“Maybe he went out for food or something?” Brady’s tone is dejected, his attempt futile, and he knows it.
“Come on.” Cameron wraps her arm through mine. “We should go home. You need to—”
“Don’t say sleep, Cameron.” I rub my eyes.
“Honey, he’s not here and we don’t know if he has been in the last two days. What are you going to do, camp out in the entryway?”
“If I have to.”
“Ari, don’t do this to yourself.”
“You didn’t see his face.” I look to them. “He was… God, he was…” Devastated. “I can’t even imagine what he’s thinking.”
The front door opens, another group of guys arriving home, and I hold my breath, but it’s Chase who is the last to step through.
He looks from me to Noah’s door and back.
He walks over. “Ari.”
“Please just,” I rush out, my hands flying up as I slip past. “Not now.”
“Arianna!” Cameron shouts, chasing me out onto the porch, but I’m already down the driveway and stepping into the road.
Spinning in place, I scan the area, my hands folding over my head.
My eyes squeeze shut, and I clench my jaw, bending at the knees until I’m squatting in place.
“Fuck!” I finally scream, my body shaking.
Several heads turn my way, but I ignore them.
I jerk upright and start walking.
I walk every inch of campus, circling each building and covering all corners from the center to the outer edge. I don’t think I expected to find him, but once there’s nowhere left to go, I realize I must have hoped I would.
Defeat washes over me and I want to drop to the grass and curl into a ball, but my feet don’t stop moving.
I walk until the sun comes up, and then I go home. Locking myself in my room, I cry myself to sleep.
Later that day, when Cameron pounds on my door, I tell her to go away, and by the time I wake again, it’s after nine-thirty, tonight’s game likely almost over.
Showering last night’s sweat from my body, I quickly throw on some clothes and rush out the door, wet hair and all, but by the time the stadium is in sight, still a good hundred yards away, the campus is already flooded with fans on their way to finish off their Saturday night somewhere. Dropping onto the nearest bench, I go to the school website, where the score is already posted.
The Sharks lost the first round of playoffs, their season coming to end as of tonight.
That means tonight was Noah’s final game as a college quarterback, and I wasn’t there to see it.
A hopelessness aches inside me, and I close my eyes.
Noah hasn’t accepted any of my attempts to contact him, so it’s with a shaky soul and pure desperation that I pull up our message thread, sending him a text I’m hoping he can’t ignore.
I turn off my phone, sitting in the same spot until the parking lot is near empty, and then I head for the football house, praying when I get there, Noah will be waiting.
Unfortunately for me, he isn’t, but a keg full of cheap beer is.
So I fill a cup.
And then I fill another.
Fresh drink in hand, I spin, coming face to face with Chase.
I jerk to a stop, smiling, and he frowns.
“Hey.” He looks past me, toward the guy manning the drinks and then peeks into my cup.
My eyes follow, and I chuckle. “Yeah, he’s not the best pourer. It’s mostly foam, but it’s doing its job.” I push past him, moving through the back yard and step into the house.
He keeps pace with me, and I can feel his inquisition. “And what job is that?”
“Think about all the reasons people turn to alcohol, and check mark every single one.”
I glance his way, and his frown deepens.
“This might not be the best time, but we were supposed to talk, and we never got the chance.”
“Yeah, we never had the chance for a lot of things, did we?” I stop walking, bringing my cup to my lips. “We feel like a lifetime ago.”
“No, we don’t.”
I scoff, nodding my head. “Yeah, we do.”
Sighing, he reaches out, but I bend, evading him.
“Don’t touch me.” I laugh, finishing off my cup, and tip my head at him. “Last time you touched me, you ruined everything all over again, but I mean, hey, I ruined it first, so what’s it really matter.”
“Things don’t have to be this way, you know?”
“How else could it be, Chase?”
“Better.” He steps closer. “It could be better for us.”
“Please.” I roll my eyes. “Until Mason sees, right? Been there, thought that. Got fucked over.”
He jerks forward suddenly, and it takes a moment for my vision to adjust to his nearness.
Suddenly, he’s in my face. “Tell me I can kiss you and I will. Right here, right now, where everyone will see.” He grips my chin. “Tell me I can kiss you.”