I zoned out for most of my class and only tapped back in when it was time to pass back our graded assignments that we turned in last week. Hannah, Nick, and I turned in a rough draft of our business plan for our final senior project. It took forever to draft, but we put in the time and effort to flesh out each section of our business idea. I had a good feeling about the work we did.
“Palmer,” the TA read off my group’s paper before handing me back our rough draft.
I thanked the TA before looking down at our assignment, my eyes widening at the sight of a 75 written on the top of the first page in red pen. I blinked a few times, trying to process the fact that we got a C on an assignment that we all worked really hard on. We researched all of the different parts of a business plan and tried to envision our idea to the best of our ability.
Obviously, that hadn’t been good enough. Disappointment crashed over me like a wave, leaving behind a wake of sadness. I was glad that it was just the rough draft, but we had so much to improve on before our final project was due. It was too late in the game for me to be messing up and making such bad grades. I couldn’t fail my capstone class. I couldn’t fail anything.
Ever since I was young, I was pushed to succeed, whether that involved school or hobbies. I had to be one of the best. Truthfully, my parents just pushed me to do my best. I put it into my own mind that I had to be the best or close to it. I was addicted to success. That led to me putting off relationships, crazy nights with friends, and spontaneous road trips until later. For now, I wanted to graduate and get set up for a successful life after college.
Maybe that made me boring, but it was a sure plan. It meant that I didn’t fail or waste my time in college. I wanted the last four years to be worth it because they were hard. This internship was difficult. I just wanted all of this to pay off in the end so that I could enjoy life and reap the benefits of my hard work later on.
Things were looking pretty bleak right now, though. I nearly failed the first draft of my final project, which I had to pass to graduate. I was so worried about losing my internship when I should’ve been more focused on my capstone class. I felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on me. Now, I was drenched in stress.
When I left class, I lingered outside of the business building, looking over my rough draft over and over again to try to figure out how I could improve it. I had to tell Hannah and Nick about our bad grade too, but I didn’t want to bother them right now while they were at their conference. We could talk about it later. We had to figure out a different approach together anyway because what we did obviously didn’t work.
By the time I finally snapped back to reality, I realized that I should’ve left campus for work fifteen minutes ago. I cursed and darted to my car in a nearby parking lot, tossing my bag in my passenger seat before gunning it to work. I chastised myself under my breath as I neared Ashland Consulting’s building. I couldn’t believe work completely slipped my mind.
I was going to be late. Again. Maybe I deserved to be fired. I hadn’t been the best intern lately. Even Sara was outdoing me because she at least got to work on time. Meanwhile, I was parking terribly in the first space that I saw and running to work a few minutes late. If I didn’t run into anyone, I could say that I had to run to the restroom or that I left my bag in the car.
I rushed in and out of the elevator once it stopped on the fifteenth floor of the building. I hardly managed to take two steps before I had to stop in my tracks right in front of Tyler, who gave me a perplexed look. I couldn’t even stop the groan that broke from me, my eyes dropping to the ground. I was caught.
“I’m sorry,” I said. I wasn’t in the mood to argue with him or play our usual game.
“Thank you for finally blessing us with your presence. Are you here to do some good work today?” Tyler asked me as he crossed his arms over his chest, cocking an eyebrow at me. He sounded a hint more playful today than usual. At least he didn’t sound like a total jerk.