“But it happened, fuck did it happen and now you’re gonna act like it was nothing? You want fucking space? Fine I’ll give you all the space you want in our apartment, but I don’t buy your bullshit Ella. This…us…we are not a mistake.”
I pushed him off me and stood up, grabbing my handbag to leave.
“Don’t you dare walk away from me Ella!”
I went to walk to the door, but he put both of his hands on it to stop it opening, trapping me in his arms.
“I’m not getting back with you Joe, not now. I need time. I’m sorry.”
He leaned into my neck, I could feel his hot breath against my skin, and goose bumps rose up all over my body.
“You want some time to think, I’ll give you time, but never ever call us a mistake. I’ll wait for you…for now…but know this Ella. I am coming for you. You’re mine.”
He dropped his hands to his side now and I opened the door then without a backwards glance I left his office and headed towards the exit. ‘Damn Ella, you need to build a stronger defence if you’re gonna go against a man like Joe’, I told myself. Then I took myself off home to lick my wounds and piece myself back together yet again.
11
When I got back to Robyn’s I was relieved to find the house empty. Phew, no awkward explanations about my afternoon and the reason for the flushed look on my face. I jumped in the shower then lay on the sofa to watch cheesy Sunday evening television. I clicked the laptop to life and checked my emails without a thought to what might be there. Sure enough an email from Joe sent an hour ago appeared in my inbox.
From: [email protected]
Title: The clock is ticking…
5 Seconds of Summer – Want You Back
Joe x
Another YouTube link and I knew exactly what the message in the song would be, it was pretty obvious from the title. What was I supposed to say to that? How could I respond? I closed the laptop and decided silence was the best response, then I lost myself in comforting cups of tea and Robyn’s emergency stash of chocolate biscuits.
Monday brought in the new week with bright sunshine and unusually higher temperatures for the time of year. Chris and I decided to eat our lunch at the local park across the road from the office, making the most of the sunshine. We found a patch of grass amongst the hordes of office workers who had the same idea as us, and claimed it as ours for our impromptu lunch time picnic. Ten minutes later a shadow appeared over me blocking out the sun.
“Hi Ella, how you feeling?”
“Max, what are you doing here? This is a bit out of your way isn’t it?”
Max shuffled about on his feet looking guilty. He was wearing jeans and a white t-shirt with trainers. So he wasn’t here to work, why was he here?
“I popped into your office to see if you were okay, that crazy receptionist told me you’d come here for lunch. How you feeling?”
“I’m okay…I think.” I shrugged up at him and he smiled and sat down next to me.
“I feel like I’ve been a shitty friend to you lately. I wish you’d have told us all what was going on.”
Chris chose that point to stand up and make his excuses, saying he had forgotten an important email he needed to send off and needed to get back to the office, but I knew he was giving us chance to talk. He told me not to rush back, he would cover for me with the bosses.
“I didn’t tell you everything Max because I wasn’t coping well with it myself. I suppose I was burying my head in the sand.”
“It’s good to have you back Ella.” He looked over at me then blushed, “Joe really missed you, we all did.”
“Does he know you’re here today?” I asked.
“No, I’m here as your friend Ella. Nothing to do with Joe. He’s still getting the hate mail you know. They’ve stopped including you in them though thank God.”
“He didn’t tell me.” I felt worried again, butterflies taking over my tummy and not in a good way. “Has he informed the police yet?”
“No. He doesn’t seem bothered about it much anymore. Sam is looking into it but Joe said he doesn’t care if they threaten him. He’s used to it.”