I took one last glance at Moira and spun around with my shoulders feeling lighter than they had in years.
* * *
LOLA
I rifled through the cupboard, searching for the meds I had in here somewhere. The heartburn was taking over my life, and I was sure it would kill me within the next hour if I didn’t take something to get rid of it.
My hand connected to the packet and I pulled, only to find them all gone. Dammit. Now I’d have to go outside and get some. It wasn’t a choice, because I couldn’t live the next fifteen minutes like this, never mind the whole night.
I pulled on a hoodie over my sleep tank and leggings, slipped my feet into my slides, and grabbed my wallet on the way out the door. Within ten minutes, I was exiting the store, taking the meds, and sighing in relief as it worked right away. I seriously needed to stock up on this stuff.
The elevator was finally working again, so I forwent the stairs for a ride up to my floor, and clasped on to my bottle like it was my life saver—it practically was at this point.
My keys jangled as I stepped off the elevator and started walking toward my apartment door. I looked up when I was ten feet away and halted, the keys slipping from my hand.
“Brody?”
He leaned against the wall opposite my apartment, and I tracked my gaze over his crossed ankles, up his slacks, and over his shirt tucked into them. His badge and gun sat proudly there, and for some reason, that made my breath catch. He was mesmerizing to look at, and I couldn’t stop staring. I finally made it to his face and his dark eyes that were zoned in on me.
I shook my head and dipped down. He wasn’t mine to think of like that, not anymore—he never really had been. I picked my keys up and gritted my teeth. Why was he here? What did he want this time?
“Lola—”
“What are you doing here?” I asked, moving toward my door. My shaky hands were betraying me, but I pulled my shoulders back and tried to give him my firm voice.
“We need to talk.”
I raised a brow and opened my door, stepping inside and looking back at him as he pushed off the wall. That one move shouldn’t have captured my attention the way that it had. “No, we don’t.”
His hand curled around the edge of my door, stopping me from closing it. My gaze moved from his hand to his face, and I blinked several times. The grinning face I’d been so used to wasn’t there, but neither was the firm lock of his jaw he’d worn since I’d found out who he was.
“Please. Give me fifteen minutes, and if you want me to leave, I will.”
I wanted to scream no. I wanted to tell him to go home—to his wife. But I did neither of those things, and instead, I stepped back so he could come inside.
“You say what you have to say, and then you can leave,” I told him, walking toward my small kitchen and placing my meds on the counter. I didn’t want to listen to what he had to say. I wanted to stay in this gray area I’d created where I didn’t quite hate him, but still kind of loved him.
Who was I fooling? Not myself. I loved him more than I’d ever loved anyone else, but he’d destroyed that with three words. You’re not enough.
I gritted my teeth at the memory and turned around to face him. He stood in the middle of the kitchen, facing me, his gaze flitting all over my body and stopping on my eye.
“I guess I should start at the beginning?”
“That’d be as good a place as any,” I replied, crossing my arms over my chest.
He pointed at one of the chairs in question, and I clipped my head in a nod. This was what I’d wanted from that first day, and it had taken nearly a month for him to finally come and tell me. So why did I all of a sudden not want to hear his explanation?
“I was undercover—”
I scoffed. “Yeah, I got that much.”
“To take Hut down.” He raised a brow. “The plan was to infiltrate him and turn you.” I opened my mouth, but he cut me off before I could say anything. “That plan went to shit the moment I met you. I knew I wouldn’t be able to put you in that kind of danger, but I told myself I needed to get closer to you so I could justify my decision.”
My nails bit into the soft flesh of my palms. “So I was a job to you?”
“No, let me finish, kid.” His chest moved on a deep inhale. “I fuckin' fell for you. I fell for you hook, line, and sinker, and there was nothing I could do about it. I tried to stop it, I tried to step back, but...I couldn’t. And then I was in deeper than I expected, and it wasn’t about just taking Hut down anymore, it was about protecting you.”
“Well, you kinda did a shit job considering you couldn’t protect me and Hut is back out on the streets.”