“Thank you,” I said in a robotic answer.
“I just couldn’t bring myself to throw it away, and I—”
“I understand, thank you,” I said as I gripped the stethoscope in equal measure of shock and devastation.
The man started rambling again, and I made quick work of letting him out of the uncomfortable situation.
“Thank you. Really, you did the right thing,” I said hoarsely.
“Again, ma’am, I’m sorry for your loss,” he said as he excused himself and jumped into his truck. I watched him pull away and stood motionless as I willed myself to remain calm. Stethoscope in hand, I walked into my room and fell into bed in a heap. Minutes later, I cleared the bag of the tissue paper and searched for the note I’d seen sitting next to it before I discovered who it was from.
I opened the paper as I braced myself. I studied the first piece and recognized my own handwriting.
I didn’t recall when I wrote it, but it was obvious I was practicing my signature for when I became a doctor. I studied it closely and realized I had been questioning whether or not I would be a single or a married doctor. I held the stethoscope to my chest as I opened the second piece of paper and gasped as I saw Grant’s writing.
Dr. Foster
Darkness.
Dr. Foster
Darkness.
Dr. Foster
I stared at the stethoscope on the pillow next to me, continually alternating the flashlight button on and off my iPhone to illuminate the etched words on the metal.
Dr. Foster
Dr. Foster
Dr. Foster
My eyes burned with unshed tears as I continued to ignore the knock at my door.
“Rose,” I heard Jack call out to me as he began to pound louder on the door. “I’m not leaving until I see you.”
I pulled myself up to sit and stared at my door like the enemy it was. I could feel Jack’s unease grow as his voice hit near hysterics.
“Open the goddamned door!”
I walked over to the door, and thinking better of it, quickly back to the bed, stuffing the stethoscope back inside of the bag and shoving it in my dresser. I turned my bedroom light on as I walked over and unlocked it as Jack jerked it open. “I’ve been calling you nonstop for two fucking hours! I went back to the center and Dallas told me you fainted. What the hell is going on?”
I’d never seen Jack so angry. I stared at him, at a loss of what to say. I knew he deserved the truth, and I was about to take the coward’s way out. Looking at him now, I didn’t have the strength to relive it. Not then, anyway.
“I’m sorry. I fell asleep.”
“And it didn’t occur to you to even wonder where I went?”
“I thought,” I said as my voice grew weak, “I thought I scared you away.”
Jack stood in my doorway as I made my way back to my bed, grabbed a pillow, and held it protectively in front of me. He sighed, scrubbing his face with his hand.
“I’m sorry I got a little irritated, but I just didn’t understand where it was coming from. Then it dawned on me. I know why you want me to stop riding.”
“You do?” I said, slightly relieved. If he knew then I was better off.
“The accident,” he said with a little doubt. “You’re a doctor. I’m sure you’ve seen all kinds of shit I couldn’t imagine.”