This Cruel Love

“We haven’t decided where the kids will go, but Nina will be here, make no mistake.”

I pushed off the bed and bumped my dad out of the way as I headed for the door.

“I hate you!” I spat out. “I hate you and I’ll never forgive you for this. Move Nina in, but don’t expect me to stay here with you. I’d rather live on the streets than here with you and her.”

I made sure to slam the door extra hard as I stormed out of our house. That was the last thing I ever said to my father, ‘I hate you’, and it was the last time I saw him alive.

Uncle Mick’s house was much like ours; a busy family home full of noise and laughter when everyone got together. Today was no different. Uncle Mick was outside manning the barbecue and dressed in his comedy apron. Gloria was checking the outside bar they’d set up and counting the bottles and glasses. I recognised a few of the other people here as friends, or rather acquaintances, of my parents. I instantly made a beeline for Gloria and her bar, consciously leaving Jackson behind. I wasn’t his babysitter today, thank God. If he wanted to network, he was on his own. Me, I came to see old friends and hopefully lose myself in some daytime drinking.

“Ryley, you look lovely.” She beamed at me. “Want to try my new cocktail?” Gloria held up a cocktail shaker filled with some dubious-looking pink substance. I didn’t want to be rude, so I agreed. I had to fight to keep the drink down after my first sip, it was so bitter.

“Mmm, it’s great, thanks.” I put the cocktail glass down, knowing I’d conveniently forget that drink when I walked away.

“I hear your mum and dad are coming home soon. Sounds like they’ve had the adventure of a lifetime.”

I nodded, but I didn’t elaborate. I felt embarrassed that I’d been dodging their calls for weeks. They’d know I was here today though. Gloria couldn’t keep anything secret.

“Where’s that handsome man of yours?” She smirked.

I was about to run off a list of all the awful places I hoped Justin was suffering in, when I stopped myself, realising she meant Jackson.

“Oh, I think he’s here somewhere.”

I made a weak effort to glance around, as if I was actually interested in looking for him. He didn’t blend in all that well though. His tall, muscular frame made him stand out head and shoulders above everyone else. I saw him standing over by Uncle Mick at the barbecue, awkwardly rocking his new jeans. He looked like he might bolt at any minute, he was so out of his comfort zone. Another woman I didn’t recognise was with them. She was laughing at whatever they were talking about, despite neither man breaking out into a smile. She couldn’t have been more obvious about her flirting if she’d worn a bloody sandwich board to advertise the fact. It bothered me way more than it should have.

“Don’t let Allie over there make you jealous. She’s a cougar and damn proud of it too, but she stands no chance next to you, love,” Gloria said, trying to make me feel better.

Did I look jealous? I hoped not. I picked up one of the glasses of champagne from Gloria’s tray of drinks, and took a huge swig of the sweet, chilled cure for all life’s problems.

“I’m not worried.”

I turned to look again at Allie the cougar, and in that exact moment, Jackson turned and caught my eye. He smiled and my stomach flipped over. What was that? Was it nerves? I was scared to think about it in any depth. I had enough to think about with Justin and his cheating ass, I didn’t need any extra stress. I certainly wasn’t ready to think about dating again, or even thinking about another man in that way. But the problem was, I had been thinking about another man. I’d found myself thinking about him more and more lately. It worried me, because all of my instincts were telling me to stay away from any man like Jackson. He was bad news. But I was never very good at doing what I was told.

I finished my glass of champagne, enjoying how the bubbles made my nerves settle down, and grabbed a second glass to keep the feeling going. I spotted Ben and Sal sitting by the pool, and I felt relieved to find somebody closer to my own age to chat to. Maybe this day wasn’t a total washout after all.

“Hey you two. How are you? I haven’t seen you for ages.”

Ben and Sal stood up when they saw me, and Sal gave me a massive hug.

“Ryley, it’s so good to see you. Mum said you were coming, I’m so glad you did.”

I took a seat in between them and spent the next hour or so catching up with my old childhood friends. It wasn’t until Jackson came over to ask me to go with him for some food that I realised I’d drunk as much as I had. Standing up gave me a head rush and I felt giddy and slightly nauseous.

Ben stood up and held his hand out for Jackson to shake, introducing himself as he did. But Jackson did his usual asshole routine and totally ignored him, ushering me away forcefully like he was saving me from some unknown danger.

“I think you need to slow it down with the alcohol therapy,” he whispered as I stumbled against him.

“I’ll drink as much as I want,” I said, using his solid frame to steady myself.

He stopped and stood still, using his body to block out the rest of the party behind him.

“I’m not gonna let you make a fool of yourself in front of your friends. If you keep drinking like you are, you’ll be face down in a bush in an hour. You need to eat something, soak it up.”

I tutted at him, irritated that he was trying to sabotage my fun.

“I have more class than that. Don’t judge me by your past dates’ behaviours,” I slurred.

“Why are you drinking like you’ve just dragged yourself through the desert?”