Ben (The Sherwood)

I leaned over and took a diaper out of the box of diapers that Mom brought with her from the store when she picked up a tub, dresser and a car seat. Babies, I realized went through a massive amount of diapers. I thought maybe Asia and I would go to the store today and get diapers. Boxes of them. Then we were heading to Auntie Jenny’s for a talk.

I went back to the living room where I found my naked daughter in my brother’s arms. Her head tucked under his chin. A disgusted look on his face.

“Well I need to change clothes and the sofa has a wet spot,” he said.

I just nodded. At this point, I was too tired to care.

I took Asia from him and went to the other end of the sofa. I cleaned her with a wipe. We kept them all over the house now. Both bathrooms were stocked with them. The kitchen and the living room and my bedroom had a package of them too. Then I put the clean the diaper on her.

I looked up to find Seth watching me. “What?”

“You’re doing good,” he said.

“How would you know?” I chuckled at his clueless observation.

“She’s survived a week with us. She’s seems pretty content too.”

Other than getting up in the night she did seem happy. I tucked her against me. I could hold her in one arm she was so small. That was the other

thing I thought that seemed like Jasmine. Her size.

We had a doctor’s appointment on Monday. I needed to remind Tim of that. I would text him later about that one or maybe I would just take off Monday too, then I could take Asia to the doctor and spend more time with her trying to get her on track, so I could get more sleep.

I touched her tiny feet and realized that Asia was cold. “Seth, hand me Asia’s blanket behind you.”

“Why did she name her Asia?” He handed me the blanket and I wrapped her in it to keep her warm.

“I don’t know. I like it though.”

“She has your last name. Did you know that?”

I chuckled at my brother. “I did know that. Mom informed me of that right after she was born.” She had also informed me that she was encouraging Jasmine to take me to court for child support.

I had to admit that stung. I had paid all her medical bills. I wasn’t shirking my responsibility. I just hadn’t gotten over the lie that Jasmine had told me and the suspicion that maybe she wasn’t on birth control. I still wondered if she had gotten pregnant on purpose.

She seemed fragile. Alone. Lonely. She was innocent and eager. All these things about her attracted me. Things I wanted to recapture that I lost with Disa.

She wasn’t like the other women I took home. I could feel her inexperience and shyness and I liked that about her. I liked Jasmine just not enough. I sighed. I wanted her but that niggling little worm in my head kept saying I liked her a lot because she reminded me of the woman I really wanted and couldn’t have.

“Do you mind so much now that she’s here, Ben?” Seth asked distracting me from my thoughts.

I glanced at the baby in my arms then at my brother. “No Seth, I don’t mind at all.”

“I’m glad. She’s really cute.”

I laughed at him. “Thanks. Seth, have you been with a woman yet?” I asked remembering what Mom had said about my brother the day of Granddad’s funeral.

My brother was a lot like Jasmine. Sweet, kind and downright innocent. That’s how Jameson had taken advantage of him which caused Danni to get hurt.

He was embarrassed, and I knew without him responding that he hadn’t been. I didn’t know what he was waiting for. He was twenty-five now.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed Seth,” I told him.

He nodded. “I listened to what Granddad said. I mean really listened and I decided that I wanted what he had with Grammy. I’ve seen what Matt and Layla had too. I even stayed with him some as a kid, you know before I screwed up,” he explained.

Seth was looking at his hands clasped between his knees not at me. I could tell that he was uncomfortable with this conversation, but he didn’t need to be. It was me. His big brother. I wasn’t going to make him feel bad about being a virgin. “Before Layla didn’t like me anymore,” Seth added.

I realized that Layla leaving hurt Seth not like it had hurt Matt. My brother was destroyed by her, but it had hurt Seth too. When they started dating Seth was only five. I remembered now how they used to take him places with them to get him out of Mom’s hair. Layla was sweet to Seth. He was the only brother that she was ever truly kind to.