“That’s so wrong.”
“I had no choice. I had to agree.”
She looked at her hands, her fingers moving restlessly. “There’s a bar in Riverstoke—they’re always looking to hire people. My friend Amber and her husband own it. And they do open mic nights.” At my startled look, she quickly added, “If you ever wanted to visit, I mean. Bring your guitar.”
“You’d like that?”
“Yes.”
“I’d like that too…” My voice trailed off at the thought of spending more time with her after we left here.
“But?”
I turned so I was facing her. “I like you, Maggie. I like you a lot.”
“I like you too.”
“You’re going to a new life, and I have to somehow come to terms with what sort of life I have waiting for me. I don’t want to start something with you that’s only going to end up with heartache for both of us.” I reached for her hand, holding it tight. “I don’t know when I could come and see you, or even if I could for a while. In the meantime, I don’t want you passing up other opportunities.”
“Other opportunities?”
“Maggie—you’re lovely. Truly beautiful. You’re the whole package. Some guy, probably several, will see you and want to take you out.” I had to pause and swallow at the pain just thinking about the next words caused me. “And once they get to know you, they’ll want you to belong to them. I can’t even bear the thought of that.”
“So you think it’s best to not even try?”
“I can’t ask you to put your life on hold while I try to figure out mine. That’s not fair—to either of us.”
She yanked her hand away, looking annoyed. “What if I said I wanted to? Maybe I’m not interested in other opportunities.”
I sighed. “You should be. I’m not a good horse to hedge your bet on.”
“I disagree.”
“I adore you for thinking that. But this is simply a moment in time. For both of us.”
Hurt filled her eyes. “I thought it was more—I thought you felt it too.”
“I do, but it can’t happen. I refuse to let you think it can. I won’t lie to you.”
For a moment, she was silent. Then she nodded and turned away. “Thanks for being honest.”
I swallowed the painful lump in my throat. I was being anything but. I wanted to tell her we’d call and text. I would come and see her whenever I could. I wanted to explore this—whatever this was—with her. I’d never felt anything remotely close for another person as I did for her, even in the short time since we’d met. She’d shown me more care than anyone had in my life in years, and I wanted more. However, I was too worried if I said all that, I would hurt her—more than I just had. Dragging it out would only be worse, I told myself.
“I’ll change my seat if you want. I understand if you don’t want to be around me anymore.”
She shook her head. “No, Sebastian, it’s fine. We’re, ah, good.”
I reached over and cupped her chin, turning her face to mine. Her eyes were sad and yet still so gentle as they looked at me. I stroked my thumb over her soft skin. “I wish, more than you know, it could be different.”
“So do I.” She smiled and lifted her shoulder, trying to lighten the moment. “I could have used your construction expertise to help me fix up the house.”
Before I could say anything, she drew back. “I’m kinda tired. I’m going to try to sleep. You’ll keep watch on the bags?”
“Of course.”
She turned away and slouched down, her head on her backpack. It took everything in me not to reach over and turn her toward me so she cuddled against me with her head on my lap. I knew I had lost the right to ask her now.
I glanced at my watch. Our flight was due to leave in two hours. If it was on time, that meant I had only a few more hours with Maggie.
Six more hours of pretending that what I had just told her was the truth. Of ignoring how it felt when I kissed her. How right her hand felt in mine. Of how the thought of saying goodbye to her was making my chest ache. How my head hurt at the mere thought of her walking away from me.
These were going to be the longest and most painful hours of my life.
CHAPTER FIVE
SEBASTIAN
We both tried to be what we’d been before I lied to her. But it didn’t work. When she sat up, after having pretended to sleep for a while, we were awkward and the conversation stilted. I asked her more questions about her little house, offering suggestions when she described the creaking porch and the roof that always leaked in the one corner. In her own way, she was as quietly supportive as before, encouraging me to find a way to continue with my music and find a life that fulfilled me.