The roar of my Mustang’s engine vibrated through the seats as I pulled into my neighborhood, and I was pretty sure everyone else could hear me coming. I hadn’t known when I’d get out of the office, so I hadn’t told Cade or Moira. I wanted it to be a surprise, especially as summer had just started. I’d be able to spend some much-needed time with them and rebuild what I’d lost over the last six months.
I pulled into my driveway and parked next to Moira’s SUV, half expecting Cade to come running out of the house. I shook my head. It was eight in the morning, and it was the first week of summer. Of course, he was still in bed.
Inhaling a deep breath, I pushed the car door open and stepped out. The sun was high in the sky, that fresh feeling of a new morning surrounding the neighborhood of large houses and pristine front yards. This was what I’d always worked toward, and I’d finally made it. So why did I feel like I didn’t belong here?
“Brody?” Moira’s soft voice called. “Is that you?”
I whipped my head around and grinned over at her. “It’s me,” I told her, taking three giant steps and wrapping my arms around her waist.
She clung to my shoulders, her tinkle of laughter flowing around us. “Careful! You’ll flash all the neighbors my underwear.”
I chuckled and let her go, framing her face with my hands, and placing a gentle kiss on her lips. “I’m home.”
“I can see that.” Her fingers gripped my arms, and she blinked up at me. Her face was bare of any makeup, her hair a mess from having slept all night, and it was the most beautiful I had seen her. This was the Moira I remembered, not the one she tried to be when everyone else was around.
“How long are you home for this time?”
“I…” I let out a breath and pulled my hands from her face. “I’m not sure. The case is finished, and I have a day before I need to get back into the office to brief everyone.”
She twirled around and walked inside the house. “I have plans today, but I'll call and cancel them.”
“Oh.” I closed the door behind me and shivered at how cold the house was. I’d never been one to like the cold, much preferring the heat, but Moira hated to sweat. “You don’t have to cancel them—”
“It’s fine.” She waved her hand in the air as she walked through the living room and into the kitchen. “It was just for my hair and nails. I can reschedule them for tomorrow.”
“Right.” I sat down at one of the bar stools, staring at her as she walked around the kitchen and pulled cups out of a cupboard I was sure held something else only a couple of weeks ago. Was it bad that I didn’t even know where things were in my own home?
“Dad? You home?”
I perked up as Moira started the coffee machine and then heavy footsteps were blasting down the stairs, and a grinning Cade was running toward me. Most teenage kids didn’t want to hug their dads, but they didn’t go months without seeing them. The main thing on my list was to rebuild my relationship with him. He didn’t deserve to have an absent father, and even though Moira had done all she could, he needed me more now than ever.
r />
I squeezed the life out of him and ruffled his hair. “I’m home, kid.”
My stomach dipped as the word echoed around me. The last time I’d said that it was to Lola. Lola. I couldn’t allow myself to think about her, because if I went down that rabbit hole right now, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to burrow my way back.
I was aware I was compartmentalizing, but what else was I meant to do? Run to her, tell her everything would be okay and we could be together? I wasn’t a fool. I knew where I stood. Right here, with my wife and son. So why did it feel like I was cheating on Lola? It shouldn’t have made my chest hurt, it shouldn’t have had my palms sweating, but it did.
“Will you come and see my lacrosse practice?” Cade asked as he pulled back.
“You have practice? It’s summer, right?”
Cade rolled his eyes and sat next to me at the same time Moira passed me a cup of coffee. She leaned against the counter, her eyes on her cell as she typed away furiously. Was this what every morning in the house was like when I wasn’t here?
“Yeah, it’s summer. But they have lacrosse camp this year.”
“Ahhh.” I took a sip of the coffee and cringed. What the hell had she put in this? It was like drinking a cup of sugared milk. “Then, yeah, I’ll come. What time do you have to leave?”
Cade flicked his gaze at the giant clock sitting on the wall. “In an hour. Is that okay?”
My lips kicked up into a grin, and I stood. “Hell yeah, it is.” I walked around the counter, my attention moving to Moira, who was smiling down at her cell. “I’m gonna take a shower, and then we can grab some breakfast burritos on the way.” I dumped the “coffee” down the sink and ruffled Cade’s hair on the way past.
Today would be the start of a new life for the three of us. I’d put the case behind me, and reevaluate everything. It was time I was home more, and hopefully, after being gone so long for this op, we’d have some real time off and be in the offices more.
I took the stairs two at a time and headed into our bedroom, a bedroom I’d spent more time away from than in. It wasn’t home to me, not yet at least. But I told myself I’d try. I’d try my hardest to put everything behind me and continue on the path that I’d created for myself fifteen years ago. Now all I had to do was put Lola behind me, and not think about her.
Easier said than done.