He shrugged. “Okay, I guess. My friends are smothering me, so I don’t have time to think about things too much.”
“Anyone beat Gunner at Madden yet?” I asked.
He smiled. “Nope. Just you.”
The door opened and Mr. Elbert walked in. “Heard y’all had a rattler in here,” he said.
“Yes sir,” I replied. “Asa got it out for us.”
Mr. Elbert owned the hardware store across the street. He shook his head and whistled. “Lawd, lawd, ain’t those nasty little SOBs. Lawd a mercy.” He then slapped Asa on the back. “Good on you, boy. Good on you.” Then he headed back to get his regular lunch. A tall can of Bud Light, a Slim Jim, and a bag of pork rinds.
“I needed to get gas, but I wanted to come in and say hello,” Asa said to me. “I, uh, need to pay.”
I shook my head. “No. Momma said free gas—you saved us from a rattlesnake.”
“Okay,” he said, and he looked like he wanted to say something else but just said “Bye” and left me there.
Although I knew there was no “us,” it was still going to hurt when things like that happened and reminded me.
JULY 30, 2020 Life Didn’t Stop
CHAPTER 39
ASA
The bonfire lit up the night. The trucks parked all around, the keg of beer in its place of honor, and the music playing from Nash’s truck were a part of this place. The only thing that was different was the cross with flowers, footballs, letters, framed pictures of Hunter, and some stuffed animals surrounding it.
I didn’t think we’d ever come back here. Hunter’s murder had kept everyone from this patch of ground since February. When Ryker and Aurora had mentioned having a party here before we all started leaving for college, I’d been surprised. Ryker said Hunter would have wanted us to be here. He’d have wanted us to do a toast to him.
Now we were back. Talking about Hunter, our memories with him, our memories on this field, and our memories on the Lions field. It should feel good. It was a closure I didn’t anticipate we’d ever get. I agreed that Hunter would have wanted this. If souls got to live on, then he was here with us. Enjoying the hell out of it. I hadn’t thought much about souls until Momma died. Believing we each had a soul and that Momma’s was out there watching me, still close, helped.
I looked over at Ryker. His arm was around Aurora’s shoulders, holding her close to him as he talked to Walker McNair and Rifle Hannon. Walker and Rifle were the seniors now. The Lions was their team. I was sure Ryker was giving them stories of our past victories as if they hadn’t been on the field too. Life didn’t stop. Time moved on. People died and we had to keep living. Finding joy in things again wasn’t easy. Not when that hole was in your life where they used to be. I hoped it got easier.
This was our last field party, and I should be enjoying it. Soaking it up. Instead I was sitting on the old tractor tire away from everyone else. Watching the scene but not being a part of it. I was glad Ryker could do this. He and Aurora seemed okay. I guess one day I would be too.
“You gonna hide out there all night and drink by yourself?” Nash asked, walking around the truck with a red plastic cup in his hand.
“Possibly,” I replied.
“You leave tomorrow. Might as well call her. Leaving town without talking to her isn’t going to help. You need her. Accept it. Give up and call her already.”
I stared at him. I didn’t tell him about going to the store last week. I’d been about to give in and accept that I wanted her in my life. I didn’t like being away from her. I missed her.
“How’s Ryker doing?” I asked instead of responding.
“You know Ryker is fucking fine. You can see from where you’re sitting. You’re changing the subject.”
I shrugged, then took a drink of the beer I was holding. “We went on a few dates. What do you expect me to do? Profess my love to her? Have a dramatic good-bye? We aren’t you and Tallulah.”
He muttered a curse. “You can lie to yourself all you fucking want to, but I’ve known you all my life. Not once have I seen a girl get under your skin. Not once have I seen you react to one this way. You love her. Don’t admit it. Don’t say it. But that don’t make it not true.”
I glared at him. Why wouldn’t he leave this alone? Let me fucking be. Jesus! I was done with his meddling.
“I don’t love her,” I said.
He rolled his eyes. “Really? Okay. Let me ask you this. Do you think about her every day multiple times?”