Ben (The Sherwood)

Love like he had with Grammy, I wasn’t sure existed anymore except with girls like Disa Riley. I knew she was honest and caring. She would have been a good woman for me like my Grammy was to Granddad. I had thrown it away by hurting her twice now.

I thought Jasmine was like Disa, but she was like every other girl. She lied to me about her age and maybe about being on birth control and it hurt. No matter what I was before I was with Jasmine, I was always honest with every woman I had slept with and there weren’t as many as the townspeople of Sherwood liked to gossip about.

“I am different,” I agreed.

“What happened?” She asked.

“When did you talk to Jasmine last?” I watched her shake the bottle.

“Could I give it to her?” She asked.

I got up and walked to her side of the booth. I bent over to give her Asia and our eyes met. She had the most amazing, crystal, blue eyes. I had forgotten how beautiful they were when I was this close to them. They were almost colorless with just a hint of blue like a perfect topaz. They were gorgeous. I looked away first and handed her my daughter.

She settled the baby in her arms and stuck the bottle in her mouth. Then she looked at me. “I haven’t talked to her since Asia was born. I got a picture of her, from Danni sent at Jasmine’s request but this is the first time I’ve seen her in person.”

That surprised me. I could see the hurt in Disa’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” I said unsure of what else to say to her.

“It’s not your fault. Jasmine thought I had something to do with you not coming around her after she told you she was pregnant.”

“What?” I remarked as I slid into the booth.

She nodded. “I didn’t help her try to sway you, so she thought I had something to do with you not being in her life.”

I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Disa.”

She gazed at Asia. “Me too.”

The server came to our table and took our drink order. I knew what I wanted and so did Disa. Of course, she ordered healthy. A grilled chicken club sandwich, no mayo. I ordered a double cheeseburger with everything. I had a cast iron stomach now. Who knew how it would be when Asia was grown, and I had to worry about her being with boys and getting into trouble.

Then we were back to that awkward silence until Disa asked me, “Ben, why Jasmine? What was so special about her?”

I couldn’t tell her that part of Jasmine’s appeal was that she reminded me of her, so I skirted around the obvious. “Her innocence was appealing, but yet she had this free, spirited soul that I loved.”

“Did you love her?” Her eyes were wide and interested, waiting for my response.

“I didn’t. I slept with her and got scared. So, I ran.” I couldn’t tell her that I got scared because of my feelings for her. I couldn’t do that to her or to us. It wasn’t fair. She had been through enough because of me.

“You took Jasmine on dates though. You never date,” she declared. She was right about that. Before Jasmine, Disa was the last person I had dated, six years ago.

I nodded.

“You never date anyone. You sleep with women. Not date them. She’s only been with one other man. I thought the whole thing with me,” she hesitated like it might still hurt that I had broken up with her, “I thought maybe you broke it off with me because of my innocence but that attracted you to Jasmine.” She was confused.

“You work for Dad,” I told her.

Her eyes met mine. I really wanted to grab Asia and run. This conversation was making me twitchy. I never wanted to hurt Disa, but I couldn’t let her know that once, I was falling in love with her as much as she might have been with me.

This would get us nowhere right now. The woman still worked for my dad and I didn’t think that he would like me starting a relationship with her now anymore than he did then. Besides, how could she forgive me for being with her cousin. Someone she was close to.

Disa shook her head at me. Then she took the bottle out of Asia’s mouth and put her up on her shoulder to burp her. She pounded her back much harder than I would. I frowned.

“What Ben?”

“Isn’t that a little hard?” I asked.

Asia let out a burp that could be heard two booths down. The couple sitting there turned and chuckled at us. “Nope, that wasn’t too hard. I babysat children at the compound from the time I was twelve years old. Certified in life saving for infants to toddlers. It would do you good to take a course too.”

I’d keep that in mind.