“Did that change for you, though? Were you ever able to stop thinking like that?”
He drops his finger and smiles. It’s pure and raw and genuine, and it makes my heart sing. I love seeing him happy. He deserves it.
“It changed when I met Riss.”
It’s a simple sentence, beautiful and clear. I sit back on the sofa as the tightness in my chest eases.
“How did you fall in love with her?”
“What do you mean?”
I force a swallow down my throat. “How did you know it was okay to be that vulnerable? What made you decide that you could open up and let Riss in? Do you still feel like it could just all end at the drop of a hat?”
He looks at me with understanding. I don’t have to explain my feelings to Hollis because he just gets it. And that’s another reason I love this man and am so thankful for him.
“When you fall in love with someone, you don’t get to choose. You just wake up one morning and realize that this is it. This is your life. It can never go back to the way it was before.”
“But what if it all just ends?”
He smiles softly. “Honestly? I don’t know. I’d like to think that will never happen. I don’t think that anyone can ever guarantee to have anything or anyone forever. That’s not true to the cycle of life. But I do know this. No amount of heartbreak could ever erase the happiness she’s brought to my life. She’s made me a better person. She’s given me hope and a life, and …” He laughs quietly and looks over his shoulder. Then he leans forward. “I told her I’d wait until she came down to tell you, but we’re having a baby.”
“What?” My jaw drops before I hold my hand over my mouth. “Hollis. Are you serious?”
He nods with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen—not just on him. On anyone.
I leap to my feet and rush across the room. I pull him into a hug as tears fill my eyes.
He stands, hugging me back. He lets me love on him.
My big brother, my protector, the boy who had all the odds stacked against him in life will now be a father. And he’s going to be the best father ever. I know because he loved me like one all those years ago.
“I am so happy for you,” I whisper in his ear.
He holds me tight, joy rippling off him in waves. “Thank you.”
I pull back and wipe a tear from under an eye.
He chuckles. “You have to act surprised when we tell you later.”
“I’ll be the most surprised I’ve ever been.”
We stand in the middle of his living room, in the house with his name on it—two kids who didn’t have a chance.
“I think we did all right in life. Don’t you think?” he asks.
I look around the room and think about my life. Someday, I want this too.
All of it.
I look at Hollis again. “Yeah. I think we did.”
TWENTY-FOUR
NATE
“No! Ryder! No!” Boom. “Shit.”
My son screws up his face as if my use of profanity somehow outweighs the fact that sugar now covers nearly every kitchen surface.
“Bad word, Dad.”
“Thanks. I wasn’t aware.”
I pick him up off the chair and crunch through four pounds of granulated sugar. I plunk Ryder on a barstool.
“Stay put,” I tell him. “Seriously.”
He licks his fingers. “That was a tasty accident.”
Great.
“What happened in here?” Paige stands in the doorway, making a face like someone’s probably in trouble. “Yikes.”
“I was trying to make Kool-Aid, the black cherry kind. It’s my fave,” Ryder says.
“It’s your fave? What? Are you sixteen now?” I ask. Who is this kid hanging out with?
He licks his fingers. “Jurnee says that.”
“The book girl?” Paige asks.
He nods. “Yup. She says Freckle Juice is her fave book.” He giggles. “Isn’t that funny?”
I look down at the mess at my feet. “Hilarious.”
Paige comes into the kitchen. She removes the towel from her hair as she approaches Ryder.
“Here. Let’s clean your hands off,” she says.
“No!” He jerks them away from her. “I like it.”
She laughs. “I’m sure you do, but Mrs. Kim isn’t going to want you bouncing off the walls tonight. Remember? You’re supposed to stay over there and play with—”
“Oh! Yeah! I’m supposed to have a sleepover with Mrs. Kim and Jon tonight.” He holds his hands out for Paige. “Mrs. Kim bought us games. Have you heard of Sorry?”
“This kid has a better social life than I do,” I mutter, grabbing the broom and dustpan.
“I have,” Paige says, cleaning the sugar crystals from between Ryder’s fingers. “It’s a lot of fun. I always like to be yellow. It’s the luckiest.”
“Okay. I’ll try to remember that.”
“Ryder, kiddo, let’s leave the Kool-Aid making to me,” I say, propping the broom against the refrigerator. “Like I told you before you grabbed the sugar off the counter.”