I close my eyes tightly and do my best not to cry. He knows; of course he knows. I was stupid enough to think about how I saved Eloy, and Pater picked it out of my brain.
“Where is he?” he asks, pulling me back toward him. I’m inches from his face now. I know because I can feel his breath on my face, as well as the rage radiating from his body. It’s equally terrifying and intoxicating.
“I don’t know,” I reply truthfully.
“Do you really want it to end like this?” he asks me angrily, giving me one hard shake. “We have plans, Jocelyn, and you’re willing to throw it all away on some bastards that aren’t worth more than dog shit on the bottom of a shoe? Give me one good reason I shouldn’t drop you into this fucking hole.”
I take a deep breath and open my eyes. Pater’s face is twisted in hideous rage and genuine confusion, and for the slightest of moments I feel bad for betraying him.
My heart aches slightly when I’m confronted by the complete and utter hurt on the face of my own personal devil, knowing now that he’s been betrayed.
“Because I’m the only hope you have for a new family,” I respond quietly.
He lets out a guffaw, and his hands begin to shake. He knows it’s the truth, and that’s why I can now openly go against his will. He’s laid his cards bare on the table and foolishly told me he needs me, allowing me to use it to my full advantage.
In the rare moment Pater tried to be nothing more than a man in love, he sealed his own fate. He showed me that I’m his weakness, and that he needs me now more than I need him.
Even though the realization hits in this moment, holding me on the brink of life and death, I don’t plan on using it to my advantage. Not until I can get Vaughn out of the darkness and make sure that he and Eloy can find their own safety far away from this place.
Chapter Fifteen
The soles of my feet are scraped raw from walking the property barefoot, since I’ve agreed to go into the woods with Pater and try to locate the young boy. I figure it’s a small price to pay. He says if we find Eloy and finish what I should have done together, he’ll assist me with getting Vaughn out of the oubliette.
“I really think we should have Vaughn with us right now,” I grumble. “I don’t know where he hid Eloy. I don’t know if he’s even still here.”
Pater tightens his grip on my arm and shakes his head. “He’s still here. Know how I know? Because you don’t want to help look for him. You want to pawn this off on Vaughn, and you hoped I would fall for it. I’m not as stupid as you’d like to think I am, Jocelyn. Vaughn earned his time in the hole. Eloy earned his punishment. And you’re going to be a good little wife and follow through on what you’ve promised me.”
Pater stops walking abruptly and glances down at me with a devious smirk on his face and cruel intentions in his eyes.
“Tell you what,” he says, licking his lips and pulling me toward him. “You help me take care of this, make it all the way it should be again, and I’ll take you to see your precious Mama.”
I stare at Pater with wide eyes and the most doubt and confusion I’ve ever felt in my life. How can he take me to see her when he’s already told me she’s dead?
It has to be where she’s buried. That’s the only thing that would make sense with a promise like that, isn’t it?
“How far in do you think he is?” Pater asks, running his hand down the length of my arm and intertwining his fingers with mine.
I shake my head. I don’t know; I really don’t. I only assume, as he does, that this is where Eloy would be because it’s his favorite place to go when he’s allowed outside. Of course, after the debacle with Laura, I honestly doubt that he would want to wallow in whatever memories his mind was forced to create.
“Alright, then you can go first,” he says, letting go of my hand and pushin
g me in front of him. It’s not that he’s afraid; nothing scares Pater. His intention is that if there is a boy to be found and I’m seen before him, then the confidence would be there to make himself known.
It’s a fucking trap, and I’m the bait. What will happen if Eloy steps forward unknowingly? Will Pater end him right then and there, or will he leave the task up to me again? He’ll watch, I know he will, and he’ll make sure that this time it’s done to completion, and the blood I’ve tried so quietly to save will flow freely over my hands.
“May I have a moment first?” I plead, turning to face him. My hands automatically go to his chest, the safest place I knew as a child, and I can see it still has an effect on him by the rapid way he blinks.
“Only a moment,” he agrees with a sharp nod.
I pull away from him and immediately begin to push through the low hanging tree branches and overgrown brush. Pater won’t give me more time than he feels is warranted, and I haven’t even earned these precious moments he’s given me.
He should have just thrown me back into the darkness. If he had thrown me back in after Laura was disposed of, this wouldn’t be happening. This is all my fault.
A sob escapes me as I reach the clearing. There’s a rather large circle of trees that span a patch of dirt in the woods. A large stone sits in the center of it, with smaller rocks scattered about, almost like a tiny village of sorts.
In the large stone, there’s a makeshift chair; a throne. It was there before me and it’ll be there after me, because I do not believe him when he tells me I’m the last. It was the chair I sat in after he bound us together as husband and wife. He said the chair held special meaning, that it would help us survive any obstacle set before us, and yet I can’t help but find only lies in a truth only he believes.
In that stone chair, there’s now a body, slumped over and bleeding. I can’t tell if there’s still life inside it or not. It’s hard to even tell if it’s human from where I am, and since I don’t have time to waste, I run over and stop just short of it.