In my bedroom, Disa still slept on her side looking like the angel she was that was too good for me. I took a breath. I had never just slept with a woman except for her once or twice when we were too tired to be tempted. So many memories were slamming me in the face right now while I stared at her sleeping so peacefully.
I could go to the living room and sleep on the sofa or I could crawl into bed with this woman and hold her in my arms. The need to be near her was strong. My heart won over my head which was telling me to get my ass to the sofa and sleep there.
I went to the bed and slid beneath the comforter beside Disa. As if it was the most natural thing in the world to her, Disa curled up next to me. “I’m cold, Ben,” she whispered.
It was cooler tonight at the end of October, the weather could go either way in fall and October had been a cool month so far. Disa knew exactly where she was and what she wanted.
“I’ll warm you right up,” I promised her. She laid her head on my chest. Her cheek rested near my heart and her palm laid flat against my sternum. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. She snuggled closer to me.
So much for sleeping tonight, I thought as her body fit with mine. I was wrong.
Her warmth surrounded me. Comforted me. Soon I was sleeping too with her wrapped around me. Her hair spread over my arm and tickled my face during the night. Shit, I didn’t care. I had Disa in my arms.
That hair is what woke me in the morning not Asia who usually cried by seven a.m. Disa stirred. She realized where she was. Her foot moved up and down my bare, hairy, leg. She moaned. I almost did. Then she rolled to her back.
She peeked at me from beneath those thick lashes with a sleepy-eyed look. She grinned sheepishly at me. “Good morning,” she said.
“Morning,” I replied. The huskiness of my voice didn’t hide the need I was feeling.
She was so close to me that I could smell her scent like honeysuckle. It reminded me of the flowers behind Granddad’s farmhouse. She always smelled sweet or like flowers. I closed my eyes for a second and inhaled her. I wanted to imprint her scent on my brain in case I didn’t get this opportunity again.
That’s when Asia let out her usual, I’m up and ready for a diaper change and a bottle, cry. “Let me get her,” Disa suggested.
I opened my eyes. I stared into hers. I wanted to move to get my daughter. My thoughts were running rampant. I wanted to roll this woman to her back and make love to her. I wanted to show Disa Riley what she was missing. The blood from my brain went straight to my cock.
Probably a good idea she was moving to get Asia because right now, I needed a moment to calm down. I bent my leg to cover the obvious need I was feeling. Some of it was plain and simple, morning wood and some of it was desire for the woman who slid out of my arms and headed for the bedroom door to get Asia.
I wanted her.
It wasn’t possible, I told myself.
But I wanted her my body told me even if my head kept saying that it was a bad idea.
She was still off limits as far as Dad and Rachel were concerned.
I told myself it was because I hadn’t been with anyone for a long time, but I wasn’t so sure about that anymore. She had always had this effect on me. I had wanted her six years ago and I was pretty sure her description of us then was accurate. We were falling in love. I had damn well loved her.
I had backed away because Dad wanted me to. Now? I wasn’t sure that I wanted to again. How many times does a man get the opportunity with a woman like Disa Riley before she gives up on him. Had she already given up on me because of Jasmine? That was the question.
She couldn’t be mine without incurring the wrath of Rachel and Dad would be standing behind her with his arms folded, glaring at me as he at the bar when he saw how interested I was in her, but the other woman was flirting with me. He thought I was flirting back. I wasn’t. I was being friendly but not flirting.
Why had I believed that I was like him? Because I was young and stupid. Because I was afraid of the growing feelings that I had for this woman then and now.
She was special. The intensity of my feelings for her were frightening. I was only twenty-two at the time. I believed Dad because I felt that I didn’t really deserve Disa Riley. She was too good for me then…and now.
Disa returned to the bedroom cooing at Asia. She slipped onto the bed beside me. I glanced at her, marveling at her comfort with me considering how innocent she was supposed to be.
Her eyes were focused on my girl. “If you need a sitter, I’d be glad to help you,” Disa informed me.
Wonderful. She was thinking about my child while I was thinking about how to get the woman naked and in my bed. I glanced at her nodded.
If I was honest, that wasn’t all I wanted from her and it scared me. She was sweet. She had a little temper when poked. A guest at the bar had learned the hard way not to poke the bear too hard.
She wasn’t as tall as Danni, but she wasn’t short. This man was six foot even and Disa decked him with a solid right hook for patting her butt one too many times. I was there that night. Come to think of it, I almost did it for her.
She gazed at me for a moment then she looked back at Asia. Then her eyes, those damn eyes of hers were looking at me, looking at her. “What?” She asked. I was making her uncomfortable.
“Nothing,” I declared. I had to stop this. I had to stop this now or I was going to do something stupid like declare my love for her and we hadn’t even gone on a damn date in six years. She would think I was crazy. “I’ll go to the bathroom then get Asia a bottle.”