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LOLA
Summer brought with it a whole new routine for the diner. There wasn’t an influx at certain times anymore. Instead, we had a pretty steady flow with no real slow hours. I wasn’t sure whether I liked it like this more or not, but it allowed me not to think about everything that was going on.
Jan asked if I was going to tell Sal about everything this morning, just like she had for the last week and a half. But I wasn’t ready. If I said it out loud to someone else, then it made it all the more real. It wasn’t that I didn’t know what I was going to do, because there was never a doubt in my mind, but I told myself I was waiting for the three-month mark. People always said that when you were twelve weeks along you were out of your danger zone. And it would give me four weeks to wrap my head around everything.
I was a jumbled mess. I’d gone back and forth, not knowing how to feel about everything that had happened. Things had gone from bad to good, then worse, then good, and then apocalyptic. And then I’d thrown myself at Brody hours after finding out I was pregnant. It was a stupid move, but at least he’d told me how he really felt.
You’re not enough.
I stumbled as I walked toward my section, his voice ringing so clear in my mind. He’d said he loved me, but that I wasn’t enough, and part of me wanted to hold on to the “L” word like a life raft and never let go, but the rational side of my mind told me to push it away and sink. The only thing I was sure of was I was keeping this baby and I loved it with everything I had already.
“Hi, can I take your—” I flicked my gaze up, and the first thing I saw was Cade’s grin. I had a millisecond where I didn’t glance anywhere else, afraid of what I’d see on the other side of the booth. But I didn’t have a choice, and my body already knew he was there without me having to confirm it. “Order?” I whispered out the last word.
“Hey, Lola!” Cade beamed up at me, his face a sweaty mess.
“Hi, Cade.” I tried to pull my lips up into a smile, I really freaking did, but he was here, with his family.
God, his family.
A throat cleared, and I whipped my head around to face Moira, who was staring at Brody who was...staring at me.
Shit. This was not good. Not good at all.
Don’t look him in the eyes, Lola. Don’t you dare do it, don’t you—
Crap, I looked him in the eyes.
His words, the last time we saw each other, had said one thing, but the way his gaze was focused on me, and the clench of his jaw, told me another. He was holding himself back from saying or doing anything. I wasn’t sure why that gave me the satisfaction I needed to say, “Have you looked at the menus yet?”
His head reeled back at the sound of my voice, and I raised a brow. Maybe he was fooling himself with what he told me, or maybe I was fooling myself into thinking I saw something in his eyes and the way his body moved. Either way, a genuine smile pulled at my face as Cade tried to order a burger.
“Cade,” Moira admonished. “What did I say about meat—”
“He needs the protein,” Brody replied gruffly. “He just spent two hours training. Let the boy eat what he wants.”
Moira huffed and shook her head. “You’re too soft on him.” Her voice was like whiplash, but what annoyed me the most was the way Cade’s shoulders slumped and the way he looked down at the table.
“And I told you if you don’t want to eat meat that’s fine, but you can’t push it on us,” Brody replied, turning his body toward her.
She scoffed. “Okay, Brody. It’s not like you’re here most of the time anyway. You let him eat meat for the next week or however long you’re home for, and then he can go back to not eating dead animals when you’re gone.”
“Not this again.” Brody huffed out a breath and ran his palm down his face. “I have to fuckin' work, Moira. Who the hell do you think pays for that big house? Who pays for those expensive clothes—”
“It’s fine,” Cade said, his voice low. “I’ll have the—”
“Are you seriously going there?” Moira screeched, her brows high on her forehead. She crossed her arms over her chest, but Brody didn’t make a move to look down at her. And I was here, staring at their argument in both horror and fascination.
“Yeah, I’m going there. You can’t be on my case about going away for work but then spend said money on shit you don’t even like!”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Moira ground out. “I do like that stuff. Not that you’d know, because you’re never home!”
Her shout brought me out of the trance I had been in watching them, and I glanced over at Cade. His chin was to his chest, his hands clenched on the table in the same way Brody’s was, and I...I couldn’t let him sit here and listen to this. They were off in their own world, but he didn’t need to be there with them—just like I didn’t.
I leaned forward and placed my hand on Cade’s arm. He jerked and stared up at me. “Come on,” I whispered, and tilted my head to the side.
He pushed out of the booth, and I spun around. “Where are we going?” he asked, following me through the diner and past the counter.