“I’ll get you something to wear. You go and take your shower,” he says with a timid smile.
I don’t protest much. I want to get rid of these clothes that reminds me of that nightmarish night as well as erasing the smell and touch of that asshole. I notice I’m getting over that experience far better than I should be all thanks to Ashton. My heart grows with gratitude instead of being confused by him.
“Okay… thank you,” I whisper.
He showed me where the bathroom was, handing me some fresh towels and clothes. I thank him again and close the door behind me. The bathroom that has the same rustic design as the rest of the house. It feels different to be in his private place. To let people in your house is like letting them into your life and I can’t help but feel that Ashton let me in his life by allowing me to stay here.
I shake my head and try to stop the growing feelings I’m beginning to have for him, I know it won’t end well since he already has his own demons to deal with. He really doesn’t need to add me into the mixture.
I try to be quick with my shower, but as warm water works its wonder to my body, I take my time instead. When I get out of the shower, I wear the grey sweatpants with a white t-shirt. I pull them as tight as I can then put on the grey sweater over it to cover my breasts.
~*~
Ashton is in the living room, sitting in front of the fireplace with the distant look upon his face. He doesn’t even notice me coming into the room. His knees are bent in front of him, his eyes are focused on the fire as he sips from the bottle in his hand. The fire makes shadows on his face. I decide to sit on the couch at the furthest corner of the room, not having the heart to bother him in his peaceful bubble. But as he must sense me, he turns to look at me, patting the big pillow next to him.
I sat down next to him, and he grabbed another bottle from the other side of him, extending it to me. This silence was different than the one when he tried to ignore me. This time he was accepting me in his own bubble; this time we are both content in our silence.
I took a big sip from my beer and watched him as he watched the fire. They both looked dangerous but hypnotizing at the same time, I couldn’t take my eyes away from him. Our eyes locked when he turned to look at me. My breath hitches in my throat; my mouth was suddenly dry. Clearing my throat, I look away to the fire. They say fire is dangerous, but at the moment, the man sitting next to me could cause a lot more damage that those flames; it looked less dangerous for my heart than the man sitting next to me.
I feel his eyes on me as I kept watch on the fire, I didn’t want to meet his eyes; I don’t trust my reaction. Especially after a taste of alcohol.
“Are you okay?” he asks with a low voice. His voice deep, intense just like everything about him.
I gulp down the rest of the bottle before answering, “Mm, I’m alright.”
I wait for him to answer even though I know he won’t. I catch a glimpse of him nodding his head before turning my body toward him.
“I’m sorry, Ashton,” I say after a moment of silence.
He frowns. “For what?”
“For being a problem for you. I know you came here for some kind of peace and I’m just an unnecessary burden to you.” I say, playing with the silver bracelet on my wrist.
I look up, confused, when he says, “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Writing yourself off like you’re not more important than my peace because you are.”
I gasp, tears well up in my eyes. I have never felt important for anyone after losing my parents. There was only Toby, but he was always there with me since we were kids. But now hearing Ashton say something like that… I sighed.
Who would have guessed he could have said something as sweet as that?
He’s easily drawing out emotions from me like no one else could before, making me a ball of feelings even with only his one look.
“I need another drink,” I said and leaned down to grab the whiskey bottle I saw on his other side, but the pillow slips under me, making me fall right into Ashton’s arms.
My hands are on his hard chest for balance, the heat from his body radiated through me, making me dizzier than any alcohol is able too. My eyes are moving back and forth between his eyes and his mouth. His lips part with the breath he takes. My hands move on their own accord, I slowly caress his beard covered cheek, it’s soft and ticklish at the same time; I want to feel it on my cheeks, my neck, and so much more.
Closing my eyes, and breathe in his scent, he smells like wood, rain, and ice as much as fire. His smell is intoxicating, it’s ingrained itself into my mind; I know I will never forget this scent: him.
We breathed in on another. Our lips inches apart, but not touching and I don’t know why but it is so much hotter than any kiss can be like we are at the line that will ruin or rescue us… and I’m willing to cross that line if he is, too. The consequences can fuck themselves, the fact that we don’t know each other well enough can shut the hell up.
I open my eyes so I can see him, but his eyes are closed with a painful expression on his raw and beautiful face.
“You don’t have to,” I whisper, and he opens his eyes almost like he is waking up from a trance. I expect him to pull back, but he doesn’t; he continues to look into my eyes with the same intensity.
Leaning into him I let my lips touch his, almost like a whisper and pull back with a smile.