“What do I want?” he asked as he took a step forward. I had pushed too hard and now he was spoiling for a fight. “I want your breaths, your minutes, your movements, and to be included in your memories. I want to be the man you run to. I want to be significant. I want you. It’s that simple.
“I fell in love with a beautiful woman. Looks aside, she makes me feel whole and happy. She can turn a shitty day into one worth remembering. She fills me up to the brink. She makes me laugh, and, well, looking at her… it makes my chest ache. And when I kiss her and she kisses me back—really kisses me—I’m convinced no woman will ever kiss me with as much behind it.” He scrutinized me, and I felt my hesitance begin to break him piece by piece.
“Jack,” I started, reeling from his words. He loved me. I felt the lump in my throat build and dissolve as I moved toward him, but he stepped away.
“Your hesitation tells me all I need to know. I don’t want your half-assed love, and I sure as hell can’t compete with whoever the hell it is I’m competing with.”
A large piece of me cracked at the way his cruel words were delivered. “That’s not fair…”
“To who? To me, to him, or to you?”
“Stop it!”
“I’m afraid I can’t. I’m afraid I’ve pretty much cemented this idea of you and me in my head. But, hey, look, no hard feelings. I’m dedicating this bottle to you, and as soon as I take the last drink, I’ll let you go. I’ve obviously misplaced my affection and for that, I apologize.” I watched him take a hearty drink and wipe his mouth with the back of his hand.
Without giving me a chance, he looked up at me with a sneer. “So let me guess…some guy did a number on you, promised the moon and stars but didn’t deliver, and you’re still holding out that he will.”
He looked at me with wary eyes, and though my chest ached to tell him the truth, I couldn’t get the words to pass my lips. Jack’s mind was made up, that much was evident, and when his expression turned dark and expectant, I felt myself go livid with his attitude as truth and explanation died on my tongue.
“Yeah, Jack, you nailed it. I’m jilted and bitter.” I crossed my arms over my chest for false protection.
“Hmph,” he said, staring at the label on his bottle, “thought so.”
“You’re piss drunk. Let me call you a cab.”
“No, baby, I’m pissed and drunk.”
I had to tell him.
“Jack, look at me.”
“I can’t. Looking at you hurts,” he said with a hoarse voice. “It always hurt. I just didn’t know if it would be a good hurt or bad hurt, until now.”
“I never meant to –”
“Well, you did!” Anger rolled off him as he finally faced me, gray eyes blazing. Remorse and deep sadness crossed his features as he struggled with his pain. “And I asked for it.”
The dire need to end his battle raced through me as I watched him. “Jack, what can I say?”
He tilted the bottle up and finished the last of it before turning it over and emptying a few drops on the grass. It was a spiteful move on his part. His eyes penetrated mine as the one word he spoke ripped a piece of me in half. “Nothing.”
Letting my emotions get the best of me, I took a step forward, tore the empty bottle from his hand, and threw it down hard, shattering it on the gravel between us.
“Real fucking mature, Jack. Your bottle is finished and so are we? Just leave,” I said as a tear rolled down my cheek.
I could feel the contempt rolling off him. “You know what I want.”
“I explained this to you. Look, some things have happened and I’m not capable right now. But it doesn’t mean—”
“Of what exactly? I’m not asking you for anything but to acknowledge me, us, this relationship. It’s not much, Rose. Just tell me…I can see you’re in love but with who? I mean, I don’t see anyone else here. Exactly who am I competing with? He sure as hell hasn’t been around the last three goddamn months!”
“Don’t do this, Jack.”
“You’ve never, not once, invited me into your home or your bed. Am I simply entertainment for you?”
“You know that’s not true.” I fisted my hands at my sides as he tore into me.
“I’ve played nice with you because I wanted to, because I wanted you, but just what in the hell are you playing at?”