Welcome to Hell: Rediscovering First Love

“How hard?” I asked giving my sister a teasing look.

“Too hard,” she replied.

“Wynne, where’s Nana?” Gem asked.

“She’s coming.”

Wynne had a hint of excitement in her voice that I wondered about but didn’t have time to question as my mother entered the room on my father’s arm slowly but with her head held high and looking more beautiful than I would have expected after seeing her upon her arrival today.

A collective gasp filled the air.

My mother demurely touched the area near her head and looked down at the floor self-consciously. “Doesn’t it look all right?” She asked.

“Yancy, where did you get it?” Gem asked.

“You insisted that you didn’t want a wig,” Adin said simultaneously.

“I think it’s beautiful. Very near to her real hair,” Wynne said. Wynne had known about Yancy’s wig.

“Where did you get it?” I asked my mother softly. The wig looked beautiful on my mother.

She smiled at me with tears in her eyes. “Your daughter,” she replied. “She saw it in a store in the mall. She told me that she couldn’t resist because my hair had always been something she loved most about me. She wanted me to wear it for just tonight,” my mother explained in a soft tone.

“She let me know that she loves me bald or with hair but tonight was special and if I didn’t mind wearing it she would love it. She helped me with my make-up too.”

She was Yancy again with fire in her eyes and on her head. The cut of the wig was similar to the style that Yancy had always worn.

“Do you mind?” I asked my mother.

I was hoping that Keegan hadn’t hurt my mother’s feelings.

She scrutinized me closely before answering. “No,” she replied with strength in her voice. “I understand why she needed this.”

#

In the gymnasium at Eden High School I glanced about nervously. Kerry and I hadn’t been able to find Keegan and had to go to our seats without seeing our daughter before graduation. My family waited for me in the reserved seating saving two seats for us. Kerry sat next to Wynne, I sat next to him and Yancy was on the end of the row by me in the aisle so she would have the best view of Keegan when she walked down the center aisle. My sisters and their spouses were seated after Wynne. Virgil and Littie were on the end of the row after my sisters. They were like family to Keegan and I making some of the time more bearable with James taunting and abusing us. Pop sat in the row first seat behind Yancy.

Yancy squeezed my hand lovingly. “She’ll be fine,” she said.

“I just wanted to tell her…”

“She knows Gabrielle. Keegan knows better than anyone how proud you are of her. You have supported that child no matter what. She knows.”

The ceremony began to the soft strums of a freshman girl from the high school band playing the harp while the graduates entered two by two. Keegan having the last name of McCoy entered in the middle of the pack, halfway through the procession about fifteen minutes into the ceremony. I saw her in the back of the room and gasped out loud. Several people looked at me. Kerry put his hand on my shoulder. Yancy looked at me and smiled.

How could she? I thought to myself. On this the most special day of her life my daughter had died her hair the brightest neon blue I had ever seen. I wanted to cry. Yancy squeezed my hand reassuringly this time.

“It’s okay Gabrielle. You’ll see.” My mother said this so mysteriously that I couldn’t take my eyes from her face. She had known about this and why hadn’t she stopped her when she had been her biggest detractor.

I was so shocked that the camera in my free hand remained unused. The remainder of my family had the forethought to take pictures though for which later I was grateful when the shock wore off and I understood Keegan’s motives.

The speech by the Principal of the school was a blur to me. I had thought Keegan had outgrown the need to prove to the world that she could be different and be a good person. I thought she was secure in herself that she no longer needed to prove anything to anyone. I sat there fretting about my daughter’s blue hair wondering what the other parents were thinking when I heard her name called to the podium to give her valedictorian speech.

I focused my attention on her and her blue hair barely holding back tears as she proudly walked to the podium where she shook the principal’s hand.

“It could be worse,” Kerry whispered in my ear wrapping his arm around my shoulder comforting me.

“How?” I snapped.