Ben (The Sherwood)

I patted her gently remembering that Mom said I wasn’t doing it hard enough. I sighed and patted just a little harder until she belched like a true Hatfield.

“That’s my girl,” I told her. Then I laid her back in my arms and gave her the rest of the bottle. “I don’t know how I feel anymore, Asia. Your mommy she tore me apart. She lied to me. Then, I kissed her cousin in the men’s restroom at Ike’s. Mommy’s cousin has had me on a short leash for a long time. She just doesn’t know it.”

I glanced at my daughter sucking away on her bottle. “I can talk to you now because you can’t understand. When you’re older I won’t say anything or do anything that will make you feel badly about your mommy.”

I knew that one day I would somehow need to make Asia understand that Jasmine had no choice. I would explain to her about her mother’s difficult life. Between my mother, Danni and Jenny she would be surrounded by female love so maybe she wouldn’t feel so lost without her own mother.

I lifted her and kissed her forehead. The bottle slipped out of her mouth and she fussed at me once again. “Sorry, Daddy will leave you alone, so you can enjoy your bottle.”

I rocked the recliner while I gave Asia her bottle. Soon I was sound asleep holding my baby in my arms.

**

“Hey, Ben. Ben, you overslept. You fell asleep in the recliner.”

I jolted awake and jumped up nearly dropping Asia. “Don’t do that to me,” I snapped at Seth. “What time is it?”

“Nine o’clock.”

“Shit,” I shouted. “I should be there now. Take Asia.”

“Sure, what do you want me to do with her?” Seth asked. He rocked my daughter back and forth, making silly faces at her while I ran down the hall to my bedroom shouting at him to get her clothes changed.

“But Ben, I’ve never changed a diaper before.”

“Neither had I until a week ago,” I informed him then slammed the bedroom shut so I couldn’t hear his protests any longer. “You’ll learn,” I said to the closed door. “Like I did.”

Tim had called worried that I had wrecked on the way to work since I had been so exhausted. I called him right away and explained that I had fallen asleep in the recliner when I got up with Asia at three.

“Ben, take a sick day. You’re dead on your feet. It’s Friday. We have everything under control. Most new fathers around here got some time off. You need this to bond with Asia and get some rest.”

I sat on the edge of the bed defeated, feeling like I was failing my child and my work. I started to protest. “Ben, I said take today off. Take Monday too if you need it. Like I said, most new fathers take some time off. You deserve it. You work hard for us and we appreciate it.”

“I feel like a failure, Tim,” I admitted.

“Don’t. We love you. Your performance has been above excellence since we hired you. We aren’t going to can you for taking a few days. We prefer that you not kill yourself on the highway. Spend some time with your new daughter. Get her into a routine. Your sister-in-law said she slept like a dream before you brought her home. Work on getting her to sleep through the night again or at least sleeping better.”

“Have any tips for that?” I asked him, rubbing my face. I heard Asia crying in the other room even through the closed door. I really, just wanted to cry with her.

“Talk to your sister-in-law. Find out what you are missing, Ben. You’ll be fine.”

“Thanks, Tim. Gotta go. Seth has Asia and she’s crying.”

He chuckled. “Rescue her, would you?” He knew my brother, Seth. A good guy, but a dumbass.

“Yeah, no kidding.”

I hung up and laid the phone back on the nightstand. Then I headed back to the living room. Seth had Asia undressed. Her wet diaper was on the floor. He was trying to make the clean one stick, but the tabs kept coming undone and it looked like he had used clear tape too to try to make the diaper stay on.

I watched him for a moment before I asked, “What are you doing?”

He didn’t look up at me. “I put it on backwards first. I realized the blue line was not supposed to go up her butt.”

“No, it is not,” I agreed.

“Then,” he gave up and took the diaper off. “I tore one of the tabs, so I tried taping it back on when you didn’t have any more diapers out here. Could you get me another one?” He asked.

“Sure,” I turned and headed down the hallway. Only to hear him shout, “Not on the sofa, Asia.” I ignored him and headed straight for my bedroom where the extra diapers were.