Lifting on my toes, I press a kiss to his cheek and hear the breath leave him before I bring my eyes to his. “I love you, Theo Houseman. I just wish you could’ve trusted me enough to let me.”
“Laney!” I hear Devin call out from behind me. “Where in the hell is she!?”
“You take care,” I choke out before leaving him there. I don’t look back, because if I do, I know I’ll never stop.
Grannism—The only one you should ever try and prove yourself to, is the person you were the year before.
Laney
“Max, you’re looking a little peaked,” I whisper as he sloths into the kitchen behind me. “Maybe you should up your naps to ten a day.”
“He’s fourteen,” my mother pipes in behind me as I start the coffee. “You know, we’re lucky to have had him this long. His sight is only going to get worse.”
Searing pain wracks through me as I stare down at him, and he seems to shrug. I’m nowhere near ready for another goodbye. It’s been two days since graduation, and I’m set to leave on my trip tomorrow night. My sperm donor had done me one final solid by funding my overseas trip; courtesy of his guilt. And due to my newly-flattened heart and up in the air status, I decided not to stand on principle, take the money and run. “Don’t Mom, don’t even think about it, or suggest it. Not now, not ever. He’s perfect.”
“Okay,” she says easily. “I just don’t want him to suffer. Lord knows, we’ve seen enough of that around here.”
Swallowing back my emotion, I nod.
“You’ve added six scoops, you plannin’ on needing all that jet fuel today?”
“Shit. Sorry,” I say scooping out the extra coffee. “Worst barista ever.”
“Language. And maybe we could get one of those Keurig thingies.”
“Gran hated the idea. Besides, we’ve never wasted a pot.” My voice is shaking, and I know she can hear it.
“But you won’t be sharing them with me anymore.”
Fear runs through me at the idea of leaving my mother alone. We’ve never really been apart. “I don’t think I should go.”
“Look at me when you talk to me.”
“I’m making coffee, Mom.”
“Elaine Renee.”
Turning to face her, I can see the worry etched on her face.
“What’s wrong? And don’t tell me it’s Max because he’s such a pain in the ass I threaten to put him down daily.”
Swallowing, I shake my head.
“Spill it.”
“I could postpone it for a little while. There’s so much to do around here.”
“No way,” she says. “I’ll be fine. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“You need me here.”
“I need no such thing, busybody. You’re going. Don’t forget I’m the one that raised you. But don’t age me so much.”
“Okay,” I say. “Okay.”
“That’s not all.”
“I don’t know what I want to do, Mom. I’m packed. I have a plan. I have the money. I’m ready. All signs point to go.”