“I’ve come down to stop with my Nan for a bit. Just until I can get my head around everything. Please, whatever you do don’t tell Joe where I am. The last thing I need right now is him turning up on Nan’s doorstep shouting the odds.”
“Your Nan would annihilate him anyway.” Robyn laughed.
“I know, that’s what I’m worried about. But seriously, I just need some time to myself to decide what I’m going to do for me and the baby.”
“Okay chick, if you need anything just call okay. Either Chris or I can be down there with you in a few hours.”
“I know and thanks, you’re both the best.”
I said my goodbyes and hung up. Things were starting to improve already. I ran my hands over my tummy and looked down.
“We can do this can’t we babba, me and you. I’ll be learning on the job but I’ll give you more love than you could ever hope for. That’s a start right?”
I stroked my tummy and felt a warm glow inside knowing I would never be alone ever again.
I headed to my old bedroom and chuckled to myself as I opened the door. Nan was right when she said it hadn’t changed a bit. There were still Coldplay and The Script posters on the wall over the pink rainbow and unicorn wallpaper, and bits and pieces of used makeup on the white dressing table. I had to learn to be tidier before this baby came along I thought. A large pink rug in the shape of a teddy bear sat in the middle of the floor and the bed spread was still pink and flowery with a cushioned pink velvet headboard topping off the cute girlie vibe. It looked like an eight year olds bedroom, but this was the room I’d lived in until I was eighteen years old. The décor had never bothered me before, but looking at it now I realised how much I had grown up since moving to the city. At least if I have a baby girl I won’t need to decorate this room, it’s already set!
I plonked myself down onto the bed and sunk into it like Goldilocks. I’d forgotten how bouncy Nan’s beds were. Grandad had always said that if you spend a lot of money on anything it should be your shoes or your bed, because if you aren’t in one you’re in the other. So Nan always brought the best mattresses. She also put two mattresses on each bed in the bungalow for added comfort. It felt like you were sleeping on a cloud. Before I knew it I had drifted off into the deepest dreamless sleep I’d had since I’d left this homely heart-warming bungalow.
3
The next day I woke up to a tray of scrambled eggs on toast, a bowl of fresh fruit, freshly squeezed orange juice and a pot of tea, all on a lap tray so I could enjoy a breakfast feast in bed. Surprisingly I quite fancied the tea, and the scrambled eggs didn’t make my stomach turn like they might have done before. Maybe being at Nan’s had altered my taste buds I thought. I scoffed it all down and then headed into the kitchen to pop the tray back and wash up my things.
“Did you sleep okay love?” Nan was washing up at the sink, and turned to grab my things off me so I plonked myself down in a chair at the wooden kitchen table.
“I slept like a log Nan, your beds are the most comfortable in the world.”
“Can’t beat your own bed, and this is still your home Ella.” Nan smiled.
“So what do you plan to do today?” She asked.
I had hoped for a day of complete nothingness but then again I supposed a walk out would help clear my mind. Plus I had no clothes or toiletries with me, so a trip to the local town would have to be done at some point today.
“I’m going to head into town and stock up on a few bits and pieces.”
“I had noticed the lack of luggage.” Nan peered over at me trying to read my mind no doubt. “Leave in a hurry did you?”
“Something like that.” I hung my head down and avoided her gaze. I didn’t have the energy for a grilling right now.
“Alright, if you need anything let me know Ella.”
“Thanks Nan.”
I headed back to my room and lay back on my bed. Then I started to go through all the things I’d endured since he’d come into my life. I’d been stalked relentlessly, made to watch videos and see pictures of him doing unspeakable things with other women, had to listen to blow by blow accounts of his sexploits at various social events whilst hiding in a toilet, had air stewardesses fawning over him, and now he’d got an employee pregnant. That wasn’t even including the fire and scary threatening letters and photographs of me being posted to us. My life sounded like a soap opera it was beyond crazy.
As I was putting together all the parts of the puzzle that was my life, I began to feel overwhelming anger and rage. How dare he come into my life and fuck it up so much. How dare he destroy my baby’s future. He was a selfish, self-centred egotistical asshole and I vowed to myself that from this day forward, I would always put myself first and never let another man control me like he had. All it led to was heartache and pain. He was right all along when he said he was no good for me, and now finally I agreed with him. He was not good for my health, my sanity or my self-esteem.
I decided to concentrate on myself and my little babba cooking away. He had made his bed, when he whored himself out like that, now he had to lie in it. I’m sure once he’d got me out of his system he’d soon find another unsuspecting girl to take my place. As sad as that made me feel, I pushed it to the back of my mind and sat up. I would put my brave face on today and go out, why did I need to hide away? I wasn’t the one who had been fooling around. I got myself ready and then said my goodbyes to Nan before heading off out to drive into town.
I’d forgotten how lucky we were in the city, with all the amenities so close by. The local town had one clothes shop, one chemist, a small supermarket and not much else. There was a quaint little coffee shop that had recently opened up next to the chemist and it looked cosy so I decided to grab a quick coffee and a pit stop. I might even treat myself to a cream cake I thought. Inside it was decorated like an old English parlour and the tea and coffee were served in china cups and mugs, almost like it was someone’s living room and you’d popped in for a catch up.
I chose a little table for two in the corner and sipped my latte. The cream éclair I had brought looked delicious and I knew it wouldn’t hit the sides as it went down. I stared blankly out of the window at the people shuffling leisurely down the street.
“Ella? Ella Reid is that you?”
I looked up to see a kind face staring back at me, brown eyes that crinkled at the corners as he smiled and smooth tanned skin on his face showing he was cleanly shaved today.
“Simon? Simon Tate? I have got it right haven’t I?”