Fix Me

“That’s assuming she does it,” I said.

He shrugged. “I’m not going to give up on it or her. This is when it’s time to dig in. This is the hard part. I’ll pay you double for the last week. As I understand it, you’ve been there night and day.”

“It isn’t about the money,” I told him. “This is on me.”

He nodded. “I understand. It’s a difficult situation. Take the day to think about it. You’re exhausted and not thinking straight at the moment. Rest and try to get some fresh perspective. We’ll talk again tomorrow. Mel and I will stay with Bree and hopefully get her through this. I won’t let you quit, not like this. I have my little girl to think of and I will hold your feet to the flames if I have to.”

I smiled, glad to know Bree had such a fierce protector in her corner. “I’ll think about it. If I don’t think this is going to work, I will stay until you can find someone to replace me. I don’t want to be the thing that holds her back. She needs someone more qualified to deal with her unique situation. I’m more suited to giving meds, changing bandages and even emptying bedpans. This situation is a new one for me and I care about her too much to screw it up.”

“Fine. I’ll give you a call tomorrow. If you need to take the whole weekend, that’s fine. But don’t you dare cut and run on her.”

“I understand.”

I walked him out, feeling a little threatened but I understood where he was coming from. I would take the day and try to figure my shit out.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Bree

I STARED AT NOTHING, seeing nothing. I had begun to wonder if that was part of the problem. I couldn’t see anything. I couldn’t focus on anything to try and take my mind off the millions of thoughts running through my mind. I was trapped inside my head with all the crazy thoughts, and they really were crazy. I thought about everything from shoes and shopping to babies and husbands.

It was as if I was having all the thoughts for every person on the planet. They were all lodged inside my brain and I couldn’t stop sorting through each and every one of them. Poor Mel had given up last night at some point.

I felt like such a burden. I was putting a serious strain on all the people in my life. All three of them. My father was not happy to find out I had been struggling to sleep. I heard the very heated argument he had with Mel outside my door yesterday. I pretended to be asleep, but I knew my dad was pissed that no one had told him. That was on me. I had insisted that Luke and Mel keep my situation to themselves.

I hoped today was a normal day. Well, as normal as a day could be when you had not slept in almost a week. My body seemed to be growing accustomed to sleeping in thirty-minute snippets. I was still dead tired, and I felt a little disjointed, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been. I was able to function, which was a huge improvement from yesterday.

First, I showered and dressed before going to the dining room.

“Hello?” I called out, expecting Luke or my father to be there.

“In here,” my dad said from the kitchen.

I went into the kitchen, using my senses to try and determine what he was doing. “Are you making breakfast?” I asked skeptically.

“It’s lunchtime,” he said. “I was putting together a couple sandwiches. Would you like one?”

“Yes, please. I’m going to make myself some coffee.”

“Bree, you know what the last doctor said. When you’re in one of these insomnia bouts, you have to lay off the caffeine.”

I sighed. “I’m a big girl, and I happen to like coffee. I have an immunity to caffeine. It isn’t the coffee that is keeping me awake.”

Moving around him, I made my own damn coffee. I wasn’t going to be lectured by my father about something so silly as me enjoying a very normal cup of coffee. It wasn’t like I was pounding energy drinks down before bed.

“Do you want mustard on your sandwich?” he asked.

“No thanks.”

“You need to eat. You can eat the sandwich, or I can heat up some soup.”

I let out a dramatic sigh. “Fine. I’ll eat the stupid sandwich.”

“Would you like to eat outside?” he asked.

He was being too nice. He never doted on me like this. He demanded and scolded but never doted. Something was wrong.

“Fine,” I answered him.