What Lovers Do

I have … nothing. Nothing to say. Not a word.

I forgot I told him that story. And he remembered. I feel a little less stupid for temporarily falling for Jimmy. He’s a lot of things.

A lot of awful things.

A lot of disgusting things.

A lot of annoying things.

And he’s sometimes sweet. Sometimes sexy. Sometimes funny.

“Hercules. Right? That’s what you named him.”

I feel my face losing the fight. I grin. He remembers the name of my snake.

“Miss?” The guy from the security company pokes his head into the living room. “Do you want to set a code?”

Jimmy sticks his fingers in his ears and smiles. That. Right there. It’s the Jimmy that I said “yes” to one date. And another. And another.

I’m not losing my mind. Swoon-worthy Jimmy did exist.

As the weeks pass, Jimmy’s the perfect roommate. He works. Cooks and cleans. Walks Cersei and takes daily showers. He buys all the groceries and spends his evenings searching online for homes in the area.

I stop the eviction process, and he promises to make himself scarce if my family comes to visit. Luckily, my dad and Taryn postpone their visit by another month. I haven’t told them I’m no longer golfing with Shep or seeing him at all.

I miss him. I have yet to go a full day without thinking about him. Without contemplating calling him just to hear his voice.

“Dr. Ryan.” Jules smiles when I enter the exam room.

“Do you need reading glasses? Last I knew, you had twenty-twenty vision.”

She messes with the controls to the chair like a child. “Nope. But feel free to charge me for an exam. I decided it’s the only way you’d give me more than two seconds of your time. You’ve been avoiding me.”

I sit on my stool and cross my legs. “I’ve been busy.”

“Liar. Jimmy’s still living with you. I’m not stupid. Are you two back together? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? I’m sure it’s embarrassing. And it will be quite the story to tell your kids someday. ‘Hey, kids. Mommy used to hate Daddy and she tried to legally evict him.’”

Rolling my eyes, I chuckle. “It would be quite the story. But no. That’s not happening. Yes, he’s still living with me. But I’m good with it. I don’t actually see him. He did buy a house, but he’s renovating it. So he’s doing his phone sales thing during the day, and right about the time I get home from work, he’s heading out the door to work on his house. And I’m asleep by the time he gets back to my house.”

“And he knows you’re pregnant?”

“No.”

She glances at my stomach. “Do you have a bump yet?”

I lift my coat and blouse. “Barely.”

“Bitch.”

I laugh. “Dad and Taryn were supposed to visit last month. And we were going to tell them about the baby, but they had to reschedule. They were going to come visit this month, but we’re making the rounds instead.”

“Making the rounds?”

“Chloe, Mason, and I are going to see my mom and grandma and tell them. Then we’re making a stop at Mason’s parents’ house to tell them. And our last stop will be Dad and Taryn’s. Then … I will tell everyone here at work and Jimmy too.”

“And Shep?”

“He knows.”

“Yes. But have you talked to him lately? Does he know about your roommate?”

“I haven’t talked to him in over six weeks. I don’t shop at the store or take Cersei to the park where we used to hang out. He doesn’t want to see me. And I’m respecting that.”

“I think that’s terrible of him.”

I shake my head. “No. It’s not terrible of him. We were never meant to be anything more than friends. It sucks that we’re not really even friends now, but that’s life. I’m not asking him to fall in love with a pregnant woman. I’m not asking him to wait until my life, my body, and my house are mine again. It’s a big ask. It’s too much. If he loved me, he’d …” my train of thought falls off a cliff because I don’t know what I think he would do if he loved me. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you make all the right decisions.

“He’d wait forever. That’s what you do when you love someone. You wait forever.”

I shrug. “I don’t know. There has to be something in the middle of selfless and selfish. Right? Lord knows my luck with men has taught me that lesson. I think it’s time for Shep to think about Shep. He’s been through a lot with his ex-wife. It’s okay to choose yourself sometimes.”

“Says the woman carrying her sister’s baby and housing the homeless.”

I smirk. “Do you know how many times I’ve had to talk myself off the ledge? How many times I’ve felt on the verge of completely losing it? I did actual internet searches on ways to kill someone without evidence. And then I hear Shep talk about his pregnant ex-wife. I witness Jimmy lose his job, then his grandma, then his mother. And do you know what I’ve come to realize?”