“You got a sec?” he wonders.
Nerves swirl in my stomach, but I motion toward the table anyway.
He reaches for me, and I let him pull me onto the seat of the picnic table.
My eyes fall to our joined hands, and slowly, I pull away, looking up at him.
He nods, swallowing.
“I miss you, Ari. I miss everything.” Apprehension pulls at his features. “I’m so fucking sorry, for everything I did, and for everything I should have done, but didn’t.”
“I know, and I’m sorry I acted the way I did after. I shouldn’t have gotten upset with you when we didn’t go anywhere after that night. I knew what I was doing, and I didn’t care then what happened after. That was on me.”
“Don’t,” he says sternly, shifting to face me better. “Don’t do that. I was, no, I am a stupid man. I should have… I shouldn’t have… fuck.” A frustrated sigh leaves him and he meets my eyes.
We stare at each other in silence for several seconds.
Pain and regret gazes back at me, confusion slowly following.
With a small smile, Chase reaches up, tucking my hair behind my ear. His touch lingers a moment, and when his thumb caresses my cheek the slightest bit, I can’t help but lean in.
He had so much of my past, and it’s not that it’s hard to let it go, I’d already done that once, it’s seeing the pain he’s in that stings. He’s never shown it before, not like this.
But the feeling of his skin on mine is all wrong, so I cover his hand with my own, and his eyes gloss over as I remove his from my face.
“I wish we could start over,” he says then.
A light laugh leaves me, and I shake my head. “I don’t. Yeah, things got shitty, but just because things went wrong doesn’t mean that night wasn’t special.”
“It was,” he whispers. “It was special.”
My lips twitch, and I lower my eyes to my lap. “I’ve been thinking a lot.”
“So have I,” he rushes, gripping my hands, and I look to him. “There’s a lot more I want to say, but I’m kind of out of time now. I’ve been out here for a couple hours already, hoping I would catch you a little earlier,” he admits sheepishly. “Think we can talk after practice tomorrow?”
My stomach turns, but I manage a smile, nodding. “Playoffs. That’s pretty epic.”
Chase chuckles, but his eyes fall to the grass. “Yeah. Pretty epic.”
After a moment, he sighs, pushing to his feet, and I stand with him.
Hesitantly, he steps in, his arms coming around me, and while I tense a second, I hug him back in the next.
There’s tension between us, it’s obvious, so in an attempt to lighten the mood, I joke, “I’m glad you stalked me before practice, or I’d be gagging right now.”
Chase chuckles, and I pull back, smiling up at him, but the moment my eyes meet his, my throat runs dry.
A familiar tingle runs down my spine, and I shiver, instantly going stiff.
His brows furrow in confusion, and slowly, I glance over my shoulder.
My stomach hits the ground, an instant wave of nausea rolling through me.
No…
Frozen in place with his keys dangling from his fingers, blue eyes sear me.
My hands fly to my sides, and he cuts a quick glance to Chase.
He nods, and I shake my head.
“Noah,” I breathe his name, desperation oozing from my tone. I step toward him.
He turns away.
“Noah, wait!” I rush forward, but he’s already slipping into his truck, and then he’s gone.
Tears flood my eyes, and I clutch my abdomen with one hand, trying to get a hold of myself.
“Ari— ” Chase begins from behind me.
“I need a minute,” I say, without turning around, following Noah’s truck from the parking lot.
“Arianna—”
“I said I need a minute. Please.” I swallow.
In my peripheral, he nods, grabs his bag, and walks away.
For several minutes, I choke for air, fight back tears, and scream internally.
And then I steal my spine, take a deep breath, and push forward.
I walk straight to the practice field, going the opposite direction Chase disappeared, and I hang back near the parking lot.
Noah’s truck isn’t in sight.
I go inside the stadium, searching the field as the team takes it.
Noah isn’t there.
I wait, and before I know it, the sun’s gone down and the coach is calling it quits.
Noah never shows.
Chapter 36
Arianna
* * *
Pushing past the entrance, I curve right, and pound on the small door for a solid five minutes before Brady appears beside me. Slowly, he reaches up, grabbing and lowering my hands to my sides.
“Ari Baby, I don’t think he’s in there,” he says softly, and I crumble.
He hugs me, attempting to keep me upright, and Cameron slides in front of me, worry carved across her features.
“It’s been two days.” Tears fall from my eyes, and I look away as a few football players walk by, staring. “He wasn’t at practice yesterday, and he isn’t here today, so where is he?”