I was going to have to be careful of her tender heart in the future.
Carrie
Crazy boy has been on his best behavior these last few days, ever since our little breakdown in the shower.
It was kind of cathartic in a way for all that it was embarrassing, I didn’t want him to see me like that, I didn’t want to see me like this, it was horrendous.
My dad was being super protective and cute, it was funny to watch him, and Joshua argue over, well everything, when they thought I was asleep they argued over the TV, when it wasn’t that it was about the temperature in the room.
Since I was always cold Joshua had the thermostat set on Hades, dad was always complaining that he was sweltering.
They never discussed anything too heavy, except once dad brought up Paula and I noticed Joshua glance at my eyes before shaking his head.
He couldn’t tell that I was awake since I barely had my eyes cracked, but I caught the movement of his head.
Matt and Vanessa had come by and apologized, apparently some other kids from school had tried coming by as well but Joshua turned them away.
From what I heard him grumbling to his parents, they were just there for gossip since I never had much to do with them when I was at school any way.
After his folks had left I’d tried reasoning with him that just maybe they were sincere and his answer had been then they could wait until I was home and better. I knew what was really going on in that head of his. He didn’t want to share me with anyone.
I hadn’t quite forgiven Vanessa and Matthew which was strange since I’d forgiven Joshua, then again he hadn’t left me any choice, he’d just been his usual annoying self, not adhering to my wishes to leave me the fuck alone which I think I had yelled at him numerous times those first days after I woke up.
He’d simply told me he was keeping tabs of all my insults and will be exacting retribution in the future.
Yeah, I was waiting to see how long his reformed self was going to hang around, though he’d convinced me that he would never let us get to this point again, I wasn’t for one minute fooled into believing that he would change his domineering ways and the truth is, I like it.
It somehow makes me feel safe, if that makes me sick, then so be it, but it’s what I’ve come to crave from him.
I love the way he tells the hospital staff ‘I’ve got that’ when they try to do something personal for me, or the way he glowers at the orderlies or any other male who comes within spitting distance.
We haven’t done anything sexual obviously, but this new closeness, his arms always around me whether I’m asleep or awake; I could live with that forever.
Chapter 28
Josh
It’s going home day, I’m happy and sad at the same time. Happy that she’s doing well enough to be released, and sad that I’m not going to have her to myself twenty four seven.
In the last three of her seven day stretch in here, I found myself just listening to her. She was a funny kid; she was also sweet as fuck with a heart of gold.
How that happened with a mother like Paula is a miracle but I’m glad it did. It’s as though her defenses were down and I was seeing a whole new side to her.
I don’t think we’ve laughed as much as we did in that hospital bed, where I held her close even while we were awake.
She’d forgiven me and I was learning to forgive myself.
I’d taken to carrying her around everywhere, when she had to go for tests or she just wanted to walk around, the chair my dad had had provided for her would be left sitting in the corner of the room and I would carry her like a baby.
The nurses all thought it was cute, I wasn’t trying to be cute, it was just the beginning of my taking care of the lamb.
Her father came to take her home, but my old hellion raised her head and insisted that I was to do it, Captain who was still a little peeved at me just raised his hands up in surrender and stepped aside.
“Joshua I won’t break just put me down already.” She was laughing at me, we were standing outside the hospital at the passenger side of my Ranger, and I was nervous as fuck for some reason.
“Promise me that I’ll see you every day.”
She looked at me like I had two heads.
“What, why wouldn’t you?”
“I don’t know.....” I shook my head.
“I guess I just got used to having you to myself all the time, it’s gonna take some getting used to not being there with you, especially when you sleep.”