I stare down at my huge engagement ring, trying to process what he’s saying.
“But you never showed up,” Griff continues. Pain flashes across his dark blue gaze. “That’s the real reason I was so angry when I found out about O2. If you showed up like you promised, we could have been doing this happy family thing together all these years.”
We could have?
I stare at him, my heart melting and freezing at the same time. His words, his claims, and the alternate timeline they set in motion are almost too bittersweet to imagine. But…
“None of this adds up,” I tell him. “If you loved me like you said you did, why did you lie to me about the marriage requirement?”
“Because you never showed up,” he repeats slowly, like I’m someone who doesn’t understand English. “I wanted…I needed to be with you. But I knew you didn’t feel the same way about me. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have ghosted me like you did.”
He looks at me, his expression miserable. Like this conversation and the memories it dredges up are physically hurting him. Even after all these years.
“Griff…” I struggle past all the confusion to tell him, “On the way to see you, I saw a billboard with you on it—advertising that New Year’s Eve concert. I found out you lied. That’s why I didn’t show up at the appointed time.”
I look away. “When I saw that billboard…I literally stopped driving. All these people were blowing their horns at me, but all I could do was sit there and stare at it. And I don’t know how much time passed, but I guess it must have been too much because this cop came by—on a motorcycle.”
I stop and snort at the irony. But then I sober back up to continue my story. “So, I found this empty bank parking lot, and I sat there. I didn’t go to Kyra’s. I didn’t go home. I just sat there, for hours and hours, trying to figure out why you would do this to me. My good sense was telling me that you were just a liar and that the last two weeks had been some kind of mind-game. But my heart wanted to believe. I told myself that maybe G-Latham was like Red—a mask you put on to protect the real you from real-world pain.”
“That’s exactly who G-Latham is,” Griff said, taking a step closer to me. “And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I lied to you. I was wrong to be bitter all these years about you not showing up. You only knew me two weeks, and I had a hell of a reputation. If that was how you discovered who I really was, I guess I don’t blame you for ghosting me.”
He balls his fist, like he wishes he could punch the guy he was back then. But he visibly calms himself and says, “Thanks…thanks for helping me understand why you didn’t keep your promise.”
He doesn’t understand….
“I always keep my promises,” I whisper. “No matter what. It took me a long time—a really long time. But I came to your place, like I said I would. I still needed the money you promised me for New York. Plus, I thought I deserved answers from you.”
His eyes fill with denial. “No…no, you never came.”
“I did.” Tears burn in my eyes. “But you didn’t answer the door. That guy Rowdy did. And when he showed me to your room, you were already with two girls.”
He goes white as a ghost. “My vision of you that night. It was real. Fuck! You were there. You were really there….”
He confirms what I’ve been beginning to suspect since the start of this conversation—that he didn’t know I was there, even though he looked straight at me and kept having relations with the woman bent over in front of him. And, I confirm what he’s saying with a nod.
He jerks back and fists his hair, his eyes crazed with regret. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry. I was an idiot back then and blitzed out of my mind. I thought partying like I used to would fill the hole of you not showing up. But believe me, I figured out by the next morning that hole was unfillable. I was done with that life. That’s why I moved to Vegas and started working at AudioNation after my European tour anyway.”
More explanations. More terrible, bittersweet feelings because they’re coming too late.
“I thought…I thought you threw me away. I thought you only invited me to your penthouse because you always give the other Reapers your leftovers. That’s what Rowdy said when he grabbed me.”
Griff goes deadly still. “Rowdy touched you?”
The memories I’ve been trying to hold at bay come rushing back like floodwater. Me trying to run out when I saw Griff with those girls. Rowdy suddenly appearing in my path with an affable, “Hey, Red, you can’t leave yet. You just got here!”