She stopped at the door to the bathroom and paused for a long moment, thinking of her answer. Then she shook her head. “Please…just don’t, Harris. I—I can’t.” Her voice broke and I took a step toward her but she spun around to glare at me. “I can’t do this with you. I’m not strong enough to handle being broken all over again. What just happened was a mistake, but I don’t regret it. Not really. Maybe it’s the closure we both need. I don’t know, but what I do know is that I won’t survive you again.”
A lump filled my throat, making it hard to draw in a breath for a moment. “Lu, I know I’ve fucked up. I fucked up bad, sweetness. But give me a chance to fix this. To fix us. Don’t give up on me.” I was begging, so close to tears there was no way of hiding them, but I didn’t give a damn. I wanted her to see. Needed her to know exactly how sorry I was for letting her go.
“I didn’t,” she whispered and wrapped her arms around herself. “You did that months ago. I’ve been trying to put myself back together ever since.” She lowered her head, talking to the floor now. “I’ve been trying, but it hasn’t been working.”
I was across the room in the next instant, pulling her into my arms. She was stiff as a statue in my arms, but I didn’t let her go. I would never let her go. I’d made that mistake once, and I wouldn’t repeat it. Ever. “I’ve been trying to put me back together, too, sweetness. Nothing I do works either. It’s time we put each other back together.”
She shook her head. “I-I can’t.” She stepped back, but I didn’t force her to stay. She needed time and I had plenty of that.
I wouldn’t give up this time.
I wouldn’t let her go.
Chapter 8
Lucy
In a daze, I left Kin’s bedroom. My head was killing me and my body ached in a way that left my blood singing through my veins. I couldn’t believe that I’d just had sex with Harris. What had I been thinking? This only complicated things that much more.
“There you are,” Kin called out from the kitchen as she poured herself a cup of coffee. “I was about to send a search party for you. Your phone has been going off like crazy. Aunt Emmie is peeved, to say the least.”
“Hell,” I muttered, pushing my hair back from my face. It was soaking wet because I hadn’t taken the time to even attempt to dry it in my rush to get clean and out the door as quickly as possible. “What did you tell her?”
Kin paused to give me a complete onceover, then offered me the cup of coffee she had just poured. “Here, you look like you need this more than I do.”
I shook my head and headed for the door. “I have to go.” I wanted to be gone before Harris got out of the shower. I hadn’t said a word to him as we’d passed in the bedroom. I couldn’t even look at him without remembering what we’d just done.
“Keep the sweats,” Kin told me as I headed for the door. “I’ll burn your clothes. Oh, and thanks for all the vomit I had to clean up last night.”
I stopped with my hand on the door. I’d had no choice but to borrow Kin’s clothes. I wasn’t going to take the time to go back to the guest room for my own clothes and the only other options were the vomit-covered clothes I’d ruined the night before or the shirt Harris had put on me. The one he’d destroyed while trying to get it off me just an hour before.
I glanced at Kin over my shoulder. Seeing that she had followed me, I turned to face her. “I’m sorry, Kin. I messed up last night. Do you hate me?”
She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. “I could never hate you. Cuss your ass while I tried not to add to the mess I had to clean, sure, but never hate you.” She pulled back, her eyes narrowed in concern. “Will you be okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. It’s just a hangover.” I tried to play it off, but she saw right through me.
“Yeah, hangover. That’s what they call it these days.” She shook her head and handed over my phone. “Here, you’re going to need this. Tell Aunt Emmie and your parents I said ‘hi’. Call me later and I’ll bring your things over.”
I put my phone in my pocket and headed out the door. It was only a two-minute cab ride to my parents’ house, and thankfully there were several cabs already waiting downstairs. I told the driver where I was going, tossed him a twenty, then sat back. Closing my eyes, I tried to ignore the pain in my head.
Most people didn’t have a cookout on Mondays, but my family wasn’t most people. They didn’t work the normal nine to five. So I wasn’t surprised when I stepped out of the cab and found not only my parents’ driveway full of cars, but Aunt Emmie’s as well. Knowing everyone would be at the latter’s house, I walked past the house that separated the Thorntons from the Armstrongs. Instead of going into the house, I walked around to the back yard where I could already hear kids laughing and splashing in the pool.
“She lives!”
I tried not to flinch at Nik’s loud voice as he brought my appearance to everyone’s attention. I would have happily murdered someone for a pair of sunglasses and a bottle of aspirin right then. Everyone was there: Mia and Jagger swimming in their pool, Drake and Lana with their four girls, Shane and Harper with Violet and Mason, Axton and Dallas with Cannon and Shaw, Liam and Gabriella with Asher and Piper, Zander and Annabelle with their son Jaco. I didn’t see my mom or Aunt Emmie, who must have still been in the house getting things ready.
“Lu!” my dad’s booming voice called out. “You hungry?”
The smell of whatever he was grilling suddenly hit me as the breeze shifted. I couldn’t control my gag reflexes but thankfully I didn’t puke right there. Trying to breathe through my mouth, I clutched my stomach and shook my head. My reaction only had my dad and the rest of the rockers already spread around the patio chuckling.
“It’s okay, baby-cakes. I’ll get you fixed right up.” I welcomed the warmth of Drake’s arm as he draped it over my shoulders and guided me toward the French doors that led into the kitchen.
“Is this your first hangover?”
There was no use in trying to lie. Drake was the king of hangovers from his days before my sister had tamed him. “Yeah,” I muttered, still trying to breathe through my mouth to avoid gagging again.
My brother-in-law laughed. “Okay, Lu. This is gonna suck for a few minutes. Bear with me. I won’t lead you wrong.”