I smile. I have to agree. “Well, go shove it in Banks’s life. He needs a good sorting out.”
“Go spend time with your brother,” she says. “Love you, Paige.”
“Love you, Mom.”
I end the call and climb out of the car.
Hollis’s house is nice. I’ve been here a few times before to hang out with him and Larissa. It’s a three-bedroom Art Deco-style home with smooth stucco walls and rounded corners.
I follow the curving walkway to the front door and ring the bell.
Hollis pulls the door open. “Hey, Paige.”
“Hi.”
I step inside. He pulls me into a hug, which is the most comfortable exchange we’ve ever had. Progress. I slip my shoes off by the door.
“What’s been happening?” he asks as he leads me into the living room.
This room is small but warm with a cream-colored sofa and muted-colored pillows. A television hangs on the fireplace. The curtains are pulled back, filling the room with bright sunlight and a view of a green backyard.
I sit on the sofa. “Not a lot. Working. Getting ready to go back to school. The usual. You?”
“I’m taking a couple of days off,” he says, dropping into a brown leather chair. “I was in Nashville longer than I thought I would be, and I’ve been catching up on shit since I got back. Riss asked me to spend a couple of days with her, so here we are. I can’t tell her no.”
“Where is she?”
“Upstairs. She jumped in the shower before you came. She’ll be down soon.”
“Cool.” I glance around the room. “My parents are coming to town. I finally caved.” I grin at him. “You’d be game to meet them, right?”
“For sure. Do you have any dates?”
I shake my head.
“Let me check my calendar and text you. Coy added a few things—or he was supposed to. I don’t want to be out of town while they’re here.”
“Mom would literally kill me.”
He laughs. “Don’t let her do that before September.”
“Why? What’s in September?”
He takes a deep breath. “Well, I wanted to ask you something.”
“Okay …”
My stomach forms a tight knot.
“Riss and I were thinking about taking a vacation in September. It’s the first time our schedules align, and we can get away, and we were thinking about heading to Mexico. Booking a resort and just hanging out for a few days. We thought maybe you’d want to bring someone and come with us. It might be fun.”
This shouldn’t make me want to cry, but it does. I’m turning into a baby. I try to smile, but my lips tremble and that only assists the tears. So I just look at him blank-faced.
“I mean, if you want to,” he says, thrown by the stupid look on my face.
“Of course I want to. I’m trying not to cry.”
“Cry?”
I laugh and pat my eyes with my fingertips. “I’ve been really … I don’t know who I am anymore, Hollis. I’m a crybaby. I feel things. What the hell is this?”
He snorts.
“Don’t laugh at me. I’m being serious. I’m worried about myself,” I say, only half-joking.
“I’m not laughing at you. I’m just … entertained by your spot in life. I’ve been there.”
“You have? So I’m not just a weirdo who suddenly has emotions when it comes to things other than my parents and sad animal commercials?”
He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. Then he sighs.
“When I met Riss, I’d sort of trained myself not to get in too deep with things. I don’t know if I didn’t think I was good enough for her or what. It was coming off a terrible football season, and I was just not in a good place. I didn’t know what to do with my life or where to go. I was just wandering around trying to find a path.”
“Dude, that’s me. You just described me.”
He shrugs.
“I’ve started wondering lately if I don’t do it on purpose,” I say. “I don’t have an excuse not to have my life together. I work in a bar—one I freaking love, by the way. But still. I didn’t start college for three years after high school graduation. I’ve been dating losers with no hope of it actually working out.”
Hollis pulls his brows together.
“Do you think I might’ve been doing it on purpose?” I ask.
“Why would you do that?”
The tightness in my chest makes me gasp for air. I press a hand on my heart.
The more I talk about this, the more it makes sense. Self-sabotage.
“I almost wonder if I don’t figure life out on purpose because the timer starts for it to end. And ending shit hurts so much that I avoid it by never starting it to begin with.”
He nods slowly. “That’s really interesting. I might’ve been that way too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. In college, I was a public figure around campus because of my football career. But I only had two friends I was actually close to. I sort of kept everyone else at arm’s length.” He strokes his lip with his finger. “I’m going to think about what you said. That’s wild.”