Both Tyla and Sasha were gone somewhere with their significant others, so I hurried back to my room where he was already once against stretched out on the bed and frowning at the worksheet he was supposed to fill out.
As I entered, he looked up and broke out grinning. “You rock. This looks perfect.”
We ate sitting with our legs crossed on the bed, facing each other and unable to stop swapping smiles as we polished off all the chips and a good portion of the goodies on the plate.
After that, we returned to studying until I grew tired. And since I wasn’t in any hurry for him to leave, I’d blurted out the question before I really thought through the implications. But when he gave me an out in case I changed my mind, it only made me want him to stay even more.
So I found myself saying, “Yeah. You’re staying.”
His smile was immediate. “Cool. I just need to check in with Aspen and Noel, let them know I won’t be home tonight.” He grabbed his cell phone and began to type out a text.
The name Noel made me remember the conversation I’d heard the night before at Forbidden, how his sister-in-law Aspen was suffering from postnatal depression and he’d had to help her and his brother end a fight.
Kind of wanting him to tell me about it, I blurted, “Who’s Aspen?” even though I’d discovered that answer already.
Colton looked up as he tossed his phone onto the nightstand next to mine. “What?”
“Aspen,” I said. “You mentioned her name the night of the wedding, but you were too drunk to really explain who she was.”
“Oh. She’s my sister-in-law, Noel’s wife, but kind of my mom too. She’s Beau and Lucy Olivia’s biological mom. They’re Noel’s kids. You remember Beau from our Chicken Dance, right?” When I nodded, he fell back against the pillows of my bed and tucked his arm under his head. “Aspen and Noel have been my legal guardians since I was eight. So most of the time, I think of them more as parents than siblings.”
His gaze swept down with a mournful kind of air, so I said, “You seem kind of sad about that.”
Eyes flashing up, he immediately answered, “No! Oh, shit, no. I love them. They were great. They are great. It’s just…”
“It’s just what?” I asked softly, easing down next to him.
He took my hand and interlaced our fingers before pressing his palm against mine and studying the different colors of our skin mixing. “Aspen got pregnant this last year, but she didn’t realize it until she was, like, four months along or something. The thing was, she was on birth control, so she immediately stopped, but she and Noel were freaked out for a while, worried there may be problems with the baby. Except every checkup came back normal, and Lucy Olivia was born right on time at the end of November, healthy as could be. The problem came when Aspen turned really unresponsive. They diagnosed her with postnatal depression. Most days she can’t even get out of bed. And when she does, she usually ends up crying or getting so upset she yells at people.” He shook his head and leaned against me. “It’s really traumatizing for all of us because Aspen is not like that. She’s sweet and kind and giving and selfless. This is just…it’s not her at all.”
I turned my face and kissed his shoulder. “Have you gotten her any help?”
“Sure. We’ve been to the doctor and set her up with a therapist, and he’s prescribed her some pills.” He shrugged. “Some days, it works. In fact, her good days are starting to outweigh the bad, but damn, those rare bad days are getting worse than ever. I don’t know if it’s her depression desperately trying to cling on or what, but those days really suck.”
I held my breath, bracing for him to tell me about the argument he’d had to settle Saturday night, but when he didn’t, I realized that was okay. I almost respected him more for preserving Noel and Aspen’s privacy.
“I bet that makes it hard for you to live there,” I murmured, playing with his hair.
He turned his face and studied me as I sifted my fingers through his silky locks. “They pulled me out of hell,” he said simply. “Then they raised me as one of their own in a new world full of amazing shit I never thought I’d possibly have. I owe my entire life to those two. So trust me, I’m more than happy to help them any way I can.”
Holy shit.
I stared at him, almost seeing a new person and yet the same one I’d known for almost a year. He was most definitely still flirty, carefree Colton, and yet he was more. So much more.
It was like he didn’t want anyone to know he was more, though. He hid his depths from people, like a magician. Sleight of hand, trick of the eye, smoke and mirrors. He stood in front of the crowd, making a big production with colorful scarves and wands, and big black hats—or in his case, flirting egotistical smiles and inappropriate advances—while all the while he took your attention off what was really going on, right in front of your eyes, and concealed the very best parts of himself.
Eyebrows crinkling, he self-consciously demanded, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
I shook my head, not about to tell him what I’d just discovered. “No reason,” I murmured. I still wasn’t all that sure what to do with this newfound information anyway. It only made me like him more, made me want him more, made me want…just more. And that wasn’t what we’d agreed on.
If I didn’t watch myself, I was going to take all this “mine” business I kept saying whenever I thought of him, and I was going to get myself hurt.
“I’m just pleasantly surprised by your family devotion,” I said. Then I patted his chest as a way to help me not fall too deeply into the moment. With a sigh, I started to climb off the bed. “I’m going to go change into my pajamas. Be right back.”
I fled the room, needing a moment to adjust to what had just happened, or what I’d just realized about myself, which was that it was already too late to back off; I’d fallen for Colton Gamble completely.
JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 22
My hands shook as I conditioned my hair and tied it up, and they continued to shake as I cleaned my face and changed into the sexiest pair of pajamas I owned.