Even if I hadn’t been itching to grind my fist into his nose, one of my jobs as a defenseman was to protect the goalie and that right there was some bullshit. Especially since the refs had been watching the puck and hadn’t seen it.
I didn’t hesitate to hip check Keegan hard enough to knock him against the boards. He didn’t have a chance to react because I punched him hard enough to send him flat on his back on the ice. I went down with him, my knee in his groin, holding him in place. The next punch knocked his mouthpiece out and drew blood, and then I lost it. I could only see red as I continued to pummel him.
“Fucking stop,” Nash said to me in a stern voice as he and Sawyer pulled me off of Keegan for a second time. “This isn’t helping anything.”
“You’re done, Jansson,” the ref said. “Five and game.”
I stared back at him, stunned. I’d never gotten a game misconduct before, and I’d been involved in worse fights than the two I’d just had. It didn’t matter, though. This was about Sheridan and I wasn’t done making Keegan—and anyone else who wanted a go at me—pay. Though I should have cared about disappointing my coach, all I cared about was not having another shot at Keegan again. Fighting was the only outlet I had for the way I was feeling about things with Sheridan.
I loved her, and I missed her with every fiber of my being.
Was it even possible to get her back? I wanted to believe it was, because without her, I was a different man. I wanted to be the man she’d shown me I could be.
As I headed back to the locker room, it occurred to me that maybe…well, more like probably, fighting Keegan wasn’t going to solve anything. I needed to channel my energy in a different direction. I needed to fight for Sheridan.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Sheridan
* * *
I’d never been so alone, so scared, or so utterly devastated. As I’d known it would, that fucking video of me and Hugh had gone viral. In the forty-eight hours since he or Vanessa had put it out there, it had over ten million views on social media. My phone had been ringing nonstop, but the only people I’d spoken to so far had been my mother and Marian. Marian had mentioned suing both Hugh and Vanessa for child pornography or something, since I’d been underage when it had been filmed, but I didn’t even care at this point. Nothing they did to him would change the fact that ten million people had seen it. Had seen me. Doing that.
I’d been holed up in my apartment for two days, and the doormen had strict orders to look out for paparazzi and that no one, not even people they already knew, was allowed up. I was hanging on by a thread at this point and I didn’t know what to do or how to go forward. Marian was my lifeline right now, telling me she’d find a way to make the horror story of my life end. The divorce, the video, all of it. I’d told her I didn’t care how, as long as Hugh was no longer in my life and no longer my agent. I’d go hungry before I gave him another dime once the papers were signed and finalized.
My phone buzzed and though I hadn’t been speaking to anyone, Hadley had texted me multiple times and this was her again. She hadn’t done anything wrong and I appreciated her checking in on me so I reluctantly opened her messages.
Hadley: Are you okay? Call if you need me.
That had been several hours ago.
Hadley: I’m sure you’re hating life right now but I’m here for you. I don’t care about the stupid video. It changes nothing for us.
That was an hour ago.
Hadley: I’m starting to worry. Please just let me know you’re okay.
Sheridan: I’m as okay as I can be, hunkered down at home. Thanks for checking on me.
Hadley: Is there anything I can do? Annie and Nina are worried too.
Sheridan: There’s nothing anyone can do, but my lawyer is working on forcing him to sign the papers. Beyond that, this is my life. I’m probably going to leave town for a while until things settle down.
Hadley: You don’t have to run. We’ve got your back.
Sheridan: I appreciate you. I really do, but it’s better for everyone to keep their distance. This is going to be a shit show of epic proportions and you don’t need this raining down on your family.
Hadley: I’m not worried about it.
Sheridan: Right now, I just have to weather the storm. I’ll call you in a week or two and let you know where I wind up. Thanks again.