Whiskey and Country

Yes, he would’ve never taken no for an answer. My boy was special.

But so are you. Never stop yourself from following your heart.

Please stay in touch. And I wish you the best.

Murielle

The lining of my throat itched. The spiked sphere heaving in my chest doubled in size.

With trembling fingers, I unfolded the next sheet of paper filled with Derek’s scribbling. My elbows dug into the wooden tabletop, and I rested my chin on my closed fists.

The pizza delivery guy rang the doorbell. Or I hoped it was him this time. No way could I handle another surprise package.

Tucker got up and sauntered to the door, his hand squeezing my shoulder when he passed me. From the tone of the conversation, it seemed this time it really was the pizza guy.

I brought my attention back to the papers still in my hands, my grip on them too tight.

Tucker returned and put the box on the countertop.

“I’ll run a quick errand. Give you some space.”

I nodded, unable to get a word out.

My friend hadn’t voiced it out loud, too busy making sure I was all right, but I knew Derek’s passing had been hard on him too. How couldn’t it be?

I swallowed hard and blew out a quick breath. Firming my back, I read the last letter I would ever get from the boy who touched my heart in a million different ways and who showed me what true heroes were made of.

Hello bro!

I’m happy you agreed we should call each other this because it sounds like a grown-up friendship. Like you have with Tucker and Jace.

Mom is helping me put my gift to you together.She smiles under her tears as she watches me, telling me over and over how she’s proud of me. She keeps kissing my cheek, and it’s annoying, but I know she’s heartbroken because I won’t be here for long.

They explained it to me yesterday. I didn’t cry, bro. You will think I’m crazy, but I knew about it before they told me. It’s okay, I guess. I don’t know what to say. This makes me sad because I know you and Mom are sad. Living in the hospital sucks. Except for you, I don’t have any real friends anymore. But I’m all right with it because you’re the best.

I’m sorry we won’t be able to go to that hockey game you and I talked about so many times.

I don’t know when you’ll receive the package. I asked Mom’s lawyer to give it to you as soon as Mom was ready. It’s not much, but I wanted you to remember me forever.

Don’t be sad that I’m gone. Guess I’ll never be one of your best men after all. But I’ll cheer for you from a cloud when you finally find a girl to share your life with. Don’t be lonely. (You’ll never guess. This morning, I heard two nurses discussing how they thought you were cute. Seems girls like that scruffy jaw look you’ve been wearing lately. One wanted to ask you out. Fingers crossed).

All those dreams of yours you shared with me, make them happen. You never know when it’ll be too late. You deserve happiness. And a bucket load of joy, as Mom always says. I’ll never be able to do everything I wished for, so don’t miss your chance. In the box, I have included something to help you get started. In case you need a little push from me.

Fist-bumping you from heaven. Or that cloud.

Your other best friend,

Derek

My shoulders dropped as I re-read Derek’s last words once again.

“What the hell, bro,” I said, looking up, “even your exit is phenomenal.” I smiled through my tears and shook my head. “You wrecked me. How could you think I’ll ever forget you? You and I are best buddies. Forever.”

Every fragment of my heart turned to dust. My stomach churned at the whiff of the pizza a few feet from me. I clamped my hands together to stop the quivers.

Once my breathing steadied, I opened the box Derek sent me.

Lightness mixed with the jitters twirling inside me, because I had no doubt whatever it contained, it would have his colors. And just that thought calmed my racing heart.