesitant and she waited patiently for him to say thank you again. She didn’t want his gratitude. The one thing she wanted from him was the one thing he was not capable of giving her. Love.
“Jessy, I know I messed things up between us. I let the past rule me and that was wrong of me. Do you think you could give us another chance?”
Jessy sighed. She wished she could believe that he really had a change of heart. It was probably just the trauma of seeing her shot that was making him talk this way. Maybe he was grateful and mistook that for real feelings for her.
“Royce, I think you feel a lot of gratitude and maybe some guilt, even though it wasn’t your fault. I made the decision to run out there and I don’t regret it for one minute. I don’t want you to be with me out of misplaced guilt or gratitude. If you had feelings for me, you would never have flirted with that groupie. Not after our night together.”
“I didn’t sleep with her, Jessy. I sent her away after you left the party. I went home by myself and sat by the phone, hoping you would call to tell me off,” he admitted. “I felt ashamed but I was too stubborn and stupid to admit I had feelings for you.”
“I have pride too, Royce. You made your decision loud and clear,” she stated firmly. She couldn’t give in. Later when she was better and he got over his guilt, he would want his freedom. She did not want to open her heart up for more pain. “Once I’m on my feet again and things are back to normal, you’ll regret making a commitment to me, and I can’t face being hurt again.”
He stood up and leaned over her bed. He pushed the hair out of her face and leaned down to kiss her lips lightly. “I guess I can’t expect you to believe me right away, but I’ll prove it to you, Jess. I got to get back to work. Just think about us, Jessy.”
After he left she lay there wishing she could believe his feelings had changed, but she was too scared to reach out for him again. Being vulnerable hurt. It was a scary feeling knowing someone else held the power to crush you in their hands. How did people fall in love and survive? Love was scary and delicate.