‘Hi,’ she says. ‘I saw you come in with the boss.’ Her accent is quite strong, possibly Russian.
‘Yes,’ I say shyly. It’s going to take some time before I get used to thinking of Shane as my boyfriend.
‘I’m Nikki,’ she introduces.
‘You can call me Snow.’
‘Snow. Beautiful name for beauty.’
‘Oh, thank you, but you’re the real beauty here.’
She waves my compliment away modestly. ‘It’s all make-up. You should see me in the morning.’
‘I don’t believe that for an instant,’ I tell her. And that’s the truth. She would be beautiful without any make up. She’s perfect in every way. Tall, blonde, big breasts, stunning.
Haven’t I seen you here before?’ she asks opening her little clutch purse.
‘Not really,’ I say awkwardly.
She takes her lip gloss and unscrews it. ‘Yes, I have. I never forget a face. In this business you need to have a good memory.’ She smiles. ‘You know, which customer likes which move …’ She lets the sentence hang and applies a layer of gloss onto her bee stung lips and then turns to look at me again.
‘It’s been nice meeting you. Maybe I’ll see you around,’ I say.
She narrows her eyes at me. ‘Ah, I remember now. You’re Lenny’s woman.’ And she smiles happily. ‘I knew I had seen you before. Lenny is a good customer of mine,’ she says with a knowing wink. ‘But between you and me you’ve done well to dump him for Shane. Lenny’s very generous and all, but Shane’s brilliant in bed, isn’t he?’
I freeze. ‘I beg your pardon.’
‘Oh don’t worry. I’m not jealous or anything. We finished ages ago. I know all about his,’ she makes air quotation marks, ‘have cock will travel’ rules. He’s had at least twenty women since we broke up.’
‘What?’
She widens her eyes. ‘Oh, I didn’t mean to shock you or anything. I didn’t know you thought it was serious. Take it as a friendly warning, dahling, it’s never serious with Shane. He’s a total manwhore with a frisky donkey dick, but that’s what makes him so good in bed. Look, don’t worry about it. Just enjoy it while it lasts. Just don’t let him break your little heart. Good luck, sweetie.’
I think of Shane. The way we made love. Have cock will travel!
My throat clogs. I’m so fucking pathetic. You don’t eat all the candy from the candy shop. Again and again I make the same mistake. I trust the wrong people. He doesn’t eat all the candy just the best pieces.
But he told me I was his. I belonged to him.
The air suddenly feels chilled. Her words are like frost covering my heart. Gooseflesh crawls on my skin. I feel cold. So cold. Even colder than when I stumbled out of that hotel room.
God, how stupid I’ve been. Of course a man as beautiful as he is will have loads of women after him. Of course he is a player. Look how he chased me even after he saw me with Lenny. I can’t believe I never saw it until now.
There is no puzzle to put together. A child could have worked it out. I was just too idiotic, too unhappy to see it. And there I was besotted, thinking he was the other half of my soul. He is just a courteous, charming player. Disgust crawls over my skin. I feel humiliated and used, again. All I want to do is run away.
Malicious amusement at my naivety glints in her eyes. Unshed tears scorch the backs of my eyes. I won’t give her the satisfaction.
‘Leave me alone now,’ I say. My voice is strangely detached.
I drop my eyes to my hands. They are still wet. I need to dry them. I walk over to the hand drier and hold my hands inside the machine. Hard jets of air blow on them. I hear the door open and close and I crumple. For a second I stand where I am with my back to the door, the poison spreading into my body, and then I walk to the it and stand just inside it. Afraid to open the open the door.
Oh, my poor heart. It still wants to believe.
But the cold truth was undeniable. She is right. I always knew he was a playboy, but I could not help myself, and after a while I started to believe in him. But if this stunning creature couldn’t keep him, what hope have I?
I have let Shane break my heart.
I open the door and the beautiful night creatures are going about their fun and laughter. Nothing has changed for them, but for me it feels as if I am dying. I start walking towards the entrance. I can make out Nikki. Her face is turned towards me, her claws sheathed, but her eyes filled with dark interest. I feel every cliché: the ground dropping out beneath my feet, my whole world shattering before my eyes, and our life together vanishing in a cloud of smoke.