“I don’t think you can be happy without your music, Sebastian. It’s part of you. For your father to take that away is simply wrong.”
She was right about that; I was angry with my father for that nonnegotiable condition. Music meant so much to me, and I resented him for making me leave it behind.
But if I were given the choice, I would give it up—if I could keep her.
But I had no choice.
I couldn’t have either of them.
We boarded the plane, and I let her slip into the window seat. Outside, the sun was bright on the whiteness of the snow, the airport now busy and filled with activity.
I noticed her fidgeting, and I leaned closer. “Does flying make you nervous?”
She nodded and allowed me to hold her shaking hands. She didn’t even object when I lifted them up and kissed her knuckles. She calmed down once we were airborne. All around us, passengers were sleeping—the entire plane quiet. So many had been trapped all night, and now that they were on their way to their destinations, relief won out and they relaxed, knowing the end of the long wait was in sight.
Maggie leaned her head back, closing her eyes. I noticed the dark circles under them, as well as the dampness that lingered in the corners, and cursed myself because I knew I had a hand in both. She was trying so hard to pretend she was fine, but I knew she wasn’t.
I wasn’t either.
I kept her hand in mine and watched her, my mind going as fast as the plane we were in. The more the miles flew by, the more the ache in my chest grew. Maggie would walk away from me soon, and I’d never see her again. I’d head to BC and the life my father insisted I had to live, and she would make her own way in the small town, hundreds of miles away from me.
I would go to an apartment I’d never seen and live there. My father would make sure it was decent and I had what I needed to live. Maggie would go to her little house and try to fix it up and make a life for herself. She would struggle to make ends meet and fight to hold on to the place she thought of as home. My father’s plan would enable me to live well, but it wouldn’t feel like home. Like my life.
Both of us would struggle for different reasons.
Both of us surrounded by people, yet alone.
I’d always felt alone—except for the past few hours. With Maggie beside me, I hadn’t felt that way. For the first time in my life since my mother died, I felt as though I was complete again—as if I mattered.
I mattered to Maggie.
She mattered to me.
If we were together, things would be different. If I chose differently, both our lives could change.
Thoughts, ideas, and images began taking shape in my head.
If I changed my mind.
If I asked Maggie to let me go with her. Not to visit, but to stay.
We could find and build a life we both were happy in—together. Fixing up her little house and making it ours. I could find a job; I could do anything. I wasn’t afraid of hard work. She said the bar in her little town hired a lot. It would be a job that would still allow me to play my music without my father’s restrictions. I could do it all—work and make music and be happy. It was never the limelight that I sought, simply the chance to play and share my music.
I looked at Maggie, studying her face. She’d encourage me to do both. I knew she would. We could figure out a way for her to go back to school and finish her degree. It wouldn’t be easy—any of it, but we could do it.
I suddenly saw two very different paths.
A life in which I did as my father asked and planned for me. A stable life of security and blandness. One without music or light, where I was comfortable but simply existed.
Or…
I could start one of total unknowns. Living in a strange city, with a woman I barely knew, yet wanted to know so much more. A life where we would have to struggle to make it work, but I knew would be filled with laughter and love and where music and happiness would be paramount. A life where the smile of the small, russet-haired angel next to me would be the best reward I could ask for.
I sucked in a deep breath.
I was about to do something drastic.
Even more drastic than asking my father for help.
I was about to ask for another chance and change my future. Risk it all to find a home where I belonged. I was about to follow Maggie home.