Welcome to Hell: Rediscovering First Love

“Ah shit,” I was holding my sister’s hand while the water continued to gush from me. At least it felt like it was gushing. A waterworks of amniotic fluid pooling at my feet soaking my sandals. I love these sandals too.

“What?” Adin asked unable to see my feet.

“My water broke,” I replied softly trying to keep calm. I looked at her. She looked back at me and we both looked scared out of our minds.

“You can’t have the baby here,” Adin said panicking.

I laughed out loud imagining me lying on the sidewalk, feet in the air, vagina bared for all of Hell to see and Adin telling me to push and then another contraction nearly brought me to my knees. A gasp of pain escaped me and I was no longer laughing. I grabbed her hand holding on for dear life.

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“You’re hurting my hand,” Adin squeaked. I was grasping her hand so tightly in mine while I breathed through the pain.

“Let’s walk,” I told my sister in a less than calm voice, when the pain eased guiding my sister back towards the direction we had come closer to our parent’s home. Closer to help.

We had gone more than half way around the block. We were a little over a mile from home and I didn’t want to waste any time getting back. I could feel pressure building in the region of my pelvis. Pressure telling my body to push this baby out now. Another contraction stopped our forward progression.

“I want to push,” I told her.

“Don’t you dare,” Adin squealed. “Walk faster.” She was trying to push me then she was trying to pull me as I resisted against the pain in my belly and pelvis.

“I can’t walk faster,” I shouted at her nervously. I breathed through the pain.

In this part of Hell only Pop and Yancy’s house was close and it was still a good mile away. The next house was a mile in the other direction. Adin held my hand with one hand and had her other arm wrapped around my waist guiding me trying to push me, pull me along while I had a pretty damned hard contraction.

“Stop that,” I yelled at her shoving her away from me.

“Breathe,” she said. “Why the hell didn’t you stay home?”

“I am breathing dammit. I’m sorry I didn’t stay home. How the hell was I supposed to know that walking a mile would cause the labor to really speed up?”

“Your contractions were probably more regular that you realized dumbass.”

“Adin, I’m not fucking stupid,” I shouted. “I think I know how far apart they were.”

Maybe I really didn’t. I was so exhausted. Hang on little one. You can’t come out now.

“Didn’t Keegan come quickly?” We started walking again. My sister was concentrating on each step that we took that would ultimately bring us closer to home. Pushing me. Pulling me closer to someone who could help us. We weren’t really getting far. We looked like we were playing tug of war with me as the rope. It was like an episode of I Love Lucy.

“Yes she did but not this quick. God, we have to stop.” I gasped for air trying to take as much as I could into my lungs. I wanted to squat down and pop this kid out onto the sidewalk the pressure was so great in my pelvis. I was biting on my lip, gritting my teeth. Trying anything to get through the pain.

“Why?”

“Because I’m having another contraction,” I nearly screamed. Bent over at the waist. Hands on hips, legs spread apart, panting. I waited for the pain to pass then I said, “Keegan came within two hours once the contractions started. The doctor was surprised at how quickly she arrived considering she was my first baby.” Babbling was a nervous habit of mine. “I can’t go any further.”

“Gabby, don’t do this to me.” My sister sounded terrified. “I can’t deliver your baby here on the sidewalk.”

I really couldn’t go any further. I wasn’t kidding when I said I wanted nothing more than to push.

“You better leave me here and go get Kerry and the car.” I was scared now because I really, really wanted to push. It was taking all my strength to not push.

“I’m not leaving you here alone.” I could tell she thought I had lost my mind from the look of total shock on her face.

“Who the hell do you think will bother me? We live in Hell. Run,” I told Adin fighting the urge to push while I tried to take another step. One more step closer to home between contractions but not nearly close enough. I could only manage baby steps. “Or you,” I emphasized poking her shoulder, “will be delivering this baby on this very street.”

All alone on the darkened street, I watched my sister run to the corner lose a flip flop, stop to get it and then thought better of it. She proceeded to kick off the other flip flop before she picked up speed and disappeared into the darkness. I hadn’t had to repeat myself. There was no way she was going to deliver my child on the street corner in Hell. I tried to take small steps but the pressure was intense. I cursed myself for taking this walk. I cursed Kerry for making me pregnant. I cursed God at that moment for making women have babies instead of men. I gritted my teeth against the pain.

The contractions were so far apart weren’t they? I hadn’t been concerned about taking the walk when I finally got out of bed too frustrated to sleep. Or so I had thought. Now I wasn’t so sure. Maybe they were closer than I had realized? Maybe Adin was right. Damn, I hope she’s faster than she was in high school or I will be delivering this baby myself. Breathing deeply I kept taking small steps. Minute, little, tiny baby steps. It was something but not much.