“And some things never change,” Alison laughs, joining us. She gives me a quick hug. “How are you?”
“Good. How about you? Getting the feel of Atlanta?”
Her eye shine as she blows out an exaggerated breath. “It’s a lot to take in. And now with him considering . . .” She looks at Barrett and makes a face. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, it’s okay,” he says, pulling her to his side with a smile. “Talks are getting more serious about the Presidential thing.”
“Are you going to do it?”
He looks at Alison. “We’ve been talking about it. It’s definitely not a question you can just answer, you know? Speaking of which, I’d like to talk to you about it later, if you don’t mind?”
“Sure.”
“Hey, son.” Dad’s hand rests on my shoulder. “Good to see you.”
“Hi, Dad.” I turn to see him cradling Ryan in his other arm. He’s cuddled against my father in a bright blue blanket looking as peaceful as can be. It’s a sight I’m not used to—my brusque father, the head of our family’s empire, holding a baby.
“What?” he asks.
“It’s just a little . . .”
“Weird seeing you with a baby,” Barrett finishes for me. “Lincoln’s baby at that.” He chuckles. “It’s still hard to imagine our baby brother with a baby of his own.”
“My junk works just fine,” Lincoln imparts, joining our little circle. “The two of you better get on it and prove your manhood.”
“I think I’ll leave this conversation,” Alison blushes, peeling herself away from Barrett.
“Why? You don’t want to have my baby?” Barrett teases her. “That’s not what you said—”
“Barrett! Please,” she sighs, her eyes wide, imploring him to hush. Her reaction makes us all laugh.
“Behave,” our father warns his eldest.
Lincoln reaches for Ryan.
“He’s perfectly fine, Linc,” Dad says.
“Yeah, but I want to hold him.”
Dad makes a face, but lets Ryan go. “One of you is going to have more kids just so I can hold one of them.”
They continue to banter back and forth, joking and teasing, but I excuse myself. Waving at Sienna and Danielle in the kitchen, I head to the back porch.
A light breeze twirls the ferns hanging around the porch, the swing creaks on its chain as it moves easily back and forth. Besides the chaos of the house at my back, it’s absolutely serene.
This is why this is my favorite place on the planet. A place where I can tune out the world, ignore the anarchy of whatever is going on in life, and just think.
My heart is heavy as I sit in the swing and try to separate all I’m feeling. Hearing my family talk about having babies, seeing my father hold Ryan, feeling all the love in the house is an amazing feeling. It’s like all the pieces are fitting together just like they should. All of them except mine.
Just a few weeks ago, I was content with being a bachelor. A booty call here and there was enough to keep me satisfied. Maybe I felt the fissure in my life, the crack that was unfulfilled, but I never knew how deep it ran until I saw Ellie again.
When we’re together, I’m hopeful things will work out between us. Even if she tries to push me away, it just feels so organic, so right, that I’m sure it will end the way it should.
But what if it doesn’t? What if she means it when she tells me she wants things to slow down?
It’s funny—all I can see as my life now are moments with her. What becomes of that vision if she chooses not to take part?
“You okay?” Graham steps onto the porch and leans against the rail. He looks out over the lawn.