Please, I pray silently as I kneel down by the broken door that sits on top. I close my eyes for a moment, trying to find the courage to do what I know has to be done, to calm my nerves and steel myself against what I hope I don’t see, before I finally pull the door open.
It’s dark in the oubliette, but that’s the point. To be encased below the ground in the darkness, with only the occasional chirping of birds, or the crickets at night; the punishment always fits the crime, and if Pater has banished you to the underground dungeon, the transgression must have been severe.
It’s my second home because I defy him so frequently to protect Vaughn and Eloy, but I don’t mind it as much as he thinks I do. From what I know so far, he hasn’t laid his hands upon them in any form of sexual deviance, and because of that, when I’m in the dark, I
sleep more soundly than I do in his bed.
It’s the days leading up to my freedom that always make me anxious. That’s when I lose the most sleep, because I have to face my children and hope they’re still safe from having to feel his touch.
A pocket of air was enough to save Eloy; maybe the will to survive the fall will have been enough to save Vaughn.
I let out my breath in a rush of quick air as I lean over the side. I can’t see him from the top of the pit, which means he’s huddled in a corner, or dead where he’s fallen.
“Vaughn?” I call down quietly, my voice cracking. I take a deep breath, clear my throat, and try again. “Vaughn? It’s me; Jocelyn.”
Silence greets me in return. I blink furiously to keep tears from falling and call out his name again.
“Vaughn?”
I feel like the world is slowly starting to crush me into the ground when I still receive no answer, and just as I’m ready to accept that he’s gone, I can almost swear that I hear a slight shifting sound at the bottom of the pit.
“I have food!” I call back down as I unroll the bottom of my shirt and drop it into the pit. The sound I heard could very well be the rats that make the inside of the walls their home, but I’m too stubborn to give up all my hope until I know for sure.
My entire problem is that I’m blinded by the one thing I refuse to let go of. Hope that Vaughn is still alive. Hope that Eloy is safe, wherever he is. Hope that Pater will see the madness in this entire scheme and let us go.
My own worst enemy is the only fucking thing I keep hanging on to. If I learn to let go, I know things will become clearer; this will all end the way it’s meant to, and not how Pater wants it to.
There are no further sounds coming from the darkness below, and there’s no sign of movement. If Vaughn is still alive down there, he doesn’t trust me enough to let me know.
I can’t blame him.
He walked into a nightmare, thinking that his younger brother was dead at my hands, but even when he realized he wasn’t, he couldn’t find it in himself to forgive me for tricking him into thinking otherwise.
I’m okay with it.
I have to be.
If he doesn’t trust me, it will only make his will stronger, and maybe it’s him and not me who will be the one to end all this.
“Find what you were looking for?”
I jump in complete shock at hearing Pater’s voice coming from above me, almost losing ground and falling into the pit, but he’s faster and much stronger than me, and manages to pull me back before it happens.
He gets me to my feet, giving me an unbelievably harsh glare, prompting only a nod in return. I won’t attempt to mimic the look he’s giving me. He’s won this round and he knows it, because if he thought otherwise, he would be smiling at me instead of sneering.
“Why are you always so content to defy me?” he asks in a low, even tone.
“What? You told me I could—”
Pater smacks me so violently that I fall back onto the ground and come dangerously close to plummeting into the darkness. He gets on his knees in front of me and grips me tightly by the arms. He makes no move to pull me away from the abysmal opening, instead leaning my body further into it.
“Don’t play dumb, Jocelyn. And drop the fucking innocent act. I thought we actually understood each other at this point, but you still seem to be full of games, and we can’t have that,” he says, as he tips me a little further back.
My hands immediately clench his wrists. If he throws me in, I’m going to make damn sure he comes with me. Ending this now would be premature, but why does he deserve to breathe another breath when those of us that were chosen for this are considered so easily disposable?
I take a deep breath and clench my jaw tightly. The pressure of being bent in such an unnatural manner is starting to hurt me, but I refuse to let go of his wrists. I’m not as strong as Pater, and I’m not as fast as him, but I hold an equal amount of determination as him, if not more.
“I think we need to go back to the beginning here, Jocelyn. I think we need to go back to the very first Task I gave you, and complete it together,” he says meaningfully.