This Cruel Love

JACKSON

I couldn’t stop staring at the boy. It was like looking in the mirror at a seventeen-year-old me. Could Ryley see it too? She wasn’t acting like something was up, but damn, the kid even had some of my mannerisms. He wasn’t as confident as Travis and Ryley. He seemed more reserved, almost as shy as me. He blushed like me too, and fidgeted with his fingernails the same way I did when I got nervous and didn’t know what to do with myself. It made me want to reach out to him, tell him he had nothing to be scared of around me. I got it, I got him, even though I didn’t know him yet.

There was no doubt in my mind that he was my brother. He had my eyes, my hair colour and his jaw was the same square cut as mine. His smile was Ryley’s though, and I found myself daydreaming. Was this what our son would look like? Jeez, we hadn’t even talked about having kids yet and there I was trying to picture them, and they looked just like Nate in my mind. A blend of my girl and me, a mixture of shy and feisty, blonde and black, darkness and light. She would always be my light. I’d lived in the darkness long enough, I liked feeling her sun on my face. She breathed life into me just by being here.

“Anyway, it was nice to meet you, Jackson. I’ll see you Sunday.” Nate shook my hand again and then headed out, leaving Ryley and me alone.

“I’m scared to ask.” She looked at me through her eyelashes. It always made my dick twitch whenever she did that, but now was not the time or the place.

“It’s fine. It’s all good. I got what I came for… well, almost everything.”

She quirked her eyebrow, wrinkling her nose as she did. “What else is there to sort out? We’re not leaving until you get everything you need.”

She was one stubborn-ass woman. I just hoped she’d be open-minded towards me for the next few minutes or I was screwed.

“Let’s take a walk outside.” I strode over to the patio doors that led out to the gardens. “I haven’t been back here for years, I want to see if it’s still the same.”

I held my hand out to her and she skipped over to me, taking my hand and stealing my heart as she did. Damn, who was I kidding? The woman had my heart already. She took it the minute she stalked into my office all those months ago, full of sass and sexy as hell.

We walked hand in hand around the gardens. Nina always kept the flower beds immaculate and the lawns were perfectly manicured. No kids had been wearing out the grass with their games on this lawn recently. The last time I’d seen this garden there were patches of worn out grass all over the damn place. Evidence of where Travis and I had been playing football or building battle forts. I seem to remember Ryley going through a phase of digging up anything she could as well. Her little bucket and spade in her chubby hands as she upended Nina’s prize marigolds.

“What are you smirking at?” Ryley tugged at my arm, pulling me out of my trip down memory lane. “Not that I’m complaining. It’s nice to see that smile. You scowl too much.”

“I do not scowl.” I scowled and she threw her head back and laughed.

“No, you never do that, do you, big man?”

I stopped still and yanked her backwards so she swirled into my arms.

“You make me smile.” I gave her a soft kiss on the end of her cute little button nose and she wrinkled it again.

“Good. That’s my job now,” she said.

I pulled her in for a hug and buried my face into those soft, magical curls of hers. I loved her hair. I always had. It always smelt of some exotic fruits that I never knew the name of, and I could’ve happily stood and inhaled her all day. I was fascinated with how it curled so perfectly and was always bouncy. I started thinking about what it was like to drive into her from behind, grab a fist full of those curls and pull hard. The thought had me feeling all sorts of fucked up shit that was not appropriate to be feeling in plain sight on her parents’ back lawn. I ground my hips against her and she gave me a surprised look.

“Gardens really do it for you then, huh? Good to know.”

“You do it for me,” I growled, then stepped back and subtly adjusted myself in my trousers. No need to put on a show for the folks.

“Is the treehouse still down there?” I pointed towards the trees lining the edge of the garden. “I seem to remember it’s a lot more private down there.”

She bit down on her smile and nodded. “Still there, but I don’t think it’ll take our weight these days.”

It was my turn to throw my head back and laugh. “I wasn’t expecting to get into the damn thing. I’d just like to see it, you know, for old time’s sake.”

She twirled around and pulled me down towards the trees, just like she used to when we were kids.

“Come on, big man. Let’s go and play.”

I loved our treehouse, our little home away from home when we were kids. I seem to remember Travis monopolizing it more than was fair, but there were so many happy memories tied up in that wooden shack. It was the first place we’d hide out in the day, whenever the folks got mad. We even had passwords for our friends to use when they came over, so it felt like ours. We were in control, not just anybody could trespass. It was our sanctuary.

I ducked under the newly overgrown branches to get to the clearing. The wood had seen better days, and a few rungs on the ladder had broken off, but the house itself looked exactly the same.

Jackson strode over to stand right under it, holding onto the ladder as he did.

“So many memories.” He looked around and chuckled to himself when he saw the trickling stream nearby. “You could never be trusted over there.” He pointed to the water and laughed.

“I couldn’t be trusted anywhere.” I shrugged and moved to stand next to him at the base of the treehouse.