Fix Me

“Paul,” I said with surprise.

“Luke,” he said my name, pushing past me and walking inside. “We need to talk.”

“Please, come in,” I mumbled under my breath as I closed the door.

He turned to look at me, his hands on his hips. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“About?” I asked.

“About Bree! I should have been called and updated on her condition.”

“Her condition?” I asked, wondering if something had changed in the few hours since I had left her.

“I was just at the house and found Mel there. She said Bree hasn’t been sleeping. And I saw Bree myself. She looks horrible!”

Slowly, I nodded. “I know.”

“You look like shit as well,” he said, as if he just noticed my dishevelment.

“Thanks.”

“Why didn’t you call me? I pay you to look after her and I need to be apprised of her health.”

I shrugged. “I thought it was just a couple bad nights. I talked with Mel and she said Bree has had these episodes before and there was little that could be done.”

“That doesn’t mean you don’t call me,” he said, taking a seat on the couch. “Did something trigger it?”

I didn’t want to tell him about my mother, and truly didn’t think my mother’s visit was solely to blame. After our lengthy middle of the night conversations, I had learned it was Bree’s own insecurities and worries. “She’s got a lot on her mind. I’ve tried everything with her. I tried to convince her to talk to a therapist, but she refuses. I don’t know how to help her.”

Paul nodded with understanding. “Mel is right, this isn’t the first time or even the third time.”

I took a seat. “Paul, I have to tell you, I’m out of my league here. When I took this job, I was under the impression that I would be caring for a person with a physical disability. Bree has a lot more going on than just her lack of sight. Personally, I feel she needs to be in a facility that can help her through the emotional trauma as well as the physical trauma.”

“Excuse me? Are you suggesting my daughter needs to be committed?”

“No, not at all. I’m saying, I’m not the guy to get her through this.”

“How can you say that?” he snapped, his eyes flashing with anger. “She depends on you. She cares about you. You can’t cut and run now. You made her fall in love with you and when the going gets tough, you’re going to run?”

“Sir, I’m not running, but I’m not qualified for this.”

“That’s bullshit.”

He was making me feel worse than I already did. “I don’t want to leave, but I’m not helping her.”

“You do you remember I fired you, right?”

“Yes, I remember that conversation very well,” I nodded.

“Bree made me hire you back. You told me you loved her. Against my better judgement, I hired you back. I moved you onto my damn property and now you’re telling me you’re going to ditch her when she needs you most? She doesn’t just need you as a nurse, she needs you as a boyfriend or friend or whatever the hell you guys have going on now.”

I rubbed a hand over my face. The man was right. I knew he was right, but I also knew I wasn’t up to the challenge. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. You can stay and do the job you’ve been paid very well to do.”

“I have and I appreciate it, but I need some time to think. I don’t want to hurt her, but I don’t want her to suffer any more than she already is because I am incapable of helping her. I’ve been up with her for days and nothing helps her sleep. I’ve used every trick I know, and it doesn’t work.”

Paul seemed to soften a little. His shoulders relaxed and instead of looking at me with anger, I saw sympathy. “I know it’s hard and I appreciate you trying. It isn’t always like this. She will get better. I’m asking you to stay long enough to get her through the surgery.”