“So, Thursday we have knit and natter over at the community centre. We usually bring a plate of goodies each and stuff our faces with cake and biscuits. Then Friday is bingo at the Prince of Wales.”
“Nan, don’t you ever have a rest?”
“I’ll rest when I’m dead dear.” She scolded me. “So Saturday is pub quiz night. I’ve joined the team at the Royal Oak. We call ourselves ‘Who let the Nan’s out’” She fell back into the sofa now laughing uncontrollably at her own joke. I just shook my head.
“Then Sunday it’s the great British bake off. We take it in turns to cook the Sunday lunch and then a show stopping pudding that we all grade out of five. It’s Harold’s turn this week and I’m considering eating before I get there. His Ethel did all the cooking and she taught him a few things before she popped her clogs but he’s hopeless bless him. He could burn water that man.”
“At least he tries.” I narrowed my eyes at her now.
“Is Harold your boyfriend Nan?”
Her eyes grew wide in horror, “Of course not child, don’t be so blooming ridiculous. He’s just a friend. Can’t a woman be friends with a man these days without everyone thinking they’re hopping into bed with each other?”
“I didn’t mean that Nan! I was joking, relax.” The thought of my old Nan hopping into bed with anyone was ridiculous, she was my Nan, and she was too old for all that…surely. Oh God I didn’t even want to think about that.
She patted my knee then pushed herself up off the sofa.
“Well as much as I’d like to sit and chat about your hunky older man I’ve got a raunchy book club to attend, and tonight we are talking about the red room you know! Do you want to come love?”
“Not this time, thanks Nan. I could do with an early night anyway.” Also the idea of discussing the red room of pain with a group of octogenarians sounded painful in itself, but I kept that to myself.
“Okay sweet pea, your room is exactly as you left it. Help yourself to anything. There’s half an apple crumble left in the fridge if you want to warm that up with some custard. I’ll be back about elevenish. Don’t wait up!”
With that Nan stood up and grabbed her water proof coat, the keys to her old Ford from the side table and waltzed out of the door. Seconds later the door flew open again.
“Can’t forget Christian!” She sang as she picked up a well leafed through copy of her book and tucked it into her coat pocket. What was she like!
2
So here I was, alone with my thoughts. I had no mobile phone to call, text or message anyone and Nan didn’t have a computer so the only source of communication was the land line sitting on the side table. I picked up the receiver and called through to the Parker Hayes office. I knew I’d get the answer machine at this time of the evening, but I had to tell them I wouldn’t be in the next day. I made a garbled excuse about a family emergency and that I would be away for the foreseeable future, hoping and praying that they’d understand and not boot me out on my ass. Then I put in a call to Robyn. It rang out twice before she picked up.
“Hello!” She sounded out of breath
“Hi Robyn it’s me, Ella. If Joe is there don’t let him know you’re talking to me okay.”
“He left about an hour ago, what’s going on Ella?”
“The total destruction of my life, that’s what’s going on!”
“Oh babe is it really that bad?”
“What did he say to you?”
“Only that you’d run away from him again and he needed to speak to you. He looked heartbroken Ella, he had tears in his eyes, and I’ve never seen him like that before.”
“You know I was going over to his office at lunchtime to tell him about the baby? Well someone beat me to it.”
“What do you mean? Someone else told him you were pregnant? I don’t get it Ella.”
“No someone else is pregnant too. That bitch face Anna, and she claims it’s his.”
“Shut the fucking front door, no fucking way! He didn’t say a thing about that when he came round. The lying cheating bastard!”
“He swears blind it isn’t his, but she’s five freaking months Robyn…and she had pictures…of him…I don’t trust him anymore.”
“I wouldn’t trust him either Elle, he has made way too many
fuck ups lately. Where are you anyway? When are you coming home?”