Fractured Minds (Rebels of Sandland 3)

“Has Zak gone all ready?” Emily asked as she walked over to Ryan and wrapped her arm around his.

“Yeah. I think he went after Finn. I’ll talk to you in the car.” He winked, and I knew that my love-life––or lack of it––would be the hot topic on their way home. But then thinking about what he was insinuating, that he had something to tell her, made my stomach turn over with fear, followed by dread. Was there something they were hiding from me?

We made our way to the front door, said our goodbyes, and then I followed Harper and Brandon back into the living room. Once it was just the three of us, I started to feel awkward.

“Effy, is it okay if we take a detour before we drop you off home?” Brandon asked. “Only, there’s something I’d like to show you.”

“What the hell are you up to, Mathers?” Harper crossed her arms over her chest and threw accusatory daggers his way.

“Trust me, angel. I think you’ll enjoy seeing this too.”

She smiled to herself and then reached for her coat from the stand.

“Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go.”

Brandon pulled the car into the car park of the local park, and when he turned the engine off, we both looked at him and frowned.

“What the hell are we doing here, babe? It’s freezing out there. Not really park weather.”

He turned to face Harper and then looked back at me sitting in the back seat.

“We aren’t here for the park. There’s something I want to show you.” He pointed towards the far side where there was an underpass leading to nowhere. Everyone who lived around here knew it was the prime spot for the homeless and druggies of Sandland. My mouth went dry. Was he going to show me that Finn was on something or sleeping rough?

Brandon seemed determined though, and despite both mine and Harper’s reluctance, we got out of the car and followed him across the grass. A few families were out with their kids, but it wasn’t busy. The chill in the air kept the park relativel

y empty, and as we ventured further in, the green and slightly muddy grass became dirt, broken bottles and litter. There was a slight incline to walk down as we got nearer to the underpass, and Brandon put his arm around Harper to help her so she didn’t lose her footing. Once he knew she was safe, he turned around and offered his other hand to me, but I shook my head, letting him know I was okay.

I kept my eyes on the floor to make sure I didn’t stumble over a rogue bottle or slip on a can… or worse. When I sensed they’d both stopped in front of me, I stopped too, and when I looked up, I had to reach out to Brandon to stop myself from falling over. There, on the wall amongst the dirt and filth, was a huge painting of my face. It was so big it took up the whole wall. I felt like the rest of the world faded into darkness, muted to black and white as I stared up at myself. The way he’d used flecks of colour in my eyes to make it seem as though I was staring right into my own soul was mesmerising. My hair, layered with so many different browns and gentle highlights, was stunning. I was speechless and I didn’t know how to process what I was seeing or feeling.

“Oh my God,” Harper gasped. “This is beautiful.” She looked up at Brandon with tears in her eyes and then turned to me with a sad smile.

“Did I make a mistake bringing you here?” Brandon asked me as he put his arm around Harper and pulled her closer.

“No. I don’t know what to say though.” I stood frozen to the spot, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the image before me.

“He’s my best friend, Effy. I would do anything for him. I want him to be happy, and you… you make him happy. He can’t tell you how he feels. He struggles to show you, but this…” He gestured to the wall and sighed. “This says it all. He loves you, Effy. I heard what you said back at our apartment, and I know he isn’t the easiest guy to love. I know all about that. But please don’t give up on him. If he lost you, I don’t think he’d ever come back from that.”

I bit my lip, trying desperately to think of something to say.

“I don’t mean to emotionally blackmail you,” he continued. “Or force you into doing something you don’t think is right. But I figured if I showed you this, you’d know that the way you feel, it isn’t one-sided.”

I nodded and concentrated on not free-falling into a total meltdown in the middle of the park.

“He’ll probably kick my ass for showing you, but I think this is the right time.” Brandon reached out and touched my arm, squeezing gently as if he were trying to rouse me out of my vegetative state. “Are you okay?”

“It’s a lot to take in,” I answered as honestly as I could. “I mean, pictures on paper are one thing, but this? This is… everything.”

“He’ll come round. When he’s ready, he’ll open up to you. I know because I did. It just takes time. Time and love. You have that last part, just give him the first, yeah?”

“I’ll give him forever,” I said and a tear fell free.

I knew Finn had been through something bad. I also realised that I needed to listen to the other sounds he made, not just his voice. I had to listen to the meaning behind his actions, his expressions, his body language, and his art. All of it was his way of communicating, and as tough as that was sometimes, it was the only way forward for us, if we were ever going to make it. I had to hear the silence. Accept the unspoken. And live for what I believed… That there wasn’t anyone else in this whole world that made me feel the way that he did, and that was worth fighting for.

One positive about doing the street art in Brinton Manor at this time of the night was that no one was around to see me. I had my lights set up and my equipment ready, but in this part of town, people stayed away. I was thankful for small mercies. At least no one would know it was me. There wasn’t a chance in hell I was adding my tag to this piece. This would forever stay anonymous.

I’d avoided looking at my phone for the rest of the day. The guilt I felt over Effy, and the fact that every one of my friends had probably text to say what an arsehole I was stopped me from checking my inbox. That, and the fear of getting another message from the soldiers. I’d bet Adam Noble, Colton King, and the rest of them were having a right laugh at my expense. Revelling in my misery. I glanced around, wondering if they were watching me now, then realised that hiding in the shadows wasn’t their thing. If they wanted to watch me, they’d stand right next to me, breathing down my neck. They’d enjoy the intimidation and feed off my fear.

I hadn’t planned on putting any thought into this art, but I couldn’t switch off my creativity. At first, I figured I’d just improve the words, make them stand out and look more professional, but as usual, my imagination ran away with me.